Cooking By Myself

This statement isn't entirely true. I had two guests in the kitchen. Miss Sara Bellum and the Mayor, but they were more observers then sous chefs. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

It was a Tuesday. The irony was noted and the twins and I got together to make food. The previous Saturday we had stopped by the library after seeing Mad Max: Fury Road. I got a string of books and as usual I was dredging up that I had nothing to write about for Tasty Tuesday. Miss Sara Bellum said to me. Get a cookbook. Make something.

The heavens deposited Suzanne Somer's The Sexy Forever Recipe Bible into my hands. As my mother said to me when I brought the book home. “I never thought she was that sexy to begin with.”  

The twins were undecided as to whether she was one of the leggy blondes on Baywatch or Charlie's Angels. They were mistaking Suzanne Somers for Pamela Anderson and Farrah Fawcett respectively. Off the top of my head I didn't remember her show, but I knew they were wrong. If your trying to place her face your thinking about Three's Company and Step By Step. I had to google it. Feel no shame if you didn't know that information.

Farrah Fawcett

Pamela Anderson

Suzanne Somers

Now in true twin fashion they were completely on time. They were supposed to arrive around 6:00. I expected them about 6:15. They called. They were in traffic. They would be there at 6:45. 7:15 rolls around and the door bell finally rings. They were perfectly on time.

No part of the twins body is configured for cooking. I guesstimate to often for my own good. I had already started the soup. It was a Red Pepper Soup with Crispy Sage Leaves. It oozed healthiness. I also made it completely wrong. The roasted red peppers were not roasted. The crispy sage leaves were both sage and thyme. And, they weren't used as garnish, I blended them right into the soup.  

My body felt cleansed by this meal. All the toxins flowed right out of me. And, according to Suzanne the detox level was 1 and 2. So, that's exciting.

This is the first time that I've actually made the food I'm talking about for a Tasty Tuesday in ages. It's refreshing. By the time the doorbell finally rang I had the soup on simmer waiting forty minutes for it to be pulverized by the blender. We started on the cheesecake.

It was called a Capuccino Cheesecake. I used regular coffee. And, I substituted regular cane sugar for this Somer Sweet she speaks of. I don't think that's even in production. There's no crust on this cheesecake. Too many calories I suppose. Wax paper had to be layed down to protect it.  

At the point we expertly put it into it's water bath and set in the oven heated to 350 degrees we realized we needed some skanky bathing suits to go to the water park in. I'm publishing an article on Wednesday on that next week if you want to know more.

I left my mother in charge of handling the timer. We went out. Found a cute top for Miss Sara Bellum and I decided to purchase Sia's 1000 Forms of Fear. A fire of an album. It slays. I found a perfectly scandalous bikini bottom for the water park online. It all worked out. So, much for saving money.

We get home and we're picking out music for our roadtrip and my mother calls me on the home phone to let me know that the timer is going off and that I need to take the cheesecake out. This was one of the few moments in my life where I was like woman.

I take the cheesecake out. Wrap it in saran wrap and put it in the fridge. It won't be ready until tomorrow, but Miss Sara Bellum and I took a bite out of it and we thought it slayed. 

In hopes of maintaining our healthy diet. We made a drink I would describe as a root beer float with coffee instead of root beer. We were supposed to make the coffee ice cream by ourselves. We store bought it. We were supposed make whipped cream. We just skipped that step. The only thing we did right was make the simple chocolate syrup by ourselves. And, we used chocolate chips instead of dark chocolate.  

It was good. Tens across the board good of course not, but this is in a healthy cook book. This is supposed to help you keep your figure not destroy it. It honestly reminded me of Javachiller you could get at Sonic. The only thing my mother didn't like was the simple chocolate syrup.

We threw the excess chocolate syrup onto the cappuccino cheesecake and I preceded to lick the pan clean. The soup wasn't as filling as you might expect.  

I will probably not be adding the Suzanne Somer cookbook to my shelf anytime soon, but I enjoyed dabbling into her world of health. She makes her own broth apparently. And, as Barry Manilow says, “The only food I really look forward to eating is Suzanne's.” With celebrity endorsement like that how can you go wrong?

RECIPES:
Red Pepper Soup with Crispy Sage Leaves
2 tablespoons of Olive Oil
1 minced Celery Stalk
1 minced Onion
6 Roasted Red Peppers
Salt
1 diced Celery Root
2 cups of Chicken Broth
Garnish
Olive Oil
40 Fresh Sage Leaves
Salt
¼ cup of Sour Cream

In a stockpot, combine the olive oil, celery, and onion. Cook over moderate heat until the vegetables are soft and fragrant, 10-15 minutes. Add the red peppers and cook 3-4 minutes more. Season with salt. Add the celery root, 1 quart of water, and the stock. Cover and cook over moderate heat until the celery root is soft, about 40 minutes.

Heat a medium skillet over medium heat. Pour in enough oil to cover the bottom of pan. When the oil is hot but not smoking, add the sage leaves. Fry until crispy, 1-2 minutes. Drain on paper towels. Sprinkle with salt.

Puree the soup in the pot with a hand mixer or in batches in a blender or food processor. Ladle into warmed shallow soup bowls. Drizzle each bowl with sour cream in an attractive pattern. Sprinkle a few fried sage leaves on top and serve.

FUN FACT: The only thing I did in that last paragraph was puree the soup.

Cappuccino Cheesecake
24 ounces of Cream Cheese
1 cup of Sugar
3 Eggs
¾ cup of Sour Cream
1 tablespoon of Vanilla Extract
½ cup of Coffee
½ cup of Hot Water
2 cups of Whipped Cream

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Butter the sides and bottom of a 9 inch spring form pan. Line the bottom with a double thickness of waxed paper. Lay two 24 inch long pieces of aluminum foil on a work surface to make an X. Place the pan in the center of the foil and fold up around the sides to form a waterproof jacket.

In a large mixing bowl, beat the cream cheese and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the sour cream and vanilla. Mix until smooth. Add the coffee and mix well.

Pour the batter into the prepared pan and place in a large roasting pan. Place the roasting pan in the preheated oven and pour enough hot water into the roasting pan to surround the cheesecake pan with 1 inch of water.

Bake for 1 hour. Turn off the oven and let the cheesecake cool in the oven for an additional hour without opening the door. Remove the cheesecake from the water bath and cool to room temperature.

Cover the cheesecake and refrigerate in the springform pan, preferably overnight. To unmold, run a warm knife around the edge of the cheesecake and transfer the cheesecake to a serving dish. Garnish with whipped cream and coffee beans.

Bruce's Cafe Legois
6 ounces of Dark Chocolate
¾ cup of Heavy Cream
1 pint of Coffee Ice Cream
½ cup of Coffee
1 cup of Whipped Cream

Place the broken up chocolate in a medium bowl. Pour the cream into a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Add the hot cream to the chocolate and stir until all the lumps are gone.

Place 2 scoops of coffee ice cream in each glass. Pour a little hot espresso over the top of each. Drizzle a little chocolate sauce over the top. Garnish with whipped cream.

ALL RECIPES from the cookbook The Sexy Forever Recipe Bible by Suzanne Somers.