Rita Ora has officially been announced as the new host of America's Next Top Model. The show was picked up by VH1. There's no official start date for the reality show, but this isn't Rita Ora's first time as a judge. She's hosted on both The Voice and The X-Factor in the United Kingdom.
Fashion fans shouldn't be in total fear. Tyra Banks promises that she'll be dropping in throughout the cycle. Rita Ora may be out of her professional depth critiquing models on their runway look but Tyra is sure to bolster the panel with seasoned professionals that will help Ora make the right call. All she needs to do is keep her face powdered and her comments bitchy but relateable.
Rita Ora is still working on her second album after problems with Jay Z's record label Roc Nation and has yet to break through commercially in the United States, except for her guest spot on Iggy Azalea's “Black Widow”. We'll see if her lead role on ANTM will be her pop culture breakthrough. It certainly wasn't her spin in 50 Shades of Grey or ripping Zac Efron's shirt off on national television. We'll be watching.
It should be noted that Rita's American breakthrough was stilted after former boyfriend Calvin Harris refused to let her perform “I Will Never Let You Down” on national televison. A song he wrote and produced for the singer. Petty.
“Baby Don’t Lie” had reggae influence and a noticeable lack of brash effervescence so common in a Gwen release. Her third studio album was slated for a December 2014 release. I heard “Baby Don’t Lie” twice on the radio and it just missed the top 40 in the United States.
Buy "Baby Don't Lie"
She had a new single to premier at a one off performance. “Used To Love You” was bare and raw. It didn’t quite light up contemporary airwaves, but it was a critical return to form. Gwen was back.
“Make Me Like You” is her newest creation. Light and frothy it hopes to return her to the top 10 or at the very least top 40 of popular music charts. Full of words directed at Blake Shelton its hook laden in it’s simplicity. She knows how a million girls feel when they meet a new boy.
There are mentions of “ovens and beaters and graters”. All practical cooking utensils. Gwen apparently is also like “a chef making donuts and pastries”. You see there are plenty of food filled terminology to compile a list of yummy recipes to explain the inspiration of Gwen Stefani into today’s Tasty Tuesday.
Let’s also not forget about the “sour milk all on the floor” because someone “didn’t shut the refrigerator”. Sour dough pancakes anyone?
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
Combine the flour and salt. Set aside.
Cream the butter and sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the egg, vanilla extract, and butter extract, mixing well. Add the flour mixture, beating until it is well blended.
Put the dough into cookie molds, placing them on a baking sheet, baking for 9-11 minutes, or until the edges are light brown.
Turn the cookies onto a wire rack to cool, dusting them with powdered sugar
Inspiration: “ovens and beaters and graters”
2 cups of Flour
1 ½ teaspoon of Baking Powder
¼ teaspoon of Salt
½ cup of Butter
¼ cup of Sugar
2 tablespoons of Lemon Juice
2 tablespoons of Lemon Zest
Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.
Combine the flour, baking, powder, and salt. Set aside.
Cream the butter and sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the lemon juice and the lemon zest, mixing well. Add the flour mixture, beating until it is well blended.
Divide the dough in half and shape it into 2 logs about ½ inch thick and 1 ½ inches wide on a lightly greased baking sheet, baking for 25 minutes or until they are light brown.
Let cool for 5 minutes then slice them at a 45 degree angle, turn them onto their sides, baking for another 10 minutes.
NOTE: These are bland, but excellent when dipped in chocolate.
Inspiration: “a chef making donuts and pastries”
1 Egg Yolk
1 tablespoon of Heavy Cream
½ teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
1 ¼ cup of Flour
2/3 cup of Powdered Sugar
¼ teaspoon of Salt
1 cup of Raspberries
1 package of Vanilla Pudding
½ cup of Currant Jelly
8 ounces of Butter
Whisk together the egg yolk, heavy cream, and vanilla extract. Set aside.
Using a food processor, pulse the flour, powdered sugar, and salt. Add the egg mixture and the butter, pulsing until the mixture resembles coarse cornmeal. Press the dough into a tart pan and freeze for 10 minutes.
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
Bake for 20 minutes or until lightly browned.
Spread the pudding over the cooled crust, then place the fruit on it attractively. Brush the currant jelly over it all and refrigerate until ready to serve.
The heavens deposited Suzanne Somer's The Sexy Forever Recipe Bible into my hands. As my mother said to me when I brought the book home. “I never thought she was that sexy to begin with.”
The twins were undecided as to whether she was one of the leggy blondes on Baywatch or Charlie's Angels. They were mistaking Suzanne Somers for Pamela Anderson and Farrah Fawcett respectively. Off the top of my head I didn't remember her show, but I knew they were wrong. If your trying to place her face your thinking about Three's Company and Step By Step. I had to google it. Feel no shame if you didn't know that information.
At the point we expertly put it into it's water bath and set in the oven heated to 350 degrees we realized we needed some skanky bathing suits to go to the water park in. I'm publishing an article on Wednesday on that next week if you want to know more.
I left my mother in charge of handling the timer. We went out. Found a cute top for Miss Sara Bellum and I decided to purchase Sia's 1000 Forms of Fear. A fire of an album. It slays. I found a perfectly scandalous bikini bottom for the water park online. It all worked out. So, much for saving money.
I will probably not be adding the Suzanne Somer cookbook to my shelf anytime soon, but I enjoyed dabbling into her world of health. She makes her own broth apparently. And, as Barry Manilow says, “The only food I really look forward to eating is Suzanne's.” With celebrity endorsement like that how can you go wrong?
Red Pepper Soup with Crispy Sage Leaves
2 tablespoons of Olive Oil
1 minced Celery Stalk
1 minced Onion
6 Roasted Red Peppers
1 diced Celery Root
2 cups of Chicken Broth
40 Fresh Sage Leaves
¼ cup of Sour Cream
In a stockpot, combine the olive oil, celery, and onion. Cook over moderate heat until the vegetables are soft and fragrant, 10-15 minutes. Add the red peppers and cook 3-4 minutes more. Season with salt. Add the celery root, 1 quart of water, and the stock. Cover and cook over moderate heat until the celery root is soft, about 40 minutes.
Heat a medium skillet over medium heat. Pour in enough oil to cover the bottom of pan. When the oil is hot but not smoking, add the sage leaves. Fry until crispy, 1-2 minutes. Drain on paper towels. Sprinkle with salt.
Puree the soup in the pot with a hand mixer or in batches in a blender or food processor. Ladle into warmed shallow soup bowls. Drizzle each bowl with sour cream in an attractive pattern. Sprinkle a few fried sage leaves on top and serve.
FUN FACT: The only thing I did in that last paragraph was puree the soup.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Butter the sides and bottom of a 9 inch spring form pan. Line the bottom with a double thickness of waxed paper. Lay two 24 inch long pieces of aluminum foil on a work surface to make an X. Place the pan in the center of the foil and fold up around the sides to form a waterproof jacket.
In a large mixing bowl, beat the cream cheese and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the sour cream and vanilla. Mix until smooth. Add the coffee and mix well.
Pour the batter into the prepared pan and place in a large roasting pan. Place the roasting pan in the preheated oven and pour enough hot water into the roasting pan to surround the cheesecake pan with 1 inch of water.
Bake for 1 hour. Turn off the oven and let the cheesecake cool in the oven for an additional hour without opening the door. Remove the cheesecake from the water bath and cool to room temperature.
Cover the cheesecake and refrigerate in the springform pan, preferably overnight. To unmold, run a warm knife around the edge of the cheesecake and transfer the cheesecake to a serving dish. Garnish with whipped cream and coffee beans.
Bruce's Cafe Legois
6 ounces of Dark Chocolate
¾ cup of Heavy Cream
1 pint of Coffee Ice Cream
½ cup of Coffee
1 cup of Whipped Cream
Place the broken up chocolate in a medium bowl. Pour the cream into a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Add the hot cream to the chocolate and stir until all the lumps are gone.
Place 2 scoops of coffee ice cream in each glass. Pour a little hot espresso over the top of each. Drizzle a little chocolate sauce over the top. Garnish with whipped cream.
ALL RECIPES from the cookbook The Sexy Forever Recipe Bible by Suzanne Somers.
I've been making attempts to eat reasonably healthy. My parents are the ones who have been undermining me. I told you about my mother and those delicious chocolate covered caramel pretzels, and my mouth just watered and it's a struggle. My father hit much closer to home and bought me multiple cans of Pringles. I do not have control over my body when Pringles are around. I ate an entire can in one day and gained a pound (that I proceeded to lose).
If you are passing judgment that's fine. If I had not tried them, I would have also given it the side eye. It's flavors like these that have given me the confidence to try any flavor the Pringle brand puts out, because they do not disappoint. Even, if the flavor is weird as fuck.
Let's start with Bacon. Bacon is quintessential red blooded male flavor. I recently volunteered at an event and I served food and all the men reinforced their masculine by checking out the bacon and eating too much of it. Although. That bacon was the shit and I don't judge them at all.
Pringles did not go wrong. These were amazing. I paced myself. Ate them over the course of two days. Did not gain a pound. The only strange thing is that the can looks like the Original can, so it's hard to differentiate. I even ate the crumbs. I tilted that can and sucked it up. Did one of my coworkers judge me? Yes. Was it worth it? Also yes.
2 cups of Butter
1 cup of Sugar
2 teaspoons of Vanilla
4 cups of Flour
1 cup (2/3 can) of crushed Original Pringle's
1 cup of Chopped Nuts
Red and green sugar for coating cookies
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream butter, sugar and vanilla. Add flour; mix well. Stir in crushed Pringle's and chopped nuts. Combine thoroughly. Form into 1 inch balls. Roll in either red, green or granulated sugar. Place on ungreased baking sheets. Flatten with bottom of a glass dipped in sugar. Bake at 350 degrees for 14-16 minutes or until edges are lightly browned. .
Pringle's Party Candy
1 pound of White Chocolate
1 small can of Salted Peanuts
2 cans of Pringles
Crush potato chips slightly and mix with the nuts. Melt the chocolate in saucepan. Stir chocolate and nut mixture together and spread onto cookie sheet. Let cool and break into pieces.
Pringle's Fried Chicken
3 Chicken Breats
1 cup of Milk
1 container of Pringles
Lay the chicken breasts flat on a cutting board. Slice through them with your knife parallel to the cutting board, making thin cutlets. Set aside.
In a bowl, whisk the egg. Add the milk and whisk together.
Place the Pringles in a plastic zippy bag. Crush with a rolling pin until you have uniform crumbs. Pour into a shallow bowl.
Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray.
Dip each piece of chicken in milk mixture, then in crumbs, completely covering in the Pringles. Place on the baking sheet.
Bake 20-30 minutes, until chicken is no longer pink in the thickest portion.
Honestly, I try to be healthyish, but some of this food is a mess. It does not look good. It's so funny that I try to eat well. I made the grocery list this week for my mother. She's leaving to go visit my great aunt and I was like get me these fruits and vegetables. Don't buy me junk food. Get me those grape nuts. Get me those corn flakes. I really do like that type of cereal, though. I sound like a survivor of the Great Depression who's living in the nursing home, but I love those old people cereals. They slay me.
I try that is all I can say. If there is only healthy type foods to eat in the house that's what I'm going to eat. I was watching Ugly Betty tonight and I started out strong. Got me some strawberries and a banana, then those caramel chocolate dipped things called my name and I recanted. Eating healthy is hard when salt and sugar are calling your name.
It's not even about just eating healthy. It's about eating sustainable. I went to this thing at my school about it and life is just complicated. I honestly preferred life before I had to make adult decisions. I keep forgetting that I can vote in elections. I am now old enough to make a change in the world. It's intimidating. I don't want to make my own doctor's appointments. I just want to sit at home and listen to Cyndi Lauper. That's what I really want.
Shout out to anyone who is trying to eat healthy. Over breaks I do better, because I'll cook for myself. And, there's something that just seems more inherently healthy about cooking for yourself. But, during the school year. Between work and school obligations it's exhausting doing more then making a box of mac and cheese.
Hopefully, these recipes help you. We all have to eat and life is too short to eat food you don't enjoy. I don't know who the target audience of Bon Appetit, but something tells me it's upper middle class bored suburban housewife. I don't know who else could afford to make this.
The Greenest Smoothie
1 frozen Banana
1 cup of frozen Pineapple Pieces
1 cup of fresh Parsley
1 cup of Unsweetened Almond Milk
2 tablespoons of Almond Butter
2 tablespoons of Flaxseed Oil
1 teaspoon of Agave Nectar
1 teaspoon of Matcha
½ teaspoon of finely grated peeled Ginger
Puree all ingredients together. Sweeten with more agave if desired.
SIDE NOTE: I have no fucking idea what Matcha is.
Bring brown rice, quinoa, amaranth, millet, wheat bran, salt, and 6 cups of water to a boil in a medium pot. Reduce heat, partially cover, and simmer, stirring occasionally, until cereal is the consistency of porridge (softer and thicker than the usual bowl of oatmeal) and water is absorbed. About 40-50 minutes.
Heat coconut oil in a medium skillet over medium-high. Cook coconut flakes, stirring often, until toasted, 2 minutes, transfer to a plate.
Add apple, cinnamon, and 2 tablespoons of honey to skillet and cook, stirring occasionally, until apples are browned in spots about 3 minutes.
Serve porridge topped with apples, coconut, sea salt, bee pollen, and a drizzle of honey if you like.
SIDE NOTE: I don't know in what world someone has time to make this for breakfast. This is some dystopian novel shit. Bon Appetit is forgetting that we live in a capitalist society. Unless I get a maid this is not getting made for breakfast. And, in what universe is bee pollen casually thrown into the title of a recipe. This is what white America is.
“Tandoori” Carrots with Vadouvan Spice and Yogurt
2 tablespoons of Vadouvan
2 finely grated Garlic Cloves
½ cup of Plain Whole Milk Greek Yogurt
5 tablespoons of Olive Oil
1 pound of Small Carrots
¼ teaspoons of Turmeric
2 tablespoons of Lemon Juice
Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Mix vadouvan, half of garlic, ¼ cup of yogurt, and 3 tablespoons of oil in a large bowl until smooth, season with salt and pepper. Add carrots and toss to coat. Roast on a rimmed baking sheet in a single layer, turning occasionally, until tender and lightly charred in spots. 25-30 minutes.
Meanwhile heat turmeric and remaining 2 tablespoons of oil in a small skillet over medium low swirling skillet, until fragrant, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat.
Whisk lemon juice, remaining garlic, and remaining ¼ cup of yogurt in a small bowl, season with salt and pepper.
Place carrots on a platter. Drizzle with yogurt mixture and turmeric oil and top with cilantro. Serve with lemon wedges.
SIDE NOTE: No, I don't know why there are quotations marks around tandoori.
Chocolate Coconut Date Bars
2 cups of pitted Dates
¾ cup of raw Cocoa Powder
¾ cup of Unsweetened Shredded Coconut
¼ cup of Cocao Nibs
2 tablespoon of Agave Syrup
1 teaspoon of Kosher Salt
2 tablespoons of Water
Coat 8x8 baking pan with nonstick vegetable oil spray, line with parchement leaving overhang on all sides. Blend all ingredients in food processor until smooth. Press mixture firmly into pan. Cut into bars.
Normally, I would be like e-mail comment if you need any help. Yeah, I don't know what's happening. However, if you actually make any of these. Please comment. I want to know if there as terrible as they sound. All recipes came from the January issue of this year's Bon Appetit.
So, today I'm going to teach you about how to make French fries. Actually the three recipes I have are all baked, so it's like go on a diet and eat French fries. It's kind of amazing. I also keep typing fries as “fires” so if I don't catch it, I just wanted you to know what a mess my life is.
The French Fry needs to be worshipped. It's probably the best thing that the American culture has ever embraced besides the shopping cart. French fries are salty greasy heaven. I was out with Joyce recently and all I got was french fries. She judged me. I don't okay. French fries are life.
All my acne probably comes from my love for French fries. I think that's perfectly acceptable. French fries are amazing. Do you remember Freaky Friday. The remake, not the original when Lindsey Lohan is eating French fries in Jamie Lee Curtis's body and Jamie Lee Curtis gets really upset in Lindsey Lohan's body about how their going to go to her thighs. Good times.
Lindsay Lohan: You cannot eat fast food
Jamie Lee Curtis: Why not?
Lindsay Lohan: Because, it will go down your throat and drop instantly to my thighs.
This is where the real war is going to start. Where do you like to go get your French fries. I'm basic as fuck and I like me some McDonald's. Good, salty, and hot. Just like my men.
There really isn't such a thing as bad French fries. Always get a large, because you know you want them. Just don't be the people who get their fries at Wendy's and is like these are the best ever, because you are fucking lying to yourself. If you've got a hometown place to get your fries. Live your life. Be original. Just don't be a French fry snob.
Sweet Potato Oven Fries
2 Sweet Potatoes (peeled and cut into fries)
1/8 teaspoon of Salt
1/8 teaspoon of Paprika
1/8 teaspoon of Garlic Salt
1/8 teaspoon of Cayenne Pepper
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray, then place the potatoes in a single layer on the baking sheet. Bake them for 15 minutes, turn them over, and bake for an additional 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, combine the salt, paprika, garlic salt, and cayenne pepper. Set aside.
Sprinkle the fires with the seasonings, tossing to combine.
Roasted Sweet Potato Wedges
2 Sweet Potatoes (peeled and cut into wedges)
1 teaspoon of Olive Oil
½ teaspoon of Curry Powder
¼ teaspoon of Salt
¼ teaspoon of Cumin
1/8 teaspoon of Cloves
1/8 teaspoon of Pepper
Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
Combine the sweet potatoes, olive oil, curry powder, cumin, cloves, and pepper. Place them in a single layer on a baking sheet, and bake for 25 minutes, or until they are done.
Steamed Crisp Potatoes
4 Potatoes (thinly sliced)
1 cup of Chicken Broth
2 tablespoons of Butter
1 teaspoon of Salt
½ teaspoon of Pepper
Place the potatoes in a single layer in a skillet, season with salt and pepper, then pour ¾ cup of chicken broth over the top. Cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until the broth is absorbed.
Remove the potatoes, deglaze the plan with the remaining ¼ cup of chicken broth, add the butter, and return the potatoes to the skillet, cooking them until they are crisp.
As per usual I am running out of ideas on what to do for a Tasty Tuesday. I have not been cooking. At all. Literally nothing. I grab an apple and I go to school. I subsist on apples and water. Not even vitamin waters. It's like I'm going through a detox.
Grilled cheese has been coming to me recently, though. A lot of the people I sit with at lunch really like the grilled cheeses that our cafeteria/fast food place serves. I haven't had one, because I'm a cheap bitch and it would be diverting me from my diet of apples only.
I don't even know what I do at lunch. I'm always like, I have work to do, which is true, and I proceed to do none of it. I'm just like, this can be done later. Usually, I'm just on twitter or tumblr unless someone decides to include me in the conversation.
What is a grilled cheese. That's like an existential question. The greatest existential question. Grilled cheese are what childhood is. They are what I grew up on, because I refused to eat anything. I was not a healthy child and who knows what I am now that I'm technically an adult. The version of grilled cheese I shoved into my body as a child was made out of that Home Pride bread and Colby-Jack cheese.
I'm actually curious to know what you're grilled cheeses are like. I feel like this isn't a universal experience. We don't make grilled cheeses the same way. Some use American, some use white bread, some people don't butter the bread when they grill it. Honestly, I am not fucking with you, leave a comment, tell me about your childhood grilled cheese.
That's sort of what the point of today's Tasty Tuesday is. Giving you an adult and updated look at what a grilled cheese can be. Just being real with you I completely stole this from the Cosmopolitan article. The one with Hilary Duff on the cover. I knew last month when I was reading this article that I would need this. That I would not know what to write about and I was right
Below are recipes from the classic grilled cheese to artisanial renderings. Love it. Enjoy it. Get fat. You only live once. Don't be like me and only eat apples and be sad.
Also in case I haven't been obnoxious enough about it. Something exciting (and I do use exciting tentatively) is coming. Next week. The day I was born. You will love it. And much like the Jennifer Lopez album Love? I do put a question mark after that love. Will you love? it. I'm going to say yes.
The Classic Grilled Cheese
2 slices of Home Pride Bread
Copious amounts of Colby-Jack
Get a pan out and heat it up on the stove. Proceed to butter one side of each bread slice. You, then put the cheese in between the two bread slices in sandwich format. The butter sides should be on the outside. You put it in the pan, let the cheese get melty (three minutes probably), flip it over and wait another three minutes. Eat it.
As you can tell from my immaculate directions, I need to write a cookbook.
Goat Cheese, Turkey, and Avocado
2 slices of Bread
1-2 teaspoons of Goat Cheese
Sliced Turkey Breast
Spray pan with olive oil (or just ladle the bread with butter and tell the olive oil to go fuck itself), then grill the sandwich over medium heat.
Cheddar, Pear, and Arugula
2 slices of Bread
½ cup of thinly sliced Pears
½ cup of Arugula
2 slices of White Cheddar
Spray pan with olive oil, add sandwich, and let crisp over medium heat until cheese has melted.
Feta, Tomato, and Cucumber
2 slices of Bread
2 slices of Cucubmer
½ cup of thinly sliced Tomato
½ cup of Feta Cheese
½ cup of fresh Basil
Spray pan with olive oil, grill sandwich until bread begins to brown, and flip.
Although, I have slipped up with other people. I've called out Jenny in public before. It was okay, because there actually was a Jenny there. But, still that was awkward. I never talk to her and then I had to awkwardly stumble my way through conversation.
Today is actually Te Amo's birthday, except it isn't. Her birthday is the 22nd of January if I remember correctly and today's what the 27th? However, this is probably pretty close to when I did her surprise birthday party last year.
The entire time I was convinced that she knew. She did not know. May I suggest to everyone who does a surprise birthday party not to do it the way I did it. It was a smashing success, but that weekend was a mess.
Birthday's are time sensitive and that can't be helped, but the weekend I chose was the one I was doing my interview for college. It was this full ride scholarship, and I was like yes. I didn't get it. I failed miserably at the interview. It was rough. I had to get up at seven and I was there until about four in the afternoon on Saturday.
I was doing her birthday on Sunday, but I also had to go to this dinner with my neighbors that night. I was really over reaching. You go big or you go home. I had my layer cake recipe planned out. The numerous dips. You've got to blow up the balloons, and I suck it at. Not in the good way. I can't get the balloons up. That is my problem. I suck at sucking. Something my crush can never know.
Of course I had to clean as well. It was a real mess. I might have looked calm and collected, but on the inside I was Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada.
The guest list turned out really well. Basically everyone I told to come, came. I was insistent, I was like you need to be here. This is for Te Amo. People just love her. I wish I could be adored like Te Amo, but I am not willing to give up being a bitch so the masses like me. I could not pretend to like everyone and go about my business. It would not work for me.
She's a doll. I hope she had a great birthday. I didn't see her this year, because she's away at college. Passing, while I sit here struggling through the tears.
As I said I think Te Amo was surprised, but she wouldn't tell me if she wasn't. So, I will just imagine her surprise party went off without a hitch. It was a great gathering of people. There was conversation. People were talking. Everyone participated in a very violent game of Pictionary. It was great. The atmosphere was good. The music was good too. I have no idea what I put on, but I know Gaga came on at least once. Because, me and this one girl started singing “Sexxx Dreams” incredibly obnoxiously together.
Happy belated Birthday Te Amo. Being better then me in 2015.
Hot Spinach Artichoke Dip
1 cup of diced Onions
8 ounces of Sour Cream
8 ounces of Cream Cheese
14 ounces of chopped marinated Artichoke Hearts
15 ounces of chopped frozen Spinach
¼ cup of Butter
1 cup of grated Monterey Jack Cheese
1 cup of grated Parmesan
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
Saute the onions in the butter until they are softened. Add the cream cheese, sour cream, and Monterey Jack cheese and stirring until cheese has melted.
Add the artichoke hearts and spinach, mixing well. Pour the mixture into a baking dish and top with additional cheese. Bake for 20 minutes or until the cheese is lightly browned.
1 quart of Grape Juice
1/3 cup of Lemon Juice
1 pint of Orange Juice
½ cup of Sugar
48 ounces of Ginger Ale
Combine the grape juice, lemon juice, orange juice, and sugar, mixing well.
Before serving, add the ginger ale, stirring well. Pour in ice
NOTE: If you would like to garnish the punch (I never do) you can use mint leaves, orange slices, and lemon slices.
Lemon Layer Cake
1 cup of Milk
1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
1 teaspoon of Almond Extract
2 ¼ cups of Flour
1 ¾ cups of Sugar
4 teaspoons of Baking Powder
1 teaspoon of Salt
12 tablespoons of Butter
Lemon Curd Filling
1 cup of Lemon Juice
1 teaspoon of Unflavored Gelatin
1 ½ cups of Sugar
1/8 teaspoon of Salt
6 Egg Yolks
8 tablespoons of Butter
2 Egg Whites
1 cup of Sugar
¼ cup of Water
1 tablespoon of Lemon Juice
1 tablespoon of Corn Syrup
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 8 to 9 inch pans. Line bottoms with parchment paper.
Whisk the milk, egg whites, and both extracts together in a small bowl. In a large bowl, whisk the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt together. Beat the butter into the flour mixture, one piece at a time, about 30 seconds. Continue to beat until it resembles moist crumbles. About 1-3 minutes.
Beat in all but ½ cup of the milk mixture, then increase the mixer speed until smooth, light, and fluffy, 1-3 minutes. Reduce the mixer speed to low and slowly beat in the remaining ½ cup of milk mixture until batter looks slightly curdled. About 15 seconds.
Make sure it is thoroughly combined and pour into prepared pans. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.
Let the cakes cool in the pans for 10 minutes. Run a small knife around the edge of the cakes and then flip them onto the wire rack. Peel off the parchment paper.
It will take 2 hours for the cakes to completely cool, so they can be frosted.
Lemon Curd Filling
Measure 1 tablespoon of the lemon juice into a small bowl and sprinkle the gelatin over top. Cook the remaining lemon juice, sugar, and salt together in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally until the sugar dissolves and the mixture is hot, about 1 minute. Do not boil.
In a large bowl whisk the egg yolks and eggs together until combined, then slowly whisk in the hot lemon mixture to temper. Return the mixture to the saucepan and cook over medium heat, until the mixture is thickened and a spatula scraped along the bottom leaves a trail. This should take 4-6 minutes and on an instant read thermometer it should say about 170 degrees.
Off the heat stir in the gelatin mixture until dissolved. Stir in the frozen butter until melted and incorporated. Strain the curd into a bowl and press plastic wrap directly on the surface. Refrigerate the curd for at least 4 hours.
Placing one cake on the cake plate spread the filling over the top. Place the remaining cake layer on top and press lightly to adhere.
NOTE: You can split both cakes in half. And, incorporate more layers. I find it to be difficult to do it this way, but I am also not skilled as a cook or a baker or anything kitchen related. So, live your life.
In a large bowl whisk all the ingredients together until combined. Set bowl over a large saucepan until combined. Set the bowl over a large saucepan of barely simmering water, making sure the water does not touch the bottom of the bowl. Heat the mixture, whisking constantly until it reads 160 degrees on an instant read thermometer. About 5-10 minutes.
Remove the bowl from the heat and whip the mixture for 5-7 minutes until stiff peaks form. Increase mixer speed and beat for another 5-7 minutes. Frost the cake with the icing.
The way I did was to pipe the icing into an even-ish formation on the cake. Then, I used a spoon to give it this wavy pattern. I'm not sure if that make sense, but it was very pretty. And, compared to most parts of this cake, it wasn't that hard to do.
Everything's a competition when you're raised by the television.