Freedom Fries

Do you remember that? Years ago when people started calling them Freedom Fries instead of French Fries. Someone needs to stop conservatives sometimes. That was such a mess. Let's not forget that the French still everything from the Belgian. So, really we should have just called them the Belgian Fries and been good world citizens. But, you know what we didn't. Weren't we upset with France for not wanting to go to war. That is such a mess. It's like calm down America. Not everyone needs to blow something up.

So, today I'm going to teach you about how to make French fries. Actually the three recipes I have are all baked, so it's like go on a diet and eat French fries. It's kind of amazing. I also keep typing fries as “fires” so if I don't catch it, I just wanted you to know what a mess my life is.

The French Fry needs to be worshipped. It's probably the best thing that the American culture has ever embraced besides the shopping cart. French fries are salty greasy heaven. I was out with Joyce recently and all I got was french fries. She judged me. I don't okay. French fries are life.

There are so many types of fries. Crinkle fries, steak fries, skinny fries, deep fried fries. Just fries in general. Fries can be dipped in anything. A milkshake, the ketchup, the ranch. I'm partial to dunking my fries in ranch. I have no shame in admitting that. Boomer absolutely hates ketchup. So, together we're just an odd group of people.  

All my acne probably comes from my love for French fries. I think that's perfectly acceptable. French fries are amazing. Do you remember Freaky Friday. The remake, not the original when Lindsey Lohan is eating French fries in Jamie Lee Curtis's body and Jamie Lee Curtis gets really upset in Lindsey Lohan's body about how their going to go to her thighs. Good times.

Lindsay Lohan: You cannot eat fast food
Jamie Lee Curtis: Why not?
Lindsay Lohan: Because, it will go down your throat and drop instantly to my thighs. 

When I was out for my sister's wedding. This was a while ago. It was like 8th grade year and all the girls were getting their hair did. It took forever. I wasn't getting my hair did and my mother got me French fries from this place next door. One of my sister's bridesmaids was about 10 years old. Annoying as fuck. My mother being a kind hearted person let her share my French fries.

I was hungry. I did not want to share. And, this little girl kept saying “I'm not hungry”. Proceeded to eat the entire bag of French fries. Fuck her the little cunt. Made me so mad. I still want to punch her in the face. Do not come between me and my French fries. I will fucking cut you.

This is where the real war is going to start. Where do you like to go get your French fries. I'm basic as fuck and I like me some McDonald's. Good, salty, and hot. Just like my men.

There really isn't such a thing as bad French fries. Always get a large, because you know you want them. Just don't be the people who get their fries at Wendy's and is like these are the best ever, because you are fucking lying to yourself. If you've got a hometown place to get your fries. Live your life. Be original. Just don't be a French fry snob.  

RECIPES:
Sweet Potato Oven Fries
2 Sweet Potatoes (peeled and cut into fries)
1/8 teaspoon of Salt
1/8 teaspoon of Paprika
1/8 teaspoon of Garlic Salt
1/8 teaspoon of Cayenne Pepper

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray, then place the potatoes in a single layer on the baking sheet. Bake them for 15 minutes, turn them over, and bake for an additional 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, combine the salt, paprika, garlic salt, and cayenne pepper. Set aside.

Sprinkle the fires with the seasonings, tossing to combine.

Roasted Sweet Potato Wedges
2 Sweet Potatoes (peeled and cut into wedges)
1 teaspoon of Olive Oil
½ teaspoon of Curry Powder
¼ teaspoon of Salt
¼ teaspoon of Cumin
1/8 teaspoon of Cloves
1/8 teaspoon of Pepper

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

Combine the sweet potatoes, olive oil, curry powder, cumin, cloves, and pepper. Place them in a single layer on a baking sheet, and bake for 25 minutes, or until they are done.

Steamed Crisp Potatoes
4 Potatoes (thinly sliced)
1 cup of Chicken Broth
2 tablespoons of Butter
1 teaspoon of Salt
½ teaspoon of Pepper

Place the potatoes in a single layer in a skillet, season with salt and pepper, then pour ¾ cup of chicken broth over the top. Cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until the broth is absorbed.

Remove the potatoes, deglaze the plan with the remaining ¼ cup of chicken broth, add the butter, and return the potatoes to the skillet, cooking them until they are crisp.