Cigars! Cigarettes! Cookies!

Girl Scout cookie season is upon us.

That might not be true, but the inspiration behind this blog post is there. Recently, I assisted in a bake sale for the GSA. The Gay Straight Alliance. Not the SGA, or any similarly titled fraternity. We gayed it up and we sold out. It was completely amazing.

​ Bake sales are the suburban way of taking back their neighborhoods and getting quick investments of out of old white people. We the gays have propagated that in an attempt to add some rainbow to the world. 

I got roped into this event. My cooking skills are lacking, but I said to myself I'll help. Then, it came to the week and it was homecoming. I had events. I had tests. I had things to do. Sleep to catch up on. Then, I got corned late night in the library. Bake something. No one's bringing anything. Through my bleary red eyes I agreed, the good person I am. 

At home I put some things in the mixer. I decided on peanut butter cookies, because the allergic slut that I am will not be tempted to eat them. I put them in the oven. Set the timer and sit down at the kitchen table and pass out. I wake up to the blearing of the microwave to take out the burning cookies. We sell them for 50 cents each the next day.

I'm a good gay. 

The title of this Tasty Tuesday came from the movie Troop Beverly Hills. It's a classic part of my childhood. In an attempt to outsell Velda Plendor and her Red Feathers, Shelly Long has her girls go through out Beverly Hills selling cookies. Cigars! Cigarettes! Cookies! You have to cover all the markets. 

There's one part where one of the girls dons a Tina Turner wig and sings her out on the corner of Rodeo Drive singing “It's Cookie Time.” The other girls give her girl group realness and choreographed dancing. Indie rocker, Jenny Lewis is their with her sexy red hair. 

It's a movie about wealthy, privileged girls, roughing it in hotel rooms and designer sleeping bags. There's romance. Divorce. Affairs. All of it wrapped up in a PG rating.

Troop Beverly Hills is what powered me through my baking that night. They might have sold boxes of cookies and I might have to bake mine. But, what else could you expect? I live in the wrong zip code and I'm not part of an internationally recognized organization. 

I'm sure there was a time when the Girl Scouts actually made their own cookies, used their own ovens. But, those times have passed. Now, preboxes samosas, thin mints, and peanut butter cookies flood the market place to end up in everyone's freezer when they decide they want to put off their weight gain.

The collection of cookies below are tried and true recipes of the good old days that don't come from a plastic wrapper. 

RECIPES:
Peanut Butter Cookies
1 ¼ cup of Flour
¾ teaspoon of Baking Soda
¼ teaspoon of Salt
½ cup of Butter
½ cup of Peanut Butter
½ cup of Sugar
½ cup of Brown Sugar
1 Egg
½ teaspoon of Vanilla Extract

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.

Cream the butter, peanut butter, sugar, and brown sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the egg and vanilla extract, mixing well. Add the flour mixture, beating until it is well blended.

Roll the dough into 1 inch balls, roll them in sugar and place them on an ungreased baking sheet, making a criss cross pattern in each cookie with the tines of a fork. Bake for 10 minutes or until they are light brown.​

Let cool for 1 minute before removing the cookies to a wire rack to cool.

Butter Cookies
2 ½ cups of Flour
¾ teaspoon of Baking Powder
¼ teaspoon of Salt
1 cup of Butter
2/3 cup of Sugar
1 Egg
1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Combine the flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

Cream the butter and sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the egg and vanilla extract, mixing well. Add the flour mixture, beating until it is well blended.

Bake for 10 minutes or until they are light brown. 

Chocolate Chip Cookies
2 ¼ cup of Flour
1 teaspoon of Baking Soda
½ teaspoon of Salt
1 cup of Butter
¾ cup of Sugar
¾ cup of Brown Sugar
2 Eggs
2 teaspoons of Vanilla Extract
2 cups of Chocolate Chips

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees

Combine the flour, baking soda and salt, mixing well. Set aside.

Cream the butter, sugar, and brown sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the eggs and vanilla extract mixing well. Add the flour mixture, beating until it is well blended.

Stir in the chocolate chips mixing well. Drop by the teaspoonful onto an ungreased baking sheet, baking for 9-11 minutes, or until they are golden brown.

Remove from the baking sheet to a wire rack immediately.