Recently, I was surrounded by a group of Hispanics playing Cards Against Humanity and the black card that was pulled read “things white people like”. Every single set of eyes turned to look at me. At the time I didn't have an answer (the card I put down was “incest”), but looking back at it now in January 2016 I realize the answer is casserole.
There is nothing more white American then a good old casserole. We've all been to church potlucks. There's always a row of casseroles. Most of them are not very good, but that doesn't change the fact that vaguely threatening white women in their forties all bring them.
Whenever you're sick, the neighbors always bring over a casserole. I think that's more in the movies, but when ever someone's dying of cancer they bring a casserole for the husband when the wife dies. It's classic suburbia.
And, whenever you move to the suburbs you always get a casserole. It's a great way to meet the new neighbors and find out if their teenage daughters have gonorrhea without being nosy. We would have gotten a casserole if we our neighbors hadn't determined very quickly that we were the cunts from California. License plates do wonders in deterring conversation.
Californians are also the most obnoxious people. We think we're hot shit. We will always mention that we're from California when we meet new people. “Yeah, I lived in California. And, I mean lived. Capital L-I-V-E-D lived if you know what I mean. I was born and raised there before my parents uprooted me and moved us to Missouri when I was eight months old.”
The worst casserole is always the one with the green beans. The green beans are never cooked all the way through. I don't know why people insist on making it. I always avoid it at the buffet line. I'm sure there is some sweet grandmother out there who knows what she's doing, but I'm not interested.
Restaurants don't serve casserole. I think it's a prejudice. The casserole is not a respected art form. But, there is a reason white people love the casserole. It's easy to make and sometimes it's damn good.
That is why I have dedicated an entire Tasty Tuesday to the concept of the casserole. I want to impart upon you the good kind. That and I had nothing else to write about.
The worst thing that happens with a casserole is when no one likes it. Because, no one throws it away. They leave it in the fridge. They deep freeze it as left overs. It grows mold and someone has to break their mother's heart and throw it away without her knowing.
2 lbs of Ground Beef
1 chopped Onion
14 ounces of Tomato
½ of diced Green Bell Pepper
1 clove of Garlic
2 cans of Niblets Corn
2 packages of Egg Noodles
15 ounces of Colby Jack Cheese
Preheat the oven to 300 degrees
Brown the ground beef, onion, and green bell pepper. Drain off excess fat. Set aside.
Combine the tomatoes and corn, heating them until they are warmed through, about 20 minutes.
Mix together the ground beef mixture, tomato mixtures, noodles, and half of the cheese. Pour the mixture into a baking dish and sprinkle it with the remaining cheese. Bake just until the cheese melts, 10-15 minutes.
Chicken Noodle Casseroles
1 stick of Butter
1/3 cup of Flour
1 cup of Milk
2 cups of Chicken Broth
1 ½ teaspoon of Salt
½ teaspoon of Pepper
3 ounces of sliced Mushroom
1 cups of diced Rotisserie Chicken
8 ounces of Noodles
1/3 cup of Parmesan
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
Melt the butter, and then whisk in the flour to make a roux. Gradually whisk in the milk, whisk in the chicken broth, stirring until it has thickened.
Stir in the salt, pepper, and mushrooms. Add the chicken, noodles, and Parmesan cheese, stirring to combine. Pour the mixture into a prepare baking dish, cover, and bake for 45 minutes, or until bubbly and golden.
1 cup of small Pasta
2 tablespoons of Olive Oil
½ cup of Chicken Breasts
1 clove of Garlic
14 ounces of chopped Tomatoes
1 cup of Mozzarella
¼ cup of fresh Parsley
¼ teaspoon of Salt
¼ teaspoon of Pepper
¼ cup of Bread Crumbs
¼ cup of Parmesan
1 tablespoon of Butter
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
Saute the chicken in the olive oil for 3 minutes. Add the onion and garlic, stirring to combine, and cooking for another 5 minutes. Remove the skillet from the heat and combine the mixture with the pasta. Add the tomatoes, mozzarella cheese, parsley, salt, and pepper, stirring to combine. Pour the mixture into a buttered baking dish and set aside.
Combine the bread crumbs and parmesan cheese, sprinkling over the pasta. Dot it with butter and baking until it is golden, about 30 minutes.