Some say it's too much. And, by some I mean me. Is it too much Ivy Levan in two weeks? I want the answer to be yes and then she's so flawless that I feel no guilt. As usual I was struggling with what to write about for Tasty Tuesday. And, then an unidentified flying biscuit hit me in the face.
I was listening to Ivy Levan's “Biscuit”. AGAIN. Because, it's just so good and I was jamming, trying to figure out what I was going to do. Then, I realized. What is the title of this song
What is also a food product?
Granted the only other one I can think of is “Holy Water”. That's a Madonna song and just as sacrilegious as you would imagine. I definitely think that Rihanna's “Cockiness” counts. At some point she says “I love it when you eat it”. What is he eating? Probably not the box of chocolates he bought his girl on Valentine's Day.
I have no answer as to why a biscuit is a metaphor for the vagina. Someone who is more creative then me can leave a comment and explain it to us all. Preferably an English major. You all know what's up when it comes to bull shitting imagery.
For the most part I exist on carbohydrates alone. Any type of bread you can think of. I was at lunch today and this girl showed me something that said “*flirting* What kind of bread do you like?” And I was like me and she was like me. And together we both realized we were meant to be with each other for the rest of our lives. Except not.
For the first time in at least a solid month all of the recipes I'm putting down are real Bubble Righted tested and approved. I enjoy the bread products and shout out to me for baking once in a great while. Sometimes you just got to make your own bread products. There are desperate times.
Bake safely. Do not burn the house down. And in the words of RuPaul:
Baking Powder Biscuits
½ cup of Shortening
2 cups of Flour
1 tablespoon of Sugar
3 teaspoons of Baking Powder
1 teaspoon of Salt
¾ cup of Milk
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees
Using a food processor, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt, pulsing until it resembles coarse crumbs.
Add the milk, pulsing until the dough leaves the side of the bowl.
Turn the dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead it lightly 10 times. Roll the dough to ½ inch thickness and cut with a round cookie cutter, placing the biscuits on an ungreased baking sheet about 1 inch apart. Bake the biscuits for 10-12 minutes, or until they are golden brown. Remove the biscuits from the baking sheet immediately and serve warm.
1 cup of Milk (scalded)
1 cup of Butter
2 teaspoons of Salt
½ cup of Sugar
2 packages of Yeast
¼ cup of lukewarm Water
4 ½ cup of Flour
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees
Add the butter, salt, and sugar, to the scalded milk, stirring until the butter is melted. Set aside.
Sprinkle the yeast into the lukewarm water, add the eggs, mixing well. Add the milk mixture, beating well, then beat in the flour. Let rise for 6 hours.
Chill until to ready to use.
Form the dough into 1 inch balls, brush with butter, and let rise until they are double in size. Bake for 20 minutes.
1 cup of Flour
1 cup of Yellow Cornmeal
¼ cup of Sugar
4 teaspoon of Baking Powder
¾ teaspoon of Salt
1 cup of Milk
¼ cup of Canola Oil
Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
Combine the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add the eggs, milk, and canola oil, beating it until the mixture is smooth, about 1 minute. DO NOT OVERBEAT
Pour the mixture into a greased bread pan, and bake for 20-25 minutes.
1 ¼ cups of Flour
¼ teaspoon of Salt
1 teaspoon of Sugar
1 cup of Milk
Preheat the oven to 425 degrees
Combine the flour, salt, and sugar, mixing well. Gradually add the milk and eggs, beating thoroughly.
Heat a well greased popover pan until it is hot. Pour the batter into the popover pan until each is about ½ full and bake for 27 minutes.
Reduce the temperature to 300 degrees, and continue baking for another 3 minutes.