| Putting something in a crisp, brown paper bag does not explain the mark up on this item. I have not been cooking. If we're being honest. I have been subsisting on pita chips and vitamin waters with occasional dinners out to really change up my diet. It's a sad existence. But, at the same time I take comfort in eating while watching Covert Affairs. |  |
So, instead of dredging up the past and trying to make something up for you. I am going to tell you about my experiences with Whole Foods. This might be a national entity. It isn't everywhere like Walmart, but essentially it's this very high class super market, where nothing is name brand. I think Trader Joe's would be a good comparison. Hopefully wherever you live you have one of these.
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I was out to the movies with Rosencrantz and Sacajawea this one Saturday night, but we had two hours to kill. So, went into the downtown area and got us some cupcakes at this adorable little cupcake shop. That was everything. But, we still had time to kill and movie theater candy to sneak in.
Me, being the genius that I am suggest that we go to Whole Foods. Experience the good life. Before we even go in. There are these two stations outside for people to charge up their electric cars. These exist. When did this happen. I thought we were going to have pay to get into this store, that is too good for me.
The first thing we are accosted with is the fresh produce section. I see spiky fruit and some very expensive raspberries. Then, there's this long leaf, thing, with these cactus spikes on the end. I pick it up and it starts to cave into itself.
I am standing in the middle of this upper class grocery store, waving an aloe leaf around, saying “Rosencrantz why do they even have this?” I'm not totally uneducated. I know what aloe is. I just didn't understand why there was an aloe leaf for sale in a grocery store. Are rich people making their own aloe lotion know, so they have to go to the store and sever the aloe leaf themselves to get all the healing powers out of it. I just don't know why it was there.
The goal I had in mind when we entered the Whole Foods was to find a drink. Something unusual, but not disgusting. The Papaya Cayenne didn't really appeal to me. Actually almost every drink they had didn't appeal to me. By the grace of god we stumble upon a line of lemonades. I decide I will try the mango one in the name of experimentation (it was terrible). But, we still had a good bit of time before the movie started.
Bob Marley also has his own line of drinks now. Let's clarify that. His family using his picture now has their own line of drinks. I was interested. I was about to buy it. But, they were like caffeine boosters and energy drinks, and I am just not here for that. I do not need Bob Marley to help me with my mental capacity.
The first thing we are accosted with is the fresh produce section. I see spiky fruit and some very expensive raspberries. Then, there's this long leaf, thing, with these cactus spikes on the end. I pick it up and it starts to cave into itself.
I am standing in the middle of this upper class grocery store, waving an aloe leaf around, saying “Rosencrantz why do they even have this?” I'm not totally uneducated. I know what aloe is. I just didn't understand why there was an aloe leaf for sale in a grocery store. Are rich people making their own aloe lotion know, so they have to go to the store and sever the aloe leaf themselves to get all the healing powers out of it. I just don't know why it was there.
The goal I had in mind when we entered the Whole Foods was to find a drink. Something unusual, but not disgusting. The Papaya Cayenne didn't really appeal to me. Actually almost every drink they had didn't appeal to me. By the grace of god we stumble upon a line of lemonades. I decide I will try the mango one in the name of experimentation (it was terrible). But, we still had a good bit of time before the movie started.
Bob Marley also has his own line of drinks now. Let's clarify that. His family using his picture now has their own line of drinks. I was interested. I was about to buy it. But, they were like caffeine boosters and energy drinks, and I am just not here for that. I do not need Bob Marley to help me with my mental capacity.
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| I don't think his family thought this through. Oh, tea. They sell tea there. It's expensive. Expensive as hell actually. It was twenty dollars for a can of tea. Not loose leaf tea, mind you. Tea in a packet. Whole Foods thinks their funny. I'm here to inform them that they are not. They also sell dog food. Over priced organic dog food. The dog is part of the family. But, it should not cost fifty dollars to feed a Yorkie every week. Try again Whole Foods. Some of the drinks had those Chia seeds put in them. Now that is going too far. It also upsets me that they don't sell tabloids. The good stuff you know. Instead there were things like Yoga. This has to be the only store in the entire country of America that actively stocks a monthly magazine name Yoga and expects people to buy it. Now Whole Foods was an experience. One you should consider in your life. I mean they have everything. A bakery, a deli. You could go bankrupt real quick there. |  
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Having checked on their website. I have a few recipes you might want to try. I didn't.
RECIPES:
Peruvian Crab Causa
Relish
1/2 large red onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup white vinegar
1 (4-ounce) can sliced jalapeño peppers, with their juice
1/3 bunch cilantro, leaves and stems, finely chopped
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 (8-ounce) jar roasted yellow peppers, strained and finely chopped
1/2 lime, Juice of
Causa Layers
2 pounds Yukon potatoes
Salt and pepper, to taste
2 limes, Juice of
1/4 cup canola or corn oil
1 (16-ounce) can lump crab meat, drained
1/4 cup mayonnaise
2 avocados, sliced
6 large romaine lettuce leaves, sliced
Grease a 12-inch rectangular bread mold with a bit of oil, then line it with 2 large pieces of plastic wrap, making sure they overlap so all the bottom and sides of the mold are covered and there is enough wrap on the sides of the mold with which to fold over and tightly cover the causa once it has been assembled. Set aside.
For the relish, put onions and vinegar into a medium bowl, cover and set aside for 45 minutes. Meanwhile, place the jalapeños and their juice into a blender and blend until smooth. Strain the mixture through a fine sieve, separating the juice from pulp left over. Reserve juice and pulp separately in small bowls. Strain the onions, discarding the vinegar and return to the bowl. Add cilantro, salt and pepper, 1/2 cup of the yellow peppers, lime juice and 1 tablespoon of the reserved jalapeño pulp. Cover and set relish aside. (Reserve remaining jalapeño pulp and juice for later use in the causa.)
For the causa, place potatoes in a large pot and cover by 2 inches with cold water. Add 2 tablespoons salt and bring to a boil. Cook for about 25 minutes, until potatoes are tender when pierced with a knife. Drain and let potatoes cool until you can handle them safely. Peel potatoes and press them through a potato ricer or the fine side of a cheese grater, making sure no lumps remain. Transfer potatoes to a large bowl and add the juice of 1 lime, oil and 1/4 cup of the reserved jalapeño juice. Mix with a potato masher, adding salt and pepper to taste. Place in the refrigerator until cooled.
Meanwhile, mix crab meat with mayonnaise and juice from 1/2 a lime. Season with salt and pepper, cover and refrigerate. Put avocados, remaining juice from 1/2 a lime, salt and pepper into a bowl and toss gently to combine.
Use a large spoon to spread one-third of the potato mixture into a layer at the bottom of the bread mold. Arrange half of the avocado slices in the mold for the next layer, making sure all corners and sides of the mold are covered. Transfer about 6 dollops of the crab meat mixture to a small bowl, cover and refrigerate for later use. Spread half of the remaining crab meat mixture into the mold to make the next layer. Press down firmly with the back of a spoon. Repeat with one more layer each of the potato mixture, avocados and crab, then finish with a layer of potato mixture on top. Fold the plastic wrap over the top of the mold to cover completely. Press down slightly along the top of the mold, then refrigerate for at least 1 hour.
To serve, carefully uncover the plastic wrap and unmold the causa over a serving plate. Spread some of the reserved relish over the top of the causa. Arrange lettuce leaves on 6 serving plates. Cut the causa carefully into six slices and place one slice on top of the lettuce on each serving plate. Add more of the relish and a dollop of the reserved crab meat mix on top of each slice. Serve immediately.
Relish
1/2 large red onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup white vinegar
1 (4-ounce) can sliced jalapeño peppers, with their juice
1/3 bunch cilantro, leaves and stems, finely chopped
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 (8-ounce) jar roasted yellow peppers, strained and finely chopped
1/2 lime, Juice of
Causa Layers
2 pounds Yukon potatoes
Salt and pepper, to taste
2 limes, Juice of
1/4 cup canola or corn oil
1 (16-ounce) can lump crab meat, drained
1/4 cup mayonnaise
2 avocados, sliced
6 large romaine lettuce leaves, sliced
Grease a 12-inch rectangular bread mold with a bit of oil, then line it with 2 large pieces of plastic wrap, making sure they overlap so all the bottom and sides of the mold are covered and there is enough wrap on the sides of the mold with which to fold over and tightly cover the causa once it has been assembled. Set aside.
For the relish, put onions and vinegar into a medium bowl, cover and set aside for 45 minutes. Meanwhile, place the jalapeños and their juice into a blender and blend until smooth. Strain the mixture through a fine sieve, separating the juice from pulp left over. Reserve juice and pulp separately in small bowls. Strain the onions, discarding the vinegar and return to the bowl. Add cilantro, salt and pepper, 1/2 cup of the yellow peppers, lime juice and 1 tablespoon of the reserved jalapeño pulp. Cover and set relish aside. (Reserve remaining jalapeño pulp and juice for later use in the causa.)
For the causa, place potatoes in a large pot and cover by 2 inches with cold water. Add 2 tablespoons salt and bring to a boil. Cook for about 25 minutes, until potatoes are tender when pierced with a knife. Drain and let potatoes cool until you can handle them safely. Peel potatoes and press them through a potato ricer or the fine side of a cheese grater, making sure no lumps remain. Transfer potatoes to a large bowl and add the juice of 1 lime, oil and 1/4 cup of the reserved jalapeño juice. Mix with a potato masher, adding salt and pepper to taste. Place in the refrigerator until cooled.
Meanwhile, mix crab meat with mayonnaise and juice from 1/2 a lime. Season with salt and pepper, cover and refrigerate. Put avocados, remaining juice from 1/2 a lime, salt and pepper into a bowl and toss gently to combine.
Use a large spoon to spread one-third of the potato mixture into a layer at the bottom of the bread mold. Arrange half of the avocado slices in the mold for the next layer, making sure all corners and sides of the mold are covered. Transfer about 6 dollops of the crab meat mixture to a small bowl, cover and refrigerate for later use. Spread half of the remaining crab meat mixture into the mold to make the next layer. Press down firmly with the back of a spoon. Repeat with one more layer each of the potato mixture, avocados and crab, then finish with a layer of potato mixture on top. Fold the plastic wrap over the top of the mold to cover completely. Press down slightly along the top of the mold, then refrigerate for at least 1 hour.
To serve, carefully uncover the plastic wrap and unmold the causa over a serving plate. Spread some of the reserved relish over the top of the causa. Arrange lettuce leaves on 6 serving plates. Cut the causa carefully into six slices and place one slice on top of the lettuce on each serving plate. Add more of the relish and a dollop of the reserved crab meat mix on top of each slice. Serve immediately.
Pasta Frittata, Chard Bacon, and Goat Cheese
2 cups whole wheat shells or fusilli
4 slices bacon, cut into small pieces
1 cup chopped yellow onion
4 lightly packed cups chopped chard
10 eggs
1 (4-ounce) package fresh goat cheese with garlic and herbs, crumbled
2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Bring a medium pot of water to a boil, add pasta and cook until al dente, about 10 minutes. Drain well and set aside. (If you’re using leftover cooked pasta, you’ll need about 3 cups.)
Meanwhile, in a large, ovenproof skillet, cook bacon over medium-high heat until just crisp, 6 to 8 minutes. Transfer to a paper-towel-lined plate and set aside. Carefully discard all but 1 tablespoon drippings and then return the skillet to the heat. Add onion and cook, stirring often, until golden brown, about 5 minutes. Add chard and cook, tossing occasionally, until wilted, 2 to 3 minutes more.
Meanwhile, in a large bowl, whisk together eggs, half of the goat cheese, parsley, salt and pepper; stir in pasta and bacon. Pour into the skillet, spreading out evenly, top with remaining goat cheese and cook 2 minutes more.
Transfer to the oven and bake until set in the middle and golden brown around the edges, 10 to 15 minutes. Let rest for 10 minutes and then loosen edges and bottom and slide out onto a plate. Cut into wedges and serve.
2 cups whole wheat shells or fusilli
4 slices bacon, cut into small pieces
1 cup chopped yellow onion
4 lightly packed cups chopped chard
10 eggs
1 (4-ounce) package fresh goat cheese with garlic and herbs, crumbled
2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Bring a medium pot of water to a boil, add pasta and cook until al dente, about 10 minutes. Drain well and set aside. (If you’re using leftover cooked pasta, you’ll need about 3 cups.)
Meanwhile, in a large, ovenproof skillet, cook bacon over medium-high heat until just crisp, 6 to 8 minutes. Transfer to a paper-towel-lined plate and set aside. Carefully discard all but 1 tablespoon drippings and then return the skillet to the heat. Add onion and cook, stirring often, until golden brown, about 5 minutes. Add chard and cook, tossing occasionally, until wilted, 2 to 3 minutes more.
Meanwhile, in a large bowl, whisk together eggs, half of the goat cheese, parsley, salt and pepper; stir in pasta and bacon. Pour into the skillet, spreading out evenly, top with remaining goat cheese and cook 2 minutes more.
Transfer to the oven and bake until set in the middle and golden brown around the edges, 10 to 15 minutes. Let rest for 10 minutes and then loosen edges and bottom and slide out onto a plate. Cut into wedges and serve.
PB&J Bites
1 1/4 cup rolled oats
1 1/4 cup dried currants
1/2 cup no-salt-added unsweetened peanut butter
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Place oats, currants, peanut butter, vanilla and cinnamon in a food processor and process until smooth and sticking together. Drizzle in 2 to 3 tablespoons hot water so that the mixture comes into a ball. Using a teaspoon, scoop out a heaping spoonful of the mixture. Roll into a ball, pressing firmly so that it sticks together. Chill bites until ready to serve. Refrigerate in an airtight container for up to 5 days or freeze for up to 1 week.
1 1/4 cup rolled oats
1 1/4 cup dried currants
1/2 cup no-salt-added unsweetened peanut butter
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Place oats, currants, peanut butter, vanilla and cinnamon in a food processor and process until smooth and sticking together. Drizzle in 2 to 3 tablespoons hot water so that the mixture comes into a ball. Using a teaspoon, scoop out a heaping spoonful of the mixture. Roll into a ball, pressing firmly so that it sticks together. Chill bites until ready to serve. Refrigerate in an airtight container for up to 5 days or freeze for up to 1 week.
ALL RECIPES RETRIEVED FROM www.wholefoodsmarket.com
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