The Christmas 15

Day 2 of the 12 Days of Bubbles continues.

Some people say that there's the freshman 15. I believe the holiday's hold their own vice. The Christmas 15. I personally blame Santa Claus for this.

What really are the holidays built for? Spending time with “family” and “friends”. Like no I went away for college so I didn't have to spend time with you fake ass bitches. So, here I am shoving cookies in my mouth gaining fifteen pounds and crying.

Last holiday cycle I got incredibly sick after exam week and spent most of my time on the couch or in bed with a box of tissues and a plate of cookies. Cardamon, sugar, chocolate chips. The works. These did not help me get better. I would have rather overdosed on Vitamin C. 

Christmas cookies truly are part of the season. If you throw a holiday party and you don't have cookies, it's as if you haven't really celebrated.

Part of this should be shifted on Santa Claus. He breaks into our houses. Leaves a sweater that's two sizes two small for us and then expects us to BAKE HIM COOKIES. I don't think so Santa. I'm sure the reason he expects us to make him baked goods is because Mrs. Claus has him on a diet and he rebels every Christmas Eve. 

Personally, I am offended by Santa Claus and his outrageous standards that he forces upon us. What about the poor children whose parents can't afford cookies. This is a classist system Santa Claus has put us under. He is discriminating against the impoverished children of the world.

I must let you know that last year when I hosted a Christmas party I did bake cookies. I even wrote a Tasty Tuesday on it. Clever as I am I entitled it “Rocking Near The Christmas Tree” (read here). It was a lot of effort. I hosted it the final day of exam week. I was running last years 12 Days of Bubbles that requires more time commitments then normal. It was a mess.

I won't be hosting another gathering of friends this year. It's a commitment of time and energy. I'll make an effort to see the twins. Boomer. The really important people in my life, but having people over is an emotionally draining experience that I am just not about. 

There was even a What's Happening Wednesday post on my reflection on it. I posted it in January. That's how nonexistent my life is that I had to write about a past experience. You can read about that if you want to (read here). Of course I could have written about the funeral I went to.

All of this said mama is going to give you recipes on some bomb ass cookies. If you want to host the party of 2015. Let Bubbles be there for you. Let me help you succeed in this capitalist society.

The cookies presented on this list are all winners or they very least they sound good. I think I did a great job on this. Especially considering my propensity for Tasty Tuesday's.

Pro Tip: Go to other people's parties. Drink their alcohol. Eat their food.

RECIPES:
Festive Oatmeal Cookies
1 ½ cups of Flour
1 teaspoon of Baking Soada
½ teaspoon of Baking Powder
½ teaspoon of Salt
½ teaspoon of Cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon of Cloves
1 cup of Butter
1 cup of Brown Sugar
1 Egg
1 ½ teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
2 cups of Oat
½ cup of Golden Raisins
½ cup of White Chocolate Chips

Make sure to preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and cloves. Set aside.

Cream the butter and sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the egg and vanilla extract, mixing well. Add the flour mixture, beating until it is well blended.

Stir in the oats, raisins, and white chocolate chips. Drop by the teaspoonful onto a parchment lined baking sheet, baking for 13-15 minutes until golden brown.

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Hershey's Kiss Cookies
1 cup of Butter
3 ounces of Cream Cheese
1 cup of Sugar
1 Egg Yolk
1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extracct
2 ½ cup of Flour
½ package of Hershey Kisses

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

Cream the butter, cream cheese, and sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the egg yolk, and almond extract, beating until it is well blended.

Add the flour, mixing well. Refrigerate the dough until it is firm enough to roll into balls.

Roll the dough into 1 inch balls, then roll them in sugar, and place them on a greased baking sheet. Flatten the cookies slightly with a glass that has been dipped in sugar. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until they are light brown.

Remove the cookies to a wire rack, immediately placing a Hershey kiss into each one.

Millionaire Shortbread
1 ½ cup of Butter
2 ¾ cup of Flour
½ cup of Sugar
14 ounces of Sweetened Condensed Milk
¼ cup of Light Corn Syrup
1 cup of Brown Sugar

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Using a food processor, pulse together 1 cup of the butter, flour, and sugar until it is crumbly. Press the mixture into a prepared baking pan and bake for 18 minutes or until is is lightly golden.

Meanwhile, combine the remaining ½ cup of butter, sweetened condensed milk, and light corn syrup, heating until the butter has melted. Turn the heat to low, add the brown sugar, and cook, stirring constantly until it begins to thicken. Pour the caramel evenly over the shortbread and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.

Pecan Cookies
1 ½ cups of Flour
½ teaspoon of Baking Soda
½ teaspoon of Baking Powder
1 cup of Butter
1 cup of Brown Sugar
1 cup of Sugar
2 Eggs
1/3 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
1/3 teaspoon of Butter Extract
1/3 teaspoon of Nut Extract
2 cups of Oat
1 ½ cup of Crispy Cereal
1 cup of chopped Pecans

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

Combine the flour, baking soda, and baking powder. Set aside.

Cream the butter, molasses, brown sugar, and sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the eggs, vanilla extract, butter extract, and nut extract, mixing well. Add the flour mixture, beating until it is well blended.

Stir in the oats, crispy cereal, and pecans, mixing well. Shape the dough into rolls, and refrigerate for 2 hours. Slice the dough into ¼ inch slices, and place them on a lightly greased baking sheet. Bake for 12-14 minutes or until they are light brown.

Remove the cookies to wire racks to cool.