I Would Lick That Off Your Body

Just to clarify, I have no intentions of licking any of this food off of anyone's body anytime soon. Or, ever really. As usual, I had no idea what to write for a Tasty Tuesday and I was just sitting there in math class talking about my problem to a friend. She suggests to me that I write an article about food you could lick off of someone's body.

I would like to say this came around naturally. I don't know if it did. I honestly cannot remember. What probably happened was this other friend of mine. Who said to me. Out loud. In public. “I could lick his body.”

That is too much information. I love you, but calm yourself. That is just something you think. I personally do not really understand this concept of wanting to eat food off of your lovers body, but I am not totally judging. I will try anything once and who knows it could be really fun. It would combine my favorite activity of eating into the mix.

Let me tell you how uncomfortable it was going through the cookbooks, specifically looking for food I could eat off of someone's body. I don't know how I would explain that one to my mother. She always sees me in the cookbooks, and whenever she asks me what I'm doing. I tell her I'm looking for something to make.

I'm surprised she hasn't asked me why I'm always looking for recipes and I never make any. We are also not talking at the moment. It's been a week and the last time I talked to her, I said “hello, madre”. She glared at me and didn't respond.

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It's really wonderful living at home.

I also told everyone that I wasn't going to write this article. I told them the concept and added the forewarning that I was not going to write it. Well, here I am.

Even, two days ago I said I wasn't going to. I was out to dinner with Rosencrantz and I told her about it. I was like I'm never going to write this. We see how that works.

I just want you to know that I do not condone or suggest that you should actually put food on top of your lovers body and lick it. That is probably not sanitary. However, if you do. Live your life. I will not judge you. I wrote this article

Side note that the people that came to mind when discussing who to lick food off their bodies revolved around Nick Jonas and Colton Haynes. Just in case you were wondering who my celebrities crushes are at the moment.  

RECIPES:
Clotted Cream
1 cup of Heavy Cream
1/3 cup of Sour Cream
3 tablespoons of Powdered Sugar

Whipped Cream
1 cup of Heavy Cream
1 tablespoons of Sugar
1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract

Whip the heavy cream, sugar, and vanilla extract until stiff peaks form.

Hazelnut Spread (Known to the world as Nutella)
1 cup of toasted and peeled Hazelnuts
2 tablespoons of Canola Oil
2 tablespoons of Powdered Sugar
1 tablespoons of Coca Powder
½ teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
12 ounces of melted Milk Chocolate

Using a food processor, pulse the hazelnuts until they make a paste. While the machine is running, drizzle in the canola oil, processing until it is well combined.

Add the powdered sugar, cocoa powder, and vanilla extract, mixing well.

Push the mixture through a strainer to remove and chunks, then stir into the melted chocolate and let cool.

Lemon Curd
1 cup of fresh Lemon Juice
1 teaspoon of Unflavored Gelatin
1 ½ cup of Sugar
1/8 teaspoon of Salt
6 Egg Yolks
4 Eggs
8 tablespoons of Butter

Sprinkle the unflavored gelatin over 1 tablespoon of lemon juice. Set aside.

Combine the remaining lemon juice, sugar, and salt, heating until the sugar has dissolved. Set aside.

Whisk together the yolks, and eggs until they are well combined. Slowly whisk in the lemon juice mixture, cooking over a medium low heat, stirring constantly, until the mixture has thickened, 4-6 minutes.

Remove from the heat and stir in the unflavored gelatin and butter. Refrigerate until it is spreadable about 4 hours.

Butterscotch Sauce
1 cup of Brown Sugar
2 tablespoons of Light Corn Syrup
¼ cup of Milk
2 tablespoons of Butter

Combine all of the ingredients, bringing to a boil, and stirring for 3-4 minutes or until thickened.

Honey Mustard Sauce
2/3 cup of Beef Broth
3 tablespoons of Butter
3 tablespoons of Flour
3 tablespoons of Dijon Mustard
3 tablespoons of Honey
1 teaspoon of Water
¼ teaspoon of Chili Powder

Melt the butter, then whisk in the flour to make a roux. Slowly whisk in 1/3 cup of the beef broth.

Stir in the Dijon mustard and honey, then the remaining beef broth, stirring until the sauce has thickened.

Add the water and chili powder

Serve warm. But, not too warm.  

This is definitely one of those moments where if Enrique Iglesias told me to lick him, I would not say no.

Mashed Potatoes
4 boiled Potatoes
4 tablespoons of Butter
¼ cup of Heavy Cream
4 tablespoons of Cream Cheese
½ teaspoons of Salt

Drain the potatoes well, then add the butter, heavy cream, cream cheese, and salt, mashing until well mixed, and the desired consistency.

I want the one in white