Category: Host

American Idol... Returns?

6/6/2017

American Idol host, Ryan Seacrest is also in talks to return for the 2018 season of American Idol. In comparison to Katy Perry, the mainstay from the previous seasons is only being offered $10 Million US Dollars for his services

American Idol has only been off the air since last year. The juggernaut saw it's commercial peak wane after Paula and Simon called it quits, and although the forebarer to The Voice, in the words of Nelly Furtado, “all good things must come to an end.” A-List stars Jennifer Lopez, Mariah Carey, and Nicki Minaj couldn't save the show.

Scream Queens got canceled, but somehow American Idol got picked up by ABC- switching networks from Fox- for the 2018 season. You've got a solid 6+ months to get ready to decide if your going to binge this rework. With the reemergence of Will & Grace, Roseanne, Full House, and The Gilmore Girls, to name only a few it's questionable if this brand is heading for a comeback too soon.

So, far all we know is that Katy Perry is on the judging panel for a cool $25 million dollars. ABC is banking on Katy Perry having personality, but global superstars aren't going to give it to the people auditioning good like we want. We need a Simon Cowell. A Natalia Kills to say “as someone who respects creative integrity and intellectual property... I'm disgusted!” Jennifer Lopez was sweet. Same with Britney. We need a little edge and Katy Perry can only kiss a girl so many times for ratings.

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The Tic Tac Diet

1/26/2016

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RuPaul, drag queen extrodinaire, gave wonderful life advice when he talked about the tic tac diet on his first Christmas special.

As usual I was sitting there drinking my water, having no idea what to write this week, when a tiny orange pebble fell out of the sky and hit me square in my temple. After I woke up I realized that what had fallen upon me was a tic tac.

It brought to mind all of my tic tac memories. I have so many. Not a Christmas goes by with a package of tic tacs in my stocking. And, the Easter basket isn't complete if a complete set of pastel colored tic tacs isn't waiting for my inner child.

Now, this is the premise of the tic tac diet. A diet I take part in. In the morning you eat one tic tac. In the afternoon you eat one tic tac. And at night you think about the two tic tacs you will eat tomorrow. It's a very healthy diet. It's great for you. There's a counting cup. RuPaul endorses it. Me (your favorite blogger) endorses it. And, who doesn't love tic tacs.

From my extensive research and practical knowledge, I know that a tic tac is 1.9 calories a tac. If you eat two that's 3.8 calories. A wonderful way to burn off that excess Christmas weight.

RuPaul is known to have people over for dinner and serve them nothing, but one tic tac. He is a true, gracious host. If only I'd been born on November 17th in 1960, I could have observed the manners of that time period.

I truly do have an infinity for tic tacs. I usually have on in my backpack Their sweet, tangy, and colorful. Just like me. They're like a delicious M&M without the calories. Their a beautiful thing.

I knew of someone who used to only eat the outside of the tic tac. The full 1.9 calories was too much. So, they would suck on it until the candy shell dissolved. I personally think this is how pills should be flavored. Someone please still this idea from me and make it happen.

The company that makes tic tacs are God on earth. They make Ferroro Rocher. The pinnacle of chocolate making. Nutella is also manufactured by them. As much as they care about our waistlines, sometimes I think they don't.

Tic Tacs are for the better part just mints. Delicious mints, but mints none the best. Their perfect in case you ever find yourself about to make out with someone. You swirl it around in your mouth. The container is pocket sized. You can offer one to your kissing mate. Have to make sure you both are on the same minty freshness. Their perfect.

Now I've never actually cooked with tic tacs. Why ruin the low calorie appeal? But, for you. My favorite people I have done some research and you will be pleased to know that you too can cook with tic tacs.

Oh my.

RECIPES:
Tic Tac Pie
1 Baked Eight Inch Pie Crust
2 cups of Instant Chocolate Pudding
2 containers of Tic Tacs

Full recipe at Is It Safe? (here)

Tic Tac Drink
1 part Orange Rum
1 Part Triple Sec
1 Part Orange Juice
1 Part Red Bull

Full Recipe at Drink Nation (here)

Orange Tic Tac
2 ounces of Mandarin Vodka
2 ounces of Red Bull
3/4 ounce of Orange Juice

Full recipe at Food (here)

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Rockin' Near The Christmas Tree

12/24/2014

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Just so we are clear, “Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree” is not one of my favorite Christmas songs. I can bop to it, but it is not my jam for life. I just felt it was an appropriate title. Our Christmas tree is this massive eight foot tall monstrosity and its always pushed near the corner. You can't really dance around it. You could say that you can dance near it, but that is a little bit of stretch.

This is basically a rough outline of how to get your Christmas on.

The first step is decoration. When decorating for Christmas, remember that there is no such thing as too much Christmas. It is one month out of the year and it's supposed to be over top. My family gets turnt the fuck up.

Now you would think that we're the kind of people who put our lights up, turn on that Celine Dion before Thanksgiving. No. that is not what we do. We honor the November holiday, then tear the house apart the next day. This is usually a good three day process. Bring all the boxes down. Actually try to find a place to put everything.

We are the family that does not share our Christmas warmth and celebration. There are no lights hanging up outside. Think of the electricity bill. My father is stingy.

Actually we do have snowman lanterns if you want to call them that. We shove some stakes in the ground and hang these solar powered snowmen up. However, we moved that to the back of the house this year, so our neighbors can't even it. We do have a wreath, although it's not a wreath. It's actually a placard that says “Happy Birthday Jesus” and then we have a garlandesque thing on the mail box.

As a family we are not friendly to our neighbors. The one neighbor we talk to, forced themselves upon us. Our family is just not social in that regard. We keep to ourselves. We do not acknowledge our neighbors. I swear when they wave at me. I'm like, I do not know you like that. Put your hand down.

Once you've managed to put three Christmas trees in one room. You are prepared for the onslaught of company. You will of course need musical leviation. What I love about Christmas is that this is the one time of year you can shove singers onto people and no one really has a problem. The way I structure my Christmas compilation is via CD. My mother has this practically antique five disc CD changer and I select five CD's and put it on random.

The ones I'm for sure picking this year are going to be Celine Dion's These Are Special Times and Bette Midler's Cool Yule. Legit these are the two Christmas albums I listen to all December long. Usually I do some Amy Grant, but I am just not feeling her this year. What I am definitely feeling are Sheryl Crow's Home For Christmas. It has this very bluesy earthy feel. Then, I was thinking we would go all teen pop and choose between either Hilary Duff's Santa Claus Lane or the Cheetah Girls and their Cheetahlicious Christmas.

At this point you really have to throw some male voice in for variety. Obviously, I would pick RuPaul and his fabulous Ho, Ho, Ho but my parents do think he's the devil himself. So, that's not happening. From here I'm thinking a compilation of Christmas songs by Frank Sinatra or Cee Lo Green's Magic Moment.

Cee Lo really would be the obvious choice, but I'm just not feeling him. The music is good. I just don't really appreciate his rape comments. I might be overly sensitive to things like that, but it really kind of offended me. I probably will pick him. I don't know. The funny thing is I bought that album with money my parents gave me to buy food. Before I started working that's truly how I attained a music collection. I would take my money I was supposed to use for food and buy music. You were hungry for a few hours, but you had music for a lifetime. It was worth it.

Now as the host of this bitching Christmas party, you do need to consider mistletoe. Ours is always strategically placed over a table, but know the kind of people you're inviting. This is really a consideration. Also , what you are going to wear. This is the one time out of the year you see a lot of these people.

I already know what I'm going to wear. This great red tartan plaid sweatshirt with some black skinny jeans. I was thinking maybe wearing a different color, but I want to be sexy. Maybe put a bow in my hair to look even more like a present. Even, though crush will not be there. It's a good thing he won't be. First, I would have to move the mistletoe, secondly I would be a terrible host. I would ignore everyone to talk to him. It would not end well.

I mean I relate to “What Are You Doing New Years Eve?” to much as it is, so this is not a good idea.

The one thing I have not mentioned is the food. Read below for what I'm doing. I am not doing candy this year. Some of it's a lot of effort and people just don't seem to eat it. I'll probably make the eggnong recipe I mentioned in the We Oughta Be Drinking article, but this is basically it. I don't know how holiday themed it is, but it works. The only thing I don't do well on is appetizer foods. For me Christmas is junk food, it is sweets, but people like the real food at Chrismtas parties. So, far the only thing I have is this cream cheese spread.

I was also thinking maybe like a hot dip that you could like dip bread in. Like have a warm baguette off to the side and this good creamy dip. I don't know. Also, cupcakes, because you can always set them up really cute and arrange them. Below is what I am making. It's going to be so good. Like even if no one shows up, I will be content.

RECIPES:
Jalapeno Cream Cheese Spread
8 ounces of softened Cream Cheese
½ cup of Jalepeno Jelly
1 package of Crackers

Place the block of cream cheese on a platter.

Pour the jalapeno jelly over the cream cheese

Serve with crackers

Holiday Almond Bundt Cake
1 1/3 cup of softened Butter
1 ¼ cup of Orange Juice Concentrate
1 tablespoon of Orange Zest
½ teaspoon of Salt
1 1/3 cup and 2 tablespoons of Sugar
5 Eggs
5 Egg Yolks
¾ teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
2 cups of Flour
1/3 cup of Cornstarch
1 teaspoon of Baking Powder
1 cup of Heavy Cream
2 cups of Berries

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees

Prepare the bundt cake pan. This involves coating it with cooking spray and pouring sugar over it. You will want to dump the excess sugar out.
Melt the butter, orange juice concentrate, orange zest, sand salt. Set aside.

Combine the 1 1/3 cup of sugar, eggs, egg yolks, and vanilla extract, mixing well. Gently fold in the flour, cornstarch, baking powder. Fold in the butter mixture by hand until it is well mixed. Spoon the cake batter into the bundt cake pan, baking for 60-70 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

Cool the cake for 10 minutes in the pan, then invert it onto a cake plate.

Beat the heavy cream with the remaining 2 tablespoons of sugar until stiff peaks form.

Serve the cake with whip cream and berries.

Brown Sugar Cinnamon Snowflakes
1 ¾ cup of Flour
1 teaspoon of Baking Powder
1 ½ teaspoon of divided Cinnamon
¾ cup of softened Butter
1 ¼ cup of Brown Sugar
1 Egg
1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
2 tablespoons of Sugar

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees

Combine the flour, baking powder, and 1 teaspoon of cinnamon. Set aside.

Cream the butter and brown sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the egg and vanilla extract, mixing well. Add the flour mixture, beating until it is well blended.

Refrigerate the dough until it is firm enough to roll. Roll the dough to 1/8 inch thickness and cut out the shapes using a snowflake cutter. Place the cookies on an ungreased baking sheet.

Combine the remaining ½ teaspoon of cinnamon and sugar. Set aside.

Flatten the cookies slightly with a glass that has been dipped in the cinnamon-sugar mixture. Bake for 4-6 minutes, or until they are slightly brown.

Remove the cookies to a wire rack to cool. When they are cool, pipe white icing onto the cookies.

Cashew Dreams
1 cup of softened Butter
6 tablespoons of Sugar
1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
2 cups of Flour
1 ½ cups of chopped Cashews
1 ¼ cup of Powdered Sugar
1 ½ tablespoon of Milk
½ teaspoon of Vanilla Extract

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

Cream the butter, sugar, and vanilla extract until it is light and fluffy. Add the flour, beating until it is well blended.

Stir in the cashew mixing well. Roll into 1 inch balls and place them on a greased baking sheet, baking for 8-10 minutes, or until they are light brown.

Remove the cookies to a wire rack to cool. When they are cool, combine the powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla extract, stirring until it is a spreadable consistency. Spread the icing onto the cookies allowing the icing to harden.

Chocolate Chip Cookies
2 ¼ cups of Flour
1 teaspoon of Baking Soda
½ teaspoon of Salt
1 cup of softened Butter
¾ cup of Sugar
¾ cup of Brown Sugar
2 Eggs
2 teaspoons of Vanilla Extract
2 cups of Chocolate Chips

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees

Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt, mixing well. Set aside.

Cream the butter, sugar, and brown sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the eggs and vanilla extract, mixing well. Add the flour mixture beating until it is well blended.

Stir in the chocolate chips, mixing well. Drop by the teaspoonful onto an ungreased baking sheet,baking for 9-11 minutes, or until they are golden brown.

Remove from the baking sheet to a wire rack immediately.

Ultimate Chocolate Espresso Brownies
5 ounces of chopped coarse Bittersweet Chocolate
2 ounces of unsweetened chopped coarse Unsweetened Chocolate
8 tablespoons of Unsalted Butter
3 tablespoons of Dutch Processed Cocoa Powder
1 ¼ cups of Sugar
3 Eggs
2 teaspoons of Vanilla Extract
½ teaspoons of Salt
1 cup of Flour
1 ½ teaspoon of Instant Espresso

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line an 8 inch square baking pan with a foil sling and grease the foil. Melt the chocolates, butter, cocoa powder and instant espresso together in the microwave, stirring often, 1 to 3 minutes. Let the mixture cool slightly.

In a large bowl, whisk the sugar, eggs, vanilla, and salt together. Whisk in the melted chocolate mixture, until combined. Stir in the flour until just incorporated.

Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and smooth the top. Bake the brownies until a toothpick inserted until the center comes out with just a few moist crumbs attached 35 to 40 minutes.

Let the brownies cool completely in the pan, set on a wire rack, about 2 hours. Remove the brownies from the pan using the foils.

NOTE: A foil sling is two pieces of aluminum. That cover both sides of the pan. When, I read it I thought it was a really cool idea. You just pull the ends of the foil out and the entire brownie will come out. I hope that makes sense.

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Winging It

9/9/2014

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My cooking abilities are minimal. I don't really know how to cook. I can follow a recipe, but if you want me to create a full blown meal by chance, that isn't going to end well. Cookbooks are what I follow, I know nothing beyond that.

I met a Brother recently, a Catholic brother, and I was talking to him, and he was an older gentleman, and he had surprisingly good hearing. So, I said to him, “Did you listen to the radio when you were younger.” He tells me that of course he had he listened to all the greats, he mentions Dinah Shore.

I stop him and say, “I thought she wrote a cookbook.” Brother Ignacious looks at me like I'm crazy, but I am not. I go home and I discover a Dinah Shore cookbook in the cupboard. Granted, I knew about her for a very minor part in her life. After looking her up, I found that she had an extensive solo career in music and television. Her writing a cookbook was not really a keystone piece in her life work.

In the past few weeks I haven't cooked, recipes. I have entertained. I have gone off the cuff, but I have not followed any instructions. So, forgive the generalities put in place for this weeks recipes.

There are only two things I've cooked. It was the night Robin Williams passed, that we were playing Cards Against Humanity. The thing I love the most about that game is that saying “I just really love dead babies” is not that strange. And, of course I won as usual. Because, I'm fantastic, and I also took the cards of another player. Miss Sara Bellum likes to claim that she won, but we all know the truth.

It was about eight. I don't remember who it was, but they said they were going to leave, so they could have dinner. I told them that we could make something. Unless they really just wanted to leave. Obviously they didn't. I'm perfect. So, I decide that we'll make pasta, and this very simple cream sauce to go along with it.

We are in the process of making this when I realize that we do not have heavy cream. So, we use milk. The sauce is for all intensive purposes the consistency of water. Thunder, proceeds to take the helm and we add an array of cheeses, seasonings, and chicken to thicken up the sauce.

Poor Boomer is with us. He is a very picky eater, and I am planning on dumping all the white sauce over the pasta and putting it into one big bowl on the table. By this point the entire dinner had escalated, we had china out, there were tea and coffee pots. But, Boomer says to me can't we just separate the two.

I acquiesce assuming he will not eat the pasta with the sauce. I do not know if I goaded him into it, but he does. He eats it. He spoons that sauce onto the pasta and whether or not he enjoyed it. He ate it.

Spooning the pasta out was a nightmare. Thanks to me. I used this huge pot, and I said we don't need to break the spaghetti in half. Well. No, we did not have to. For eating purposes. We should have. That is my lesson of the day. Always break the pasta in half.

When all of this is over, Thunder and I, ignore cleaning the dishes and allow Boomer, Miss Sara Bellum, and the Mayor to deal with it. They need to work on their rinsing skills.

The last thing I made was a collective group effort that came around when Miss Sara Bellum and the Mayor were over. This was the last day they were in town before heading off to college. And, I had forgotten to eat all day. I was starving. It was eight o'clock. They come over. I suggest popcorn, innocently enough. We end up adding chocolate chips, marshmallows, butter to this popcorn. It was basically everything and more. That might be the hunger talking.

It might also be that I was watching The Simple Life with them and as the most brain dead TV show in reruns, will be the perfect show to watch after semester exams.

RECIPES:

Parmesan Sauce
¾ cup of Parmesan
¾ cup of Milk
½ cup of Butter
Garlic Powder
Salt
Butter
Flour
Butt load of Extra Parmesan
½ cup to 1 cup Mozzarella
Chicken Base (Tiny Bit doesn't matter)

Combine the Parmesan, milk and butter stirring on low heat until mix. Proceed to add indiscriminate amounts of butter, flour, Parmesan, and mozzarella. Add chicken base, salt, and garlic powder to flavor.

Put on top of baked pasta.

It might feed six people.

*May Not Be An Accurate Representation*

The Simple Life Popcorn
Popcorn
¼ cup of Butter
Salt
Chocolate Chips
Marshmallows

Pop the popcorn. Pour the melted butter over it. Then, put as much salt, chocolate chips, and marshmallows your heart can handle on top.

We found the chocolate chips settled to the bottom. So, you might want to melt them before putting it over the popcorn. We also considered adding butterscotch chips and caramel sauce to it. Just some suggestions from the Bubbles cooking team.

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American Idol... Returns?

The Tic Tac Diet

Rockin' Near The Christmas Tree

Winging It

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