Everyone's favorite horror/comedy is back for it's second season. Emma Roberts, Billie Lourd, and Abigail Breslin are all reprising their roles as the Chanels. Last season left us with the Red Devil Killer looming over Chanel #1, knife in hand. The writers assure us that there's a new killer this season and that the Red Devil is not “back”. The show has updated it's set from college to hospital. Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) is heading it up. Zayday Williams (Keke Palmer) is also back to help “save lives”. |
All we've seen so far is a snippet of the Chanel's walking down a corridor, but this season is sure to be bloodier and sexier then before. That is if we're to trust Ryan Murphy. One of the main creators behind the show, he's enlisted John Stamos, Colton Haynes, and Taylor Lautner all to join the cast. His taste in men is hardly awe inspiring, but it is worthy of a GQ shoot. They should all be filling roles as nurses/doctors at the new hospital respectively. The new season is set three years after the Chanel's got thrown in jail. The year is now 2019 and we'll be able to see what the future looks like as soon as September 20th comes around. Set your TV's for 9:00. We'll have a new Scream Queens and we'll know who the president is.
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It's not that I try not to eat meat. It's just what happens in my life. I could never be vegan. Cheese is part of my life. Pizza is the answer.
You also can't eat a burger. The only meat I really indulge in. Steak is not for me. I used to be able to eat it, but now I'm like. How was I so blood thirsty? How was I so carnivorous and testosterone charged that I thought this was a good idea?
Below are all my beautiful fish recipes that I've wanted to share with you. If you were looking for a recipe on how to make goldfish or Swedish fish, you need to go to a store. I don't understand why your being so difficult. Go to Walmart. Save money. Save time. And buy a family sized box of goldfish. There is no reason to be this difficult.
Rum Salmon
6 Salmon Steaks 1 cup of Rum 1 cup of Brown Sugar ½ cup of Salt 1 tablespoon of Pepper Pour the rum over the salmon steaks and let it marinate for 15 minutes at room temperature, drain and pat dry with paper towels. Set aside. Combine the brown sugar, salt, and pepper. Spread 1/3 in a casserole dish, place the salmon steaks on top, and the remaining brown sugar mixture over the salmon. Cover and marinate in the refrigerator for 4 hours. Grill for 4-6 minutes per side. Shrimp Tacos 2 pounds of uncooked Shrimp 3 cloves of minced Garlic 1/3 cup of Lime Juice 3 tablespoon of Lemon Juice Corn Tortillas 1 teaspoon of Chili Powder 1 teaspoon of Cumin ½ teaspoon of Red Pepper Combine the garlic, lime juice, lemon juice, chili powder, cumin, and red pepper. Marinate the shrimp for 10 minutes, turning once. Grill the shrimp. In the meantime heat or fry your tortillas. Serve with sour cream and salsa.
Bake sales are the suburban way of taking back their neighborhoods and getting quick investments of out of old white people. We the gays have propagated that in an attempt to add some rainbow to the world.
I got roped into this event. My cooking skills are lacking, but I said to myself I'll help. Then, it came to the week and it was homecoming. I had events. I had tests. I had things to do. Sleep to catch up on. Then, I got corned late night in the library. Bake something. No one's bringing anything. Through my bleary red eyes I agreed, the good person I am.
There's one part where one of the girls dons a Tina Turner wig and sings her out on the corner of Rodeo Drive singing “It's Cookie Time.” The other girls give her girl group realness and choreographed dancing. Indie rocker, Jenny Lewis is their with her sexy red hair.
The collection of cookies below are tried and true recipes of the good old days that don't come from a plastic wrapper.
RECIPES:
Peanut Butter Cookies 1 ¼ cup of Flour ¾ teaspoon of Baking Soda ¼ teaspoon of Salt ½ cup of Butter ½ cup of Peanut Butter ½ cup of Sugar ½ cup of Brown Sugar 1 Egg ½ teaspoon of Vanilla Extract Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt. Set aside. Cream the butter, peanut butter, sugar, and brown sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the egg and vanilla extract, mixing well. Add the flour mixture, beating until it is well blended. Roll the dough into 1 inch balls, roll them in sugar and place them on an ungreased baking sheet, making a criss cross pattern in each cookie with the tines of a fork. Bake for 10 minutes or until they are light brown. Let cool for 1 minute before removing the cookies to a wire rack to cool.
Butter Cookies
2 ½ cups of Flour ¾ teaspoon of Baking Powder ¼ teaspoon of Salt 1 cup of Butter 2/3 cup of Sugar 1 Egg 1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Combine the flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside. Cream the butter and sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the egg and vanilla extract, mixing well. Add the flour mixture, beating until it is well blended. Bake for 10 minutes or until they are light brown.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
2 ¼ cup of Flour 1 teaspoon of Baking Soda ½ teaspoon of Salt 1 cup of Butter ¾ cup of Sugar ¾ cup of Brown Sugar 2 Eggs 2 teaspoons of Vanilla Extract 2 cups of Chocolate Chips Preheat the oven to 375 degrees Combine the flour, baking soda and salt, mixing well. Set aside. Cream the butter, sugar, and brown sugar until it is light and fluffy. Add the eggs and vanilla extract mixing well. Add the flour mixture, beating until it is well blended. Stir in the chocolate chips mixing well. Drop by the teaspoonful onto an ungreased baking sheet, baking for 9-11 minutes, or until they are golden brown. Remove from the baking sheet to a wire rack immediately.
I personally love Valentine's Day. I always celebrate. I wrote about it last year for this Tasty Tuesday. You can read that here. I bake a cake. I watch a romantic comedy. Alone. It's not as tragic as it sounds. This year I'm going into work. Yeah!!!
Some of us cannot afford to go out. That's why I, your favorite blogger, am giving you a nice three course dinner to prepare for the night. It screams sex and love. Just don't get pregnant or an STD.
That's why I'm surprised I spend as much as I do with this other couple. They're very heterosexual. I'm actually friends with the boyfriend in this relationship and I love that little shit (he's actually taller then me, but that's not the point) like a brother, but if anyone is going to fuck up Valentine's Day it's going to be him.
RECIPES:
Blarney Stones 4 Egg Yolks 1 cup of Sugar 3 tablespoons of Warm Water 1 cup of Flour 1/3 teaspoons of Baking Powder 4 Egg Whites Preheat the oven to 325 degrees Combine all of the ingrdients, mixing well. Pour the batter into a greased baking pan and bake for 25 minutes. NOTE: Nothing screams romance like a bread product called “blarney stones”
Tournedos and Bearnaise Sauce
¼ cup of Tarragon Vinegar ½ cup of Water 2 teaspoon of Tarragon 1 tablespoon of slice Green Onions 3 Egg Yolks ½ cup of Butter 6 Filets of Beef 2 tablespoons of Butter ½ teaspoon of Salt 1/8 teaspoon of Pepper Bearnaise Sauce Combine the tarragon, vinegar, water, and green onion. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Reduce heat, simmer, uncovered, for 8-10 minutes or until the liquid is reduced to ¼ cup. Strain the mixture into the top of a double boiler. With a wire whisk, beat in the egg yolks. Cook over hot, boiling water, beating constantly, until the mixture begins to thicken. Beat in the ½ cup of butter, 1 tablespoon of thyme, beating well after each addition. Keep warm. Add just enough cold water to the hot water in the bottom of the double boiler to make it lukewarm. Filets Brush the filets with 2 tablespoons of butter and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Broil for 5 minutes, turn, and brush with remaining butter, salt, and pepper. Broil for another 5 minutes. Serve with Bearnaise sauce poured over the top. NOTE: Perfect for the carnivorous appetite of your lover.
Mexican Wedding Cake
2 cups of Sugar 2 cups of Flour 2 teaspoons of Baking Soda 20 ounces of crushed Pineapple (Do not drain) 2 Eggs 3 ounces of softened Cream Cheese ¼ cup of Butter 1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract 1-2 cups of Powdered Sugar Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Combine the sugar, flour, baking soda, crushed pineapple, and eggs beating well. Pour the batter into a prepared cake pan, and bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean NOTE: Included in last year's Tasty Tuesday, this is the perfect closer for your meal, so your lover knows what your true intentions are with them.
It brought to mind all of my tic tac memories. I have so many. Not a Christmas goes by with a package of tic tacs in my stocking. And, the Easter basket isn't complete if a complete set of pastel colored tic tacs isn't waiting for my inner child.
Now, this is the premise of the tic tac diet. A diet I take part in. In the morning you eat one tic tac. In the afternoon you eat one tic tac. And at night you think about the two tic tacs you will eat tomorrow. It's a very healthy diet. It's great for you. There's a counting cup. RuPaul endorses it. Me (your favorite blogger) endorses it. And, who doesn't love tic tacs.
I knew of someone who used to only eat the outside of the tic tac. The full 1.9 calories was too much. So, they would suck on it until the candy shell dissolved. I personally think this is how pills should be flavored. Someone please still this idea from me and make it happen.
The company that makes tic tacs are God on earth. They make Ferroro Rocher. The pinnacle of chocolate making. Nutella is also manufactured by them. As much as they care about our waistlines, sometimes I think they don't.
RECIPES:
Tic Tac Pie 1 Baked Eight Inch Pie Crust 2 cups of Instant Chocolate Pudding 2 containers of Tic Tacs Full recipe at Is It Safe? (here)
Tic Tac Drink
1 part Orange Rum 1 Part Triple Sec 1 Part Orange Juice 1 Part Red Bull Full Recipe at Drink Nation (here)
Orange Tic Tac
2 ounces of Mandarin Vodka 2 ounces of Red Bull 3/4 ounce of Orange Juice Full recipe at Food (here)
At our Thanksgiving there is almost always one casserole and I really feel like we might as well file stuffing under the subheading of “casserole” especially if you don't put it in the turkey.
Californians also hate casseroles. Too many calories.
The worst casserole is always the one with the green beans. The green beans are never cooked all the way through. I don't know why people insist on making it. I always avoid it at the buffet line. I'm sure there is some sweet grandmother out there who knows what she's doing, but I'm not interested.
Or as usually is the case. The mother finds the green sludge on top of her bacon bits macaroni red beet casserole and silently cries the tears of motherhood.
RECIPES:
Hamburger Casserole 2 lbs of Ground Beef 1 chopped Onion 14 ounces of Tomato ½ of diced Green Bell Pepper 1 clove of Garlic 2 cans of Niblets Corn 2 packages of Egg Noodles 15 ounces of Colby Jack Cheese Preheat the oven to 300 degrees Brown the ground beef, onion, and green bell pepper. Drain off excess fat. Set aside. Combine the tomatoes and corn, heating them until they are warmed through, about 20 minutes. Mix together the ground beef mixture, tomato mixtures, noodles, and half of the cheese. Pour the mixture into a baking dish and sprinkle it with the remaining cheese. Bake just until the cheese melts, 10-15 minutes. Chicken Noodle Casseroles 1 stick of Butter 1/3 cup of Flour 1 cup of Milk 2 cups of Chicken Broth 1 ½ teaspoon of Salt ½ teaspoon of Pepper 3 ounces of sliced Mushroom 1 cups of diced Rotisserie Chicken 8 ounces of Noodles 1/3 cup of Parmesan Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Melt the butter, and then whisk in the flour to make a roux. Gradually whisk in the milk, whisk in the chicken broth, stirring until it has thickened. Stir in the salt, pepper, and mushrooms. Add the chicken, noodles, and Parmesan cheese, stirring to combine. Pour the mixture into a prepare baking dish, cover, and bake for 45 minutes, or until bubbly and golden.
Baked Pastina Casseroles
1 cup of small Pasta 2 tablespoons of Olive Oil ½ cup of Chicken Breasts 1 clove of Garlic 14 ounces of chopped Tomatoes 1 cup of Mozzarella ¼ cup of fresh Parsley ¼ teaspoon of Salt ¼ teaspoon of Pepper ¼ cup of Bread Crumbs ¼ cup of Parmesan 1 tablespoon of Butter Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Saute the chicken in the olive oil for 3 minutes. Add the onion and garlic, stirring to combine, and cooking for another 5 minutes. Remove the skillet from the heat and combine the mixture with the pasta. Add the tomatoes, mozzarella cheese, parsley, salt, and pepper, stirring to combine. Pour the mixture into a buttered baking dish and set aside. Combine the bread crumbs and parmesan cheese, sprinkling over the pasta. Dot it with butter and baking until it is golden, about 30 minutes.
The twins ask me if I want to go see A Tuna Christmas. Sure, I have projects to do. Reading to catch up on. Blog work to do, but I say to myself. Live a little. Go see this play about tuna. More importantly write about this play with tuna. Like manna from heaven, God has sent this upon you, so you have something to write about.
A Tuna Christmas is the second in a four part installment of Tuna wonderfulness. The first is Greater Tuna. The third is the patriotic Red, White, and Tuna. And, the most important: Tuna Does Vegas.
The play was glorious and funny. The set was simplistic, we got in by proffering tuna after all. The play is full of eccentric characters. After all, A Tuna Christmas is set in the fictional town of Tuna, Texas. The third smallest town in Texas.
Now for your eating pleasure, I have done some research on the “tuna”. I put in “disgusting tuna recipes”. I don't believe there's such a thing as “delicious tuna recipes”, but below are some of the most beautiful recipes I've ever stumbled upon in my life.
Tuna yourself up. Swim upstream. Throw up in your blender and just add tuna.
RECIPES:
Ring-Around-the-Tuna 1 package of Jell-O Lime 1/4 teaspoon of Salt 1 cup of Boiling Water 3/4 cup of Cold Water 2 tablespoons of Vinegar 2 teaspoons of Grated Onion 1/2 cup of Cucumber 1/2 cup of Celery 2 tablespoons of Pimiento 2 tablespoons of Olives 1 can of Tuna How delicious. Full recipe at Lakehouse Publishing
Trudy's Tuna Noodle Casserole
1 can of Mushroom Soup 1/2 pound of Noodles 1/2 can of French Fried Onion Rings 7 ounce can of Tuna 1 package of Peas Cornflake Crumbs This recipe makes me say "God is real" Full recipe at Tastebook
The Virile Mary Tuna Shake
1 can of White Tuna 2 1/2 cups of V-8 Juice 1 teaspoon of Extra Virgin Oil 2 tablespoon of Lemon Juice Habanero Pepper Sauce The drink that everyone wants a second of. Full recipe at Deep Squatter
For this to work we would need a cultural shift that allows people to understand that vegetables can be a fulfilling meal by themselves. Starting at the top tier of restaurants is a good place to start. These chef's can experiment on customers who are willing to be experimented on. At some point the easily mass produced counterparts these restaurants make up will trickle down to us.
I could eat a plant based diet or at least one that heavily restricts meat. The only time I really eat meat is when I'm with parents or I go out. If I'm cooking for myself I rarely make meat. Essentially, I'm a vegetarian at heart.
I've included some recipes that do not have a single meat in them. I don't know if they'll convince you to give up that quarter pounder with cheese, but I think it's interesting change of pace. This concept of making vegetables the focus.
I'm surprised someone hasn't said that vegetables are ruining America.
RECIPES:
Asparagus Pie 1 Pie Shell ½ pound of Gruyere 2 tablespoons of Butter 10 ounces of Asparagus 3 Eggs 1 cup of Heavy Cream Salt Pepper Nutmeg Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place the pie shell in a prepared pie plate. Spread the gruyere cheese on the crust and top with asparagus. Mix together the eggs, heavy cream, salt, pepper, and nutmeg. Pour it over the asparagus and bake it for 25-30 minutes or until the custard is set.
Carmelized Onion & Red Pepper Penne
3 tablespoons of Olive Oil 3 Onions ¾ teaspoons of Brown Sugar 2 Chicken Breasts 6 cloves of Garlic 2 tablespoons of Thyme 2 Red Bell Peppers 1/8 teaspoon of Red Pepper Flakes 2 teaspoons of Flour 2 cups of Vegetable Broth ½ of Parmesan Cheese 12 ounces of Penne ½ cup of Basil Brown the onion and brown sugar in 1 tablespoon of the olive oil until the onion carmelizes, about 20-25 minutes. Stir in the red bell peppers, cooking until they are softened, about 5 minutes. Transfer the vegetables to a bowl. Add a tablespoon of the olive oil to the skillet. Stir the garlic, thyme, and red pepper flakes, stirring until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add the chicken, cooking until it is lightly browned, about 3 minutes. Transfer to the bowl with the vegetables. Add the remaining tablespoon of olive oil to the skillet. Stir in the flour, mixing well. Whisk in the chicken broth, cooking until it has thickened. Return the chicken and the vegetables to the skillet. Add the Parmesan cheese, and mix well. Add the penne and basil, stirring to mix. |
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