My subscription to Vogue is the only reason I live. I'm assuming you have seen supermodel Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift on the cover of this month's issue of Vogue. It is everything. You know the two of them are best friends and they share an apartment in New York City.
You may or may not remember that the two of them were also seen kissing. Now I personally love the possibility of Taylor Swift dating a woman. At the same time it doesn't mean anything. Girls kiss each other and it's normal. Boys kiss each other and it's very gay. What probably happened was Taylor had a few drinks and she said kiss me slut. That's how I make out with all my friends.
Now Vogue may have an article on food, but it is not a Tasty Tuesday the way I do a Tasty Tuesday. They talk about food and kind of just hint at recipes. I think it's because Vogue no one knows reading Vogue actually wants to cook anything. I read everything in Vogue. I don't have a subscription to a magazine just to look at the advertisements. |
As Vogue has no recipes. The recipes I give you will be related to the topic at hand, but not directly from the reading itself. One article I wanted to talk about was one on how to cook with marijuana. It was interesting and it essentially talked about how to use marijuana as a spice. That must have been in the September issue. I love you all, but I was not hunting through 856 pages of high gloss to find an article for you.
Another consisted of a woman who hated dessert making the hardest dessert known to man that is super flaky and super hard to make that is called mille-feuille. It was a mess. Even if there was a recipe I would not give it to you. If I remember correctly it took like three days to make this bitch. Not worth the effort.
I was super excited for this article by Jeffrey Steingarten (the same bitch who went on for three pages about an iron skillet). It was called “Dairy Queen”. I was like yassss bitch. Eat that ice cream. It is not about ice cream. It is about yogurt and how we will kill the planet if we don't figure out what to do with the leftover byproduct that results from making yogurt. It was great. As a response to the argument that you might want to eat less yogurt, I give you a recipe on how to make yogurt.
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There was another one called “Land of Plenty” and it was interesting to a point. It was talking about the pervasiveness of Israelian culture and it's influences and how it's influencing food. However, three pages later, I did not care.
The first article I will be giving you a recipe for is called “Raw Power” and it's all about steak tartare. The raw French delicacy. Please don't kill yourself. I have to have someone read this blog. |
The final tantamount of journalism was an article entitled “Hop To It” that you guessed it is on how to cook and eat rabbit. Apparently it's a great idea for the future. Vogue endorses fur and bunny genoicide.
I guess what I'm trying to say is subscribe to Vogue.
Inspired by the Vogue article “Raw Power”
Steak Tartare
2 Anchovy Fillets
2 Cloves of peeled and rushed Garlic
1 teaspoon of Capers
1 Egg
2 tablespoons of Dijon Mustard
Salt
Freshly ground Black Pepper
1/4 cup Olive Oil
1 pound of freshly ground Beef Tenderloin
1/4 cup minced Shallots
4 tablespoons of chopped Egg Whites
4 tablespoons chopped Egg Yolks
4 tablespoons of Red Onions
4 tablespoons of finely chopped fresh Parsley
8 slices of White Bread, crust removed, tossed in olive oil, seasoned with salt and pepper and toasted
In a small wooden mixing bowl, combine the anchovy, capers and garlic. Using the back of a fork, crush the two and form a paste. Add the egg and mustard. Whisk well. Season with salt, pepper and Worcestershire sauce. Whisk in the oil, to form an emulsion. In a cold mixing bowl, combine the tenderloin and shallots. Season with salt and pepper. Add the emulsion and mix well. Form the tartare into 4 ounce rounds, about 1-inch thick. Place in the center of four cold plates. Garnish each with traditional garnishes. Serve with toast points.
Fresh Yogurt
1 quart of 2% Milk
1/2 cup of Powdered Milk
1 to 2 tablespoons Honey
1/2 cup or room temperature Plain Yogurt
Pour the milk into a small saucepan and whisk in the powdered milk and honey. Place over medium heat and bring to 120 degrees F on an instant-read thermometer. Once the milk has reached has reached the target temperature, pour it into a cylindrical plastic container, reserving 1/2 cup. Whisk the reserved milk into the yogurt and add it back to the milk mixture.
Place the container into a narrow wine bucket lined with a heating pad. Set the heating pad to medium. Let the mixture ferment for 3 to 12 hours, making sure the temperature stays as close to 115 degrees F as possible.
After the fermentation is complete, refrigerate overnight.
Pear Butter
½ cup of Butter
2 tablespoons of pureed Pear Preserves
½ teaspoon of finely chopped Rosemary
Mix the butter, pear preserves, and rosemary together until combined.
Beer Basted Rabbit
3 pounds of Rabbit (Good luck finding it)
2 tablespoons of Garlic Salt
2 twelve fluid ounces of Beer
Preheat grill to medium high and lightly oil grate.
Place rabbit meat on heated grill and season with garlic salt. Pour beer into a medium bowl. Let meat cook 15 minutes, then start basting with beer every 10 minutes until done, about 30 minutes.