Category: Monday

Malibu

5/15/2017

Key Lyric: I always thought I would sink, so I never swam 

Miley Cyrus has finally debuted her follow up to Bangerz. The era that defined the “real” Miley Cyrus without the trappings of Hannah Montana. New single “Malibu” may come slightly left field, but anyone watching her progression into a softer image shouldn't be that surprised.

The song is more stripped down then previous efforts. Still, Malibu isn't sonically a far cry away from “Adore You”. It seems the natural follow up that Colbie Caillat could use in her arsenal. The song is light breezy and strikingly apolitical. If anything it seems focused on addressing her rekindled love for Liam Hemsworth.

The music video finds similar themes. Miley is in stripped down beauty. There's nothing shocking here. The song succeeds in translating genuine happiness. It's singer-songwriter, it's confessional, but it's very much Miley Cyrus.

Buy "Malibu"

I'm Not Afraid

8/15/2016

2016's breakout supernatural comedy hit Ghostbusters was packed with projectile vomiting ghouls, four amazing lead women, and a soundtrack to die for. And, who knew Chris Hemsworth was funny?

The album features new music from Zayn. He delivers an easy slice of easy listening with “wHo”. After all who are you going to call when your all alone? Elle King stomps in with her hell raising “Good Girls” and there's enough versions of “Ghostbuster” to make anyone happy. Walk The Moon, Pentatonix, and the original by Ray Parker Jr. all make appearances.

The most inventive of these new additions is the Fall Out Boy/Missy Elliot collaboration, “Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid)”. It blends their rock n roll inclinations with Missy's flow for one of the most explosive reimaginations. Expect one of these songs to light up radio this year, especially with the movie's continued successs.

Buy "Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid)"

Finding Prince Charming

8/1/2016

Logo has announced it's plans to enter the world of Reality Dating after green lighting a new show called Finding Prince Charming.

It's a spin on the eternal classic ABC hit The Bachelor and it's spin off The Bachelorette. 13 lucky gays will be picked to find their Prince Charming. They will all have washboard abs, $100 haircuts, and at least one pair of Gucci loafers at home.

Logo has attempted to make mainstream programming gay before. See the Throwback Thursday on The A-List New York (read here) that was billed as “the housewives with balls”. The most successful original programming they've managed to maintain is their trademark RuPaul's Drag Race. The only reason anyone truly subscribes.

This isn't the first time there's been a gay dating show. Does anyone remember Bravo's Boy Meets Boy? It was six glorious episodes of gay and straight men trying to win the affection of their suitor. The gays for true love and the straights for $25,000. It was all perfectly innocuous if slightly off putting.

At the moment the market is flooded with dating shows. Fox has Coupled that has a nice mix of representation, compared to the white washing of The Bachelor. VH1 has Dating Naked. Yikes. TLC is airing a new show called Love At First Kiss. The contestants walk in without a word and try to see if there's chemistry. It's all very straight forward and heterosexuals being weird. And, I'm sure there's some I've missed.

It will be interesting to see what Logo does to make Finding Prince Charming stand out. Will the gays fall in love with their other housemates? I would. Is there going to be diversity? As great as pool parties and thongs are I don't need 13 men in flannel vying for a man with similar taste in fashion and a jock body.

We don't need the gay Bachelor on Logo. I want a cast that reflects the diversity of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Undoubtedly season one will feature a corporate white gay that hits the gym before he goes in to work at eight. Logo will be playing for demographics and certainly the decision to cast Lance Bass as the host plays into that.

He's everyone's favorite gay boy band member. And we were all disappointed when it wasn't Justin Timberlake instead. I've never really warmed up to him, but maybe Finding Prince Charming will be what I need to turn that around.

I'm holding out hope that we'll have a celebrity bachelor. Steve Grand would certainly play into the trademark white gay look and who doesn't love an openly gay country singer. They could always pull from past reality stars. Reichen Lehmkuhl would be perfect. He was on The A-List New York, The Amazing Race, AND he dated Lance Bass. Talk about drama.

Steve Grand

Reichen Lehmkuhl

The show is expected to air at some point this Fall with eight episodes.

Nothing's Real

7/18/2016

There's nothing that screams talent and passion like “London based singer/songwriter”, it's a phrase you'll find on any website describing Shura. A pop star for the 2010's who defiantly breaks and embraces the mold of what it is to be a female singer.

Shura does not have the cheerleader body of Katy Perry or the voice of Celine Dion, but much like Jewel her charm comes from her personal musings. She has a hand in writing every song off of her new album Nothing's Real.

Most of the songs play with being on the brink of love and not quite getting there. Her attention gathering song “Touch” finds her running into a past lover and seeing the love but recognizing that something's changed. They can't be what they were.

“Touch” was released almost two years ago, but just as recently as February found itself given the video treatment with some extra verses from rapper Talib Kweli. It's jarring to find him parring off against, Shura's light breathy vocals. That's possibly the reason that version was left off the album, but it shows a record labels well defined need for a radio hit.

Buy "Touch"

The well versed “2 Shy” deals with youth and friendship and a want for something more, but the fear of anything changing. It's blissful and sweet and it's no surprise it was chosen as a single from the album.

Buy "2Shy"

Nothing's Real finds her not only writing, but producing on the album along with the help of Joel Pott most well known for his work with the band Athlete. Greg Kurstin also stops by for a few tracks. He's the man who helped Adele break records with “Hello”. He's worked with a host of other pop stars, but most notably Tegan and Sara in regards to Shura.

The eighties synthpop Shura has achieved runs consistent with everyone's favorite lesbian duo. It's the easy to hear bright eighties synthpop influence of Heartthrob and Love You To Death. Albums that helped inspire Taylor Swift's 1989.

It's no surprise then that you can find Shura opening for Tegan and Sara when they tour North America this year. Her music will coincide with what their fans already listen to.

The album standout is “What's It Gonna Be?” The same questions are asked. Do I tell I love you? If you say no let me down gently. The song itself never answers the questions, but that's what we have music videos for. It has a high school setting. It plays with our heteronormative values. Shura and her best friend find love. Her with the beautifully intelligent girl in Chemistry and him with the preppy boy with the good hair on the sports team.

Buy "What's It Gonna Be?"

Shura doesn't play the sad lesbian and she doesn't envelope the melancholy that is so trademark of Troye Sivan's releases. Instead she gives us music about being young and gay and in love. Nothing's Real is truly heartwarming break from the norm.

The album has not found a physical release for the CD or vinyl in the United States, but you can always order it online or purchases a digital copy.

#NeverTrump

Buy Nothing's Real

June: The Month of Sequels

5/23/2016

The movie theater this June appears to be full of sequels. Films from every kind of genre are putting in their two cents for a franchise reboot. Sequels are known as being the lesser of two evils, but they've already started summer off well with the return of R rated comedy Neighbors 2 returned with Zac Efron, Rose Byrne, and Zac Galifinakis heading off against the sorority queen Sophie Grace Moretz.

I saw the original Neighbors on the day of my graduation instead of crossing the stage. It was well worth my absence. The only reason you have to not be in the theaters this June is if you have a social life.

Now You See Me 2
June 10th
Follow up to the 2013 heist caper full of magicians, stunts, and realistic death scenes, the four horsemen return in order to expose the unethical practices of a tech magnate. It's all very 21st century Robin Hood of them, we'll have Dave Franco there (without his naked ass) and Morgan Freeman all in an hour and a half of mind bending manipulation that's sure to be worth the thrill of spending $8.25 for a ticket.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2
June 3rd
Who needs to see Civil War when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are coming out of the sewer to save the world? The plot is not important. Megan Fox is returning in a CGI fight fest full of PG-13 comedy and lewd humor. There's nothing better than the summertime to bring you inconsequential movies that will never win an Academy Award.

The Conjuring 2
June 10th
The Warrens are back to investigate a poltergeist in England. It was time to move the franchise across the sea. The original Conjuring was one of those rare breeds of movies that was not only elastically creepy, but also critically appreciated. Sure to build off the old fashioned scares of the last film, there won't be a better movie to get your lover's heart racing.

Finding Dory
June 17th
Ellen Degeneres is back. Our childhood has finally returned. It's been 13 years, since we found Nemo, and there all back. Albert Brooks is back as the domineering voice of Marlin, the well intentioned, over protective father of Nemo. And, we have some newcomers. Off the shore of California living in beautiful Morro Bay are Dory's parents.

This glorious movie is set six months after the conclusion of the last film and Dory has her memory back. She knows that Diane Keaton is her mother and she knows who her father is. So, not only is everyone else looking for Dory, but Dory is finding Dory. It's a messy movie of animation that's sure to break our hearts and make everyone cry. I'm going to be there the Friday it comes out and fuck and child that tries to get in my way. I will bury them. They haven't been waiting as long as I have.

Gay For Play

4/25/2016

RuPaul is keeping himself busy with the continued success of underground pop culture phenomenon RuPaul’s Drag Race, a new album playfully titled Butch Queen, his judging role on Skin Wars that airs on GSN, and another game show.

Logo needed a new show to fill their empty time slots and RuPaul pitched them the perfect idea. Gay For Play. The only game show designed to make America gay again.

I guess we’re not getting a half hour of Snatch Game anytime soon.

Let me tell you something, researching this project at work was tiresome. They gave me Bing as a default browser and when I said Gay For Play they thought Gay For Pay. And, I’m down for NSFW images anytime of the day, but that was not what I wanted in my life.

The title of the show is a direct reference to the concept of “gay for pay”. It’s only funny if you get the joke. Porn is infamous for having a string of actors who identify as straight, but will fuck just about anyone for the money. Which, is how it should be.

RuPaul will be hosting the gay extravaganza that pits two contestants against each other in order to find out who the best gay is.

The show revolves around specifically gay subject matter. It will be an education for all the young LGBT+ members who might have missed out their gay education. And, it will be a chance for the contestants to show their true colors.

The contestants can be helped by six of the panelists. Who may or may not know what their talking about. Michelle Visage is going to be there and most importantly her breasts will be there. Carson Kresley from Project Runway fame will be there as will Ross Matthews known for his stint on Chelsea Lately along with youtuber Todrick Hall.

They’re all funny and perfectly informed to mislead the contestants at will.

RuPaul has talked about how gay culture is so often appropriated by mainstream culture with no recognition of its roots. The popular Lip Sync Battle was ripped straight from drag culture. There’s a reason that the time always comes for two queens to, “Lip sync… for your life.” It’s an intrinsic part of gay culture and the best part is that the show is cohosted by known homophobe LL Cool J.

Gay For Play is a show that no heterosexual could ever create by themselves. It’s gays taking gay culture and deep throating through the TV screen.

The show is funny as hell and it airs every Monday night at 10 pm eastern on Logo. The only TV channel that matters.

The Return of Catwalks and Catfights

4/11/2016

Not too long I wrote a Throwback Thursday (read here) discussing the rise, the demise, and subsequent cancellation of the long running, 22 Cycles of America’s Next Top Model. The Tyra Banks love child of big foreheads and outrageous fashion.

Surprise of all surprises came when it got renewed.

Not on a major network like the CW. But, picked up by VH1. The subpar imitator of MTV, although it does have one of my favorite shows Candidly Nicole. Hosted by the one and only Nicole Richie. Legendary daughter of superstar Lionel Richie and co-conspirator with Paris Hilton on The Simple Life.

ANTM will be appearing for a 23rd cycle and a 14 episode return to the hunt for America’s! Next! Top! Model!*

*without Tyra Banks

The namesake visionary behind the show and Victoria’s Secrets angel, Tyra Banks will not be returning. She has too much smizing to do and a new makeup company to run.

There are a lot of questions that still remain. Who will be returning to host? Miss J Alexander? Twiggy? Leon Talley? Jay Emmanuel? Or will Tyra wipe the slate clean and start all over again with a ladder next to the judging panel (or was that RuPaul’s Drag Race?)

Finding the new TV personality to yell at Tiffany “that we were all rooting for her” will be hard to find. I say steal a guest judge from RuPaul’s Drag Race. Nicole Richie. Amber Riley. Or maybe start in the America’s Next Top Model family and pick sexy hunk of deafness Nyle Dimarco to run the show.

Although, if we’re picking a contestant from last season, I think Bello would a little bit of good crazy TV drama. Or how about that guy that hit someone in cycle 21?

We might just go for a new supermodel. No one’s heard from Kate Upton since she had her cleavage out on the cover of Sport’s Illustrated. And, I think she’s the easy, breezy, sort of, say it like you mean it, American blonde bombshell that could spice up the competition.

No matter who it is. I will be watching

There’s a strong possibility that the quality will dip. America’s Next Top Model is a staple in my wheel house of reality TV and I’m glad it’s back. We’ll have girls in lingerie, getting in fights in hotels, and walking on tightrope runways.

There’s no set date for when the new season will come out, but I’ll be sure to update you. We’ll see how bad the ratings dip. Who knows. America’s Next Top Model might be the fashion machine that never runs out of thread.

A Shot of Brandy

3/28/2016

R&B has multiplatinum recording star Brandy and country music has it's singer songwriter, Brandy Clark. A brunette haired powerhouse in Nashville.

She's almost forty, and she's ready to launch her own solo career, hoping that the country music scene is more friendly to female singers, then it was when she released her debut album 12 Stories in 2013. It achieved critical acclaim, but not commercial success. Selling under 50,000 copies with not a hit to mark the tracklist.

Brandy Clark has written for some of the biggest names in country music. Reba, LeAnn Rimes, The Band Perry, Darius Rucker, Kacey Musgraves, and even Sheryl Crow when she took a turn to country music with her Feels Like Home album.

She's behind one of my personal favorite, Miranda hits “Mama's Broken Heart” and the Band Perry smash “Better Dig Two”.

She will be releasing her follow up to 2013's 12 Stories with Big Day In A Small Town on June 10tt. An equally charming ode to small town life. It's meant to be a cohesive concept album with interwoven dialogue to give the album a narrative story.

The album is hoping to achieve a sizable hit with lead single “Girl Next Door”. A song that plays with the Americana tropes that country music relies on, except Brandy Clark isn't the girl next door. The song has a pounding chorus. She's not a “virgin Mary” or a “Barbie doll” and if her suitor wants a girl next door she can go “next door and go right now.”

The song has received positive critical acclaim and received public support from Sheryl Crow, who has also called for an end to bro country.

.@TheBrandyClark I love your new song #GirlNextDoor!
— Sheryl Crow (@SherylCrow) March 6, 2016

Brandy Clark is a winner of a Country Music Award winner and she was robbed of a Grammy when she was nominated with Kacey Musgraves and Shane McAnally for “Follow Your Arrow”. An uplifting country anthem about doing what makes you happy. Whether that's kissing lots of boys or girls or choosing not to roll up a joint.

It's a difficult time at country radio for female artists, and despite positive expectations for “Girl Next Door” from producer Jay Joyce, music director of WUSN in Chicago, Marci Braun, iHeart Media programmer Gator Harrison, among others, nothing's a sure hit until it happens.

Conservative country radio listeners may also not appreciate that Brandy Clark is an open lesbian, even though “Girl Next Door” makes no direct reference to this. It may skewer some listeners from her. Melissa Etheridge is the only gay artist to have had continued success in country music even after she came out.

Buy "Girl Next Door"

Brandy Clark's music is a refreshing change of pace to what country music has been saturated with and hopefully Big Day In A Small Town shifts a change in taste.

March Music 2016

2/29/2016

After an eventful January and February, March seems unlikely to match the set of high profile oddball releases. I'm not even sure The Life of Pablo is even finished and the noncommercial Anti already produced a number one, repetitive Caribbean flared banger with “Work”. February saw the massive uprising in the #FreeKesha movement. You can sign that petition here.

As of the time this article was written there is no date for Fergie's as of yet untitled and long delayed second studio album. It's rumored to be called Double Dutchess and is due to be released at the end of March. Celine Dion was supposed to have a French album released this month, but after the familial tragedy that struck it remains unseen whether the star will pass on that baton.

This Is What The Truth Feels Like
Gwen Stefani
March 18th
No Doubt front woman, Gwen Stefani is about to drop the most intense break up albums on the world has ever seen when she releases third studio set This Is What The Truth Feels Like this March. Scrapping previous singles “Baby Don't Lie” and “Spark The Fire” for new heartfelt material, the album is reported to be deeply personal. Gwen is currently going through a divorce with Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale who cheated on her with the nanny.

Lead single “Used To Love You” is a bombastic return to the form and the fluttery second single “Make Me Like You” assures us that the album isn't entirely built on tears. Gwen is also be touching on her budding romance with country superstar Blake Shelton, who according to Gwen is only her second boyfriend. “Make Me Like You” also marked the first live music video to ever be aired on the Grammy's with all it's colors and car crashes.

Buy"Make Me Like You"

Mind of Mine
Zayn
March 25th
One Direction star, Zayn Malik's first studio set as a solo artist is set for a release near the end of this month under RCA. A flagship of rape supporting Sony music. It's lead single “Pillowtalk” already launched onto the top of the charts in multiple countries.

Your favorite blogger will not be buying this album, but I will certainly be listening. “Pillowtalk” is sexy and slinky, but this faux R&B pop star hasn't released an inescapable banger yet. I also sincerely hope that this music video he released was his idea of “artistic vision”. He looked much like a lost boy amongst the naked embrace of his female costars.

The album cover is hardly original. Zayn's claims that it has no ties to Lil Wayne seems arbitrary and unbelievable considering that the similarly covered Tha Carter III launched with over 1,000,000 copies sold in it's first week in the United States. Zayn is building his career on originality and I'm not sure I believe he's anything more then a contrived pop star with a goal to impress us with his individuality.

We shall see.

Buy"Pillowtalk"

How To Be Single

2/1/2016

How To Be Single a perfect guide for all the lonely hopefuls during the Valentines Day season. The most important romantic comedy to come out in years. It has my seal approval. It has it all. Including a release date two days before Valentines Day 2016.

This movie is the romantic comedy to end all romantic comedy. It's been produced by none other then rom com Queen, Drew Barrymore. The light hearted, America's sweetheart on the screen for 50 First Dates, He's Just Not That Into You, and my personal favorite Music and Lyrics. The only thing that could make it better is to have her in a starring role.

Fortunately we have a stream lined cast to keep our expectations up.

We have the single lonely girl played by Dakota Johnston. She was born a star from the help of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith. Her mother is still beautiful by the way. Dakota might be a little boring, but we have time to work that out of her. She seems picture perfect to play this role especially after scandalizing us in 50 Shades of Grey of franchise. Her mother refuses to watch them.

Rebel Wilson

Leslie Mann

We've got our funny girls to round out our cast. Rebel Wilson is clearly the wild, fun, Australian part of the group. She's the one trying to get Dakota Johnson's character back out into the dating world. Tragically she's just suffered a serious break up. Sure to be a major plot point in the film.

Leslie Mann is also there. She's always a highlight no matter what film she's in. Be it Knocked Up or when her and Nicki Minaj saved The Other Woman with the help of Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton. I'm not sure what her context will be. Is she the older friend? The wizened mentor? Who knows. She'll be funny.

There's also a string of hunky males in the film. None of them have the perfect six pack, but we'll have to make do.

The two I saw in the trailer are supposed to be are white candy. Neither of them are too sweet. Jake Lacy is going to be there. He's fine. I've never seen him before. Ander Holm is also in it. I only know him as the pastor that Mindy Kaling dates in The Mindy Project. I'm sure he's a fine actor. I will make my judgement on the movie screen .

Jake Lacy

Ander Holm

Damon Wayan is also in it. The junior one. I think he cute. I have no idea what his role is, but he's bound to be funny. If the writers don't let us down this movie will be amazing.

Damon Wayan Jr.

We all know the plot of this movie. Dakota Johnson is trying to come to terms with being single and realizing what she really needed in the end was the right man. I'm sure her and Leslie Mann and Rebel Wilson will all end up at some wedding with their respective beaus. I would love for this movie to say “fuck love” but the hopeless romantic inside of me is not about this life.

The movie comes out on February 12th. A Friday. Two days before the big day. It's based off a book by Liz Tuccillo, so this gives you time to prepare before you go out with your girls and your boys and have a night out being sad and alone.