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The end of May, and the end of finals, promises the call of bloodshed. MTV's Scream is back and ready to rip the throats out of unsuspecting Lakewood residents.
It's been called the low quality Scream Queens. It's been ridiculed. Critically panned and yet here we are for a second season. I personally am ready to be murdered. Sometimes you just need some low quality entertainment to spice up your life. It's scary but not scary. I can still go to sleep at night and that's what truly matters. All the cast from the prior season is returning for even more knife wielding action. After all, we still haven't caught all the killers. |
Things are ramping up. We know from last season that there was at least a second killer. This is what happens when you wear a mask. Anyone can put it on and rip someone aorta out and blame your crime spree on it. It's unfair. Last season's killer, Piper Shaw got shot in the head from the help of everyone's favorite lesbian Audrey Jensen, who also happened to be seen burning incriminating letters.
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First of all Audrey. Who the fuck writes each other letters in the 21st century. Get your shit together. No one is calling from inside the house. We all have fucking cell phones.
Noah is investigating this second killer. He's obsessed with serial killers and I believe he will continue to survive until this show is inevitably canceled. He's everyone's favorite geek next door and I'm almost positive he's taking over the podcast on murder run by everyone's favorite Piper Shaw, but we'll have to wait for that. |
Brooke and Jake are finally together. It's time. Brooke is everyone's favorite popular dumb blonde slut. I thought for sure they were going to slice her in that refrigerator last season, but here we are. Jake is just stupid, but he's sweet. Kind of. Brooke is played by Carlson Young. A goddess of beauty and grace and if she ends up being the killer this season I expect her to get away with it.
Emma is the show's central and most boring figure. This season she'll be returning from therapy, but of course she won't be recovered. Like get over it Emma. Sure you saw your boyfriend sliced in half by farm machinery. Sure you watched the Sherrif's intestines fall out. Get over it. It's not that traumatic.
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We have new characters and it's all blah, blah, blah. There's a new sheriff in town, but is he who he pretends to be? He's just the boy next door, but does he have a dark secret motive? Like we get it. They're all suspicious you can't trust any of them.
Realistically all the fresh young blood is not here so we have a deep personal connection. They're here so we can watch their heads get chopped off while Brooke and Jake have sex in the back of his pick up truck. In exciting news we finally have some non-white entities on set. Last season all we had was Riley and the killer daggered her up by episode three. This season promises us a slight increase in diversity with a new Sheriff played by Anthony Ruivivar and the new girl overachiever with a dark secret played by Kiana Brown Be sure to catch Scream when it returns to MTV on Tuesday, May 30th. |
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