There's a song by Marina and the Diamonds called “How To Be A Heartbreaker”. The goal of this post is not as ambitious as that song, nor does it feature a slew of shirtless men (although it should). Instead it's a bitter diatribe of a college student writing after midnight.
I was just trying to sleep, unable to focus on anything appropriate and I was just thinking about how you should be treated.
- You need to value yourself and expect people not to treat you poorly. I think that might be surprising way to be a heartbreaker, but not letting someone walk over you is important. Standing up for yourself.
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I think “love” makes us do stupid things. We don't value ourselves the way we should. I think it's so important to always put yourself first. You need to do what's best for you. And, if that makes you a bitch. That's fine.
This does not mean you won't lose people. You always have to value and respect other people if you want to keep them in your life, but taking care of yourself always comes above someone else. That might be selfish and a self centered way to approach life. I'm a millennial and a credit to my generation. |
2. Never date someone who is significantly older then you when your older. I think it's one of the worst ways to set yourself up for emotional manipulation.
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Once you get older this becomes less of a problem. But, a 22 year old dating an 18 year old. That's problematic. A high schooler versus a college graduate. The older individual will take advantage of the younger person no matter if they intend to do it or not. Their only 22. They are not “mature”. They're still figuring their life out. It's literally the plot of Friends.
A young person does not have the emotional or mental capabilities or the experience to fight someone on this ground. Do NOT listen to an older individual who says “your so mature for your age”. It's the oldest trick in the book. Age gaps become significantly less important as you get older. But, teenagers, young twenty somethings. You are not “ageist” for being uncomfortable in not wanting to date someone older. You might want to, but I beg of you not to. Your only going to get hurt and I don't know you personally, but I care. And, you don't deserve that kind of emotional burden at this age. |
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3. Lastly do not spend time with people who do not make time for you or/and invalidate how you feel.
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These are so important. If you bring up a problem and someone consistently invalidates how you feel or rejects how you feel drop them. And, do not chase people who don't want to be with you and make no effort to see you. Friendship, love, it's all a two way street, and it should be reciprocated to some extent. Whatever that is.
I think what I'm trying to say, is value yourself, and who you are, and realize that you deserve someone who treats you correctly. And, it's time to drop anyone who doesn't show you their capable of doing this. |
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