Category: Park

Neck Pains & Blackouts

8/17/2016

It was an eventful span of three days for me.

I hurt my neck. I woke up and I was in so much pain. I'm guessing it was a result of all my headbanging to Avril Lavigne, but no one knows for sure. Still, my mother's car was broken, so she wanted to hang out and who better to drive her around then her favorite live in child?

We went to this coffee shop downtown. It was very good and I even parallel parked on a busy street. I'm amazing. My neck was not feeling my usual exorcist mentality, but still I persevered and took that parking spot like the blonde bitch I am.

Three (four? six?) days later I ran my car battery down at work. Now I know how to jump a car, I have run my battery down many times before. I even had the assistance of Sacajawea. You know your best friends when someone willingly get's their extensions wet to help you jumpstart your car. It was thundering and dark outside, so we may have required the assistance of everyone's favorite country boy, but besides that we are strong independent individuals. Basically.

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Road Trip! (Part Two)

9/9/2015

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The Mayor

Miss Sara Bellum

August 12th
7:30 am

This morning I was getting dressed for the day and I couldn't figure out why I have four more outfits for the next two days. I also have five pairs of shoes for a four day trip, but not even that merciless shower head could beat the answer into me.

In other news I sleep deprived myself just enough that I wasn't kept up by the air conditioning unit. Ready for today.

5:13 pm

Today's itinerary started off really well. We couldn't find the cemetery or more accurately google maps couldn't find it. It dropped us off near this very dated fifties suburban community. All the inhabitants were octogenerians. I assumed they lived close to the cemetery for a shorter commute when they had a heart attack. Somewhere along the way we realized Davy Lane was not where our beloved cemetery was. We had hoped to gain cultural knowledge and most importantly take aesthetic pictures.

We gave up and settled on our next stop. The Outlet Mall. We got there at 9:30. It didn't open until 10:00. Our options were clear. Find somewhere else to spend our time. Google did not fail us this time. We settled on a coffee shop in St. Charles. It had Picasso in the title. It seemed quaint. I was the only one who got coffee. It was called Black Forrest and was supposed to taste of cherry's. It served it's purpose about as well as Boomer likes modern art (he's not a fan).

St. Charles was an amazing detour in our plans. Apparently it hosts one of the largest craft fairs in the country. We spent our time on Main Street. Went in a few of the shops. Our favorite was April's. It was an eclectic hodge podge of ceramic items. Decorations. The shop was run by these three women.

One was this fiery redhead. Her personality reminded me of Julia Robert's in Runaway Bride. One of the men who worked there was getting married on Halloween to his partner and the wedding was appropriately themed. It was life goals if I wasn't a justice of the peace kind of gay.

We actually bought something. Usually boutique shopping involves a lot of browsing. We did that. But, this store was within three college students price ranges. The twins bought two hand towels. One for their mother and the other for their brother's fiancee. Miss Sara Bellum splurged and bought a good luck token for her dorm room.

Miss Sara Bellum

Me and The Mayor

A gallery was opened down the street. The artwork was reasonably priced if you weren't in a dorm room with cinder block walls. There was shoe shop named Gene's that catered to visiting Floridians. Bars and restaurants dotted the street. A club was in one of the buildings. If only we were twenty one.

I never would have thought to stop in St. Charles. Or even thought of it as a destination choice, but it's something I wish I'd been able to see more of. It was picturesque. You could spend a solid day exploring it or trying to get off the roundabout. Which, ever came first.

We returned to the Outlet Mall. A little off course for the days itinerary. We went in a book store. I believe it was called Books a Million or some variation of that. They sold Italian Vogue. That sold me. There were expensive fashion magazines. Paris Hilton graced the cover of one glossy mag. One magazine called Girls on Boys was particularly fascinating. The men were more Miss Sara Bellum's taste then mine. I can't help my fondness for the all American wind tousled virgins.

I ended up buying a discounted Chelsea Chelsea, Bang Bang hardcover. A Chelsea Handler original. Hopefully there will be an article coming out on soon after I read it, which might not be until Thanksgiving.

We were not as successful clothes wise as we might have hoped. We found one thing at Burlington Coat Factory. A pair of shorts for the sexy Sara Bellum. Rainbow was useless. Surprisingly it was Charlotte Russe that we did well. I got two scarves for two dollars each. I couldn't help myself. The twins tried on clothes. Bought clothes. So many I can't remember. Most of my time was spent trying on Boho hats and twerking to Britney Spear's “Pretty Girls” with what little ass I have.

Buy "Pretty Girls"

The Mayor

Right now all the lights are off and the twins are asleep and I'm trying to read a map for the Laumier Sculpture Park. Your favorite blogger is also wrapped in a cars blanket, because the twins have a penchant for cold weather. Something I soon figured out with complaints over the 85 degree heat.

Miss Sara Bellum

In a true spot of sophistication. We got takeout from Panda Express and ate our food in the sculpture park under the shade of a beautiful trade. I was in my four inch wedges and I had little idea that the pathways were gravel and so much was off road. The map I have spread out makes little more sense now then it did at the park. We planned on walking one of the three trails. Either the ten minute Whitaker Woods Trail or the twenty five minute Central Pathway. We did a little of all trails and marveled at all the work.

The Mayor (left) and Miss Sara Bellum (Right)

The Mayor

The twins seemed particularly entranced by the eyeball. I can't say what I liked the best. It was just nice being outside in comfortable weather looking at everything St. Louis has to offer.

The most interesting find was the Dog Museum. One I consistently refer to as the Doge Museum. The grounds were beautiful. You could bring your dog inside the museum. We had left our babies at home. There was little reading to do. There were portraits of dogs. Sculptures. It was a quick jaunt into man's best friend and a woman's too if the poodle has on a diamond choker collar.

There was a dog house nicer then my room. Portraits by Maude Earl. A British painter famous for her work on dogs. The most reading intensive part of the exhibit revolved around service dogs. It's hard not to be amazed at how capable these animals are.

The educational side of our stay in St. Louis ended with a stop at the Contemporary Art Museum of St. Louis and the Pulitzer Arts Museum. Both which are right next door to each other.

Our first stop was at the Contemporary Art Museum. It attacked me. There's a gash on my leg from where a table cut me open. It congealed before it raced onto my white shoes. I can still feel it throbbing.

The Pulitzer Arts Museum

The Contemporary Art Museum of St. Louis

It had portraits by Liat Yossifor that dealt with the aesthetic of cave painting and the intuitive act of finger painting. Her works were mostly solid white with different textures and only limited use of primary color. One of the works on display was entitled Yellow II.

Liat Yossifor

They were also doing an entire demonstration called the Sanatorium. We were only able to participate in one of the parts available. It was interactive and was supposed to gauge ways to help people achieve group therapy. We wrote down our darkest secrets tied it up with twine and read one of the previous respondents answer.

Mine discussed how lonely they felt even among people they were close to. The curator explained that was normal. It's disturbing how commonplace such an emotion can be.

Laurie Simmons

Modern art is fascinating. One of the most unique pieces told a story of different artists and what they were doing in each. It could have been a novel, but it was only a few short paragraphs.

The definitive pieces for me were the photographs by Laurie Simmons. The collection was entitled “Two Boys and a Love Doll”. It was staged photos of barbie dolls essentially, but there was something thought provoking behind it. I've never been more captured by artwork. I would hang it all in my entryway if I could.

The Pulitzer Arts Museum for all intensive purposes is a sculpture museum. I was so excited to hear that they were displaying works by Alexander Calder. His work is fascinating and it didn't disappoint. It was colorful and mesmerizing and three dimensional and obscene in it's creativity. I loved it. I couldn't stop myself from being a dork.

One woman asked me where I bought my shoes. She thought they were cute. She was right. It was the second best moment in the museum. It might have tied with the reflection pool. The museum was built by a famous architect. What other way could it go.

Alexander Calder

The other two artists on display were Richard Tuttle and Fred Sandback. I would argue that there were works were minimalist. I would even argue that art might be a strong word for what they were doing.

God, I sound just like Boomer.

11:39 pm

Last night at America's Best Value Inn.

My ear buds and I are listening to The 1975. The album not their new song “Medicine”. Found out that Miss Sara Bellum doesn't like them. Like truly doesn't like them. Strongly hates. It surprised me.

Buy "Medicine"

Our dinner consisted of going out scandalously clad. I was scantily covered. The Mayor didn't change. Miss Sara Bellum did. She informed me I looked like a cute lesbian from behind. I asked her if she would date me and she told there couldn't be two lipsticks in the relationship.

The Mayor

Miss Sara Bellum

We got sushi at a bar of all places. It was empty. There was one couple there. It was about seven o'clock. Couldn't tell you the name of the bar. The food was good. There was no atmosphere. Our bartender looked like a less muscular version of Jamie Dornan with more hair. I would match with him on Tinder.

I don't know why I can't find it. It's in a more affordable part of St. Louis. A place where lot's of drinking could be down at 2:00 in the morning. We at The Grove.

We had planned on going to Bailey's Chocolate Bar for dessert. We couldn't find it. @ Google get your life. Instead we drove around downtown St. Louis. This was our first time downtown. We'd avoided it the entire trip just to find out that it's mainly banks and Hard Rock Cafe with an expensive mall. We almost ran over the same man twice, while he was trying to cross the street. There comes a point when it's not all my fault.

In a spat of going hard or going home without google we ended up on the freeway. Picture Dionne in Clueless. That was me.

Our night ended with an intense game of Parcheesi. Nothing like a dice version of Sorry to make you want to punch a best friend in the face. At some point we reverted back to Zero. A trivia based question game that was less competitive with us playing. “Name one of the six states in Australia”. Answer that none of us know this answer.

That's Americans for you.

My music has switched to Lana Del Rey and 11:57 AM seems a good time to end today. Wrapped up in a heather pink infinity loop scarf...

Buy "High By The Beach"

August 13th
8:32 am

We're checking out of our hotel today. It's going to be the last time we ever drink Thomas coffee at America's Best Value Inn. I'm trying to pack up, but I'm really just listening to The 1975's “Medicine”, eating an apple. We still have a few more stops to make in St. Louis before we go home. I want to say I'm happy.

10:22 pm

Driving for multiple hours on end has not left me exhausted. Currently I have two infinity loop scarfs wrapped around my throat and I'm trying not fall asleep. Our trip has finally come to a close.

We got dressed in our floral attire. We packed up and cleaned up. We were ready to check out of our hotel. We did that and we made our way to the St. Louis Botanical Gardens. They were amazing.

Miss Sara Bellum

The Mayor

Miss Sara Bellum

The Mayor

Miss Sara Bellum

It was the most expenisve part of our trip. The admission was eight dollars, but I could have spent the entire day there. The weather was as perfect as something without climate control can be. At the moment the gardens are hosting a Lantern Festival. I wish we'd been there at night.

Even in broad daylight they were stunning. It was perfection. There was so much to do. We couldn't have fit it all into one day. We wandered aimlessly. There's something soothing about drifting about in well manicured lawns. There was a museum we didn't have time to go in. A house built by Henry Shaw. The man who founded the gardens.

His bachelor home was amazing. Goals stamped on a house. It turned out he was a writer. For a moment we thought we'd heard of him. We mistakenly mixed his last name with that of British playwright George Bernard Shaw. Similiar but not close.

The Mayor

The most fascinating thing about Henry Shaw was that the died a bachelor. He never married. He never had children. What an interesting thing for a wealthy bachelor. It makes one wonder what he did with his spare time.

The coolest section or the most unique was the tropical rainforest area. It was covered by it's own building and it's the closest I'll ever get to the rainforest. I got the beauty without the snakes and the poisonous dart frogs. It makes you realize just how amazing everything on this planet is walking among the flora.

At one point they had a Japanese Garden. There were koi. We got to feed the koi. I have never wanted to pet a fish before and yet there we were.

Multiple signs informed us that we were not allowed to wade in the lake. I wanted to ask who would do that. Then, I realized if there was a sign that meant someone had done it. Much like the “don't feed the red fox” sign. There must be a story behind that.

Me and The Mayor

Miss Sara Bellum

We were wrapped up in the gardens. It was therapeutic. I understand people's obsession with gardening better now. In a more traditionally me moment we went to the gift shop. Not a thing I could afford. A hundred dollar glorified cover up? Maybe once my student loans are paid off and I've been married to a reclusive millionaire.

The gardens were so amazing we missed mass.

The twins and I planned on attending mass at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis. We decided to devote more time to the gardens and visit the cathedral later.

This church had me reconsidering my stance on the justice of the peace. I wanted to walk down the aisle with 2,500 of my closest friends while the organ plays and Andre Boccelli sings to me in Italian. I'm afraid I was scantily clad for such a religious place.

There happened to be a tour going on. It was fascinating. The man was much older. He was probably more then disturbed by me. I thought he was funny. He gave quite an enjoyable tour. He pointed out so much of the religious imagery I never would have caught. How the three domes represented the son, the ghost, and the holy spirit. More amazingly how there wasn't a single drop of paint in the church.

How the founder of Tiffany helped design a few of the windows. How the inside was Byzantine and the outside was Romanesque. If your in St. Louis you need to see it. As a fake catholic I was moved. All of sudden I saw myself with a Kennedy on my arm.

I can't express what it feels like to be in this place. It's surreal. Taking a moment to just sit in silence and take it all in wasn't something we had to, but it was something we needed to do. Powerful. That's how I would describe it.

By this point we had over stayed our time in St. Louis. We left our donation. Stopped at Jack in the Box and drove home. Miss Sara Bellum spent the better part of the trip asleep and it was just me and the Mayor on a drive.

Miss Sara Bellum (left), The Mayor (middle), and Me (right)

We drove in silence. We listened to Katy Perry's One of the Boys. Only the fourth time I've listend to that album all the way through. I forgot how offensive “I Kissed A Girl” and “Your So Gay” are. They may have shock value, but she comes across as a terrible person.

We dropped Hilary Duff (buy Breathe In. Breathe Out on iTunes or your local Target). Turned on The Pink Print. Rode in silence for a lot of it. But, we talked about things. We never had before. That's the thing about road trips. It compresses your eight years of friendship into four days. We talked about their oldest brother. One I couldn't even tell you his name before this.

I hate driving. But, this was pleasant. Just a steady calm of dialogue and silence intermingling. We even turned up to some classic Shania Twain. I may or may not have forced them to listen to “She's Not Just A Pretty Face” on repeat.

Buy "She's Not Just A Pretty Face"

The trip was a success. Our friendship is intact. And, sitting here typing this at 10:55 pm is a far improvement over being at work. The only thing I missed was the dog and he's right here.

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Road Trip! (Part One)

9/2/2015

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Miss Sara Bellum (left) The Mayor (middle) and Me (right)

August 10th
9:08 am

I'm packed. I'm showered. My hair has been done up and I would even argue that I'm well rested. In twenty minutes I'm about to leave to pick up the twins and we're going to start our road trip. God help us all.

4:55 pm

We've finally made it to St. Louis. The drive here was not brutal. We started the morning out strong. 20 minutes later then expected. Pumped gas. Listened and sang to a string of hit CD's ranging from Taylor Swift's 1989 to Fall Out Boy's American Beauty/American Pyscho. I'd say the drive up went well. The Mayor spouted declarations of heat exhaustion in the backseat. A few friendly games were played. All of which I lost.

Our first stop in St. Louis was at war hero and president Ulysses S. Grant's Missouri home. That although named White Haven was in fact painted green with an even darker green finish. I've never felt much one way or another about my favorite Gilded Age presdent.

I found the exhibit to be fascinating. I can't deny that I'm actually obsessed with his love affair with wife Julia (Julie?). It was certainly more entertaining then I expected.

In other news. We checked into our hotel to find out that protests are taking place Downtown.

(The Only Photo We Took In The Museum)

8:41 pm

The protests happening downtown altered are plans. Originally our plan had to been to walk around downtown, find a good place to eat, see the arch, spend too much money going to the top. The usual day for tourists new to St. Louis. And, then a state of emergency for St. Louis was issued.

Are well timed trip had supposed to have been to Atlanta to visit. Thunder had just moved there with her fiancee (!). The twins mother was worried about race tensions.

We had to calmly remind her that she had wanted us to change our trip to St. Louis. My parents were oblivious.

The Mayor

Our trip marked the one year anniversary of the slaying of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri. The day before our arrival police officers put eighteen year old Tyrone Harris into critical condition after they exchanged gun fire with one another. The day we arrived friendly protestors were arrested outside of the federal courthouse in St. Louis. Later 30 protestors stopped traffic on I-70. Ferguson was everywhere. Our plans were just not feasible.

In true upper middle class fashion we escaped to a suburban retreat and obliviously drank our blackberry caramel frappuccino's while Natalia Kill's crooned over the loudspeaker at the Coffee Cartel that never closes.

Buy "Trouble"

The area we were in is called the Central West End. The name just screams luxury. We confined ourselves to the Maryland Plaza where most of the shopping was located. It was boutique shopping. It was decadence.

There was not a single thing we could afford. Our first dalliance was at the Lululemon Athletica. Based out of Canada with a logo eerily reminscent to that of Coco Peru's it offered sixty eight dollar tennis skirts and a plain striped shirt you could buy for $20 at Target for a marked up $54. It was the bargain.

This area is better then my entire existence. I can't express how necessary it was to price check every restaurant before we even considered stopping in it.

AG was the most interesting boutique. The woman behind it is a contributing editor of Vogue. Adriano Goldschmeid. She's been a host on some show on MTV or VH1 and now she's decided to dip her hand into the world of high end fashion. No, I don't want to spend ninety dollars on a beanie. Her style could be described smart and polished, but I think the words “boring” and “predictable” are more applicable. After this I truly expected to finding a Gucci flagship store next door.

My favorite store was 10Denza. I loved practically everything in it. Even the eight hundred dollar leather jacket. As the clerk mentioned we were lucky as they were having a sale. A cute patterned cobalt sweater I would spend thirty on was marked down to sixty. Down from a 108. The entire store was full of cute gay boy chic and enhanced feminine style. I loved it. My bank account not so much. The twins obnoxious friend would have loved it. I'm convinced he had floral patterned polo shirt in that exact shade of coral.

Our dinner was spent at the Kingside Diner. A glamorous and hip reasonably priced getaway across the street from a Guiness Record holding chess piece. It was the largest in the world.

Miss Sara Bellum

The Mayor and Me

The waitress was a tatted LeAnn Rimes and one of her fellow waiters defined bro. He had twenty dollar knee high Nike socks. It was a look. The food was amazing. Our waitress completely sweet. I got the grilled cheese caprese and the twins finished two burgers with potato buns. My entire existence led up to eating this meal.

By this point it was almost dark (gasp) and this low rent Taylor Swift drove back to the our every stylish America's Best Value Inn.

11:46 pm

We took an hour break from human interaction with another. Followed it up with a bag of Cheez-It's two rounds of Zero. Miss Sara Bellum won the first round, me the second. Then, we played Blokus and I won. Fumbling through Tinder we casually had Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen on. I realized I was Lindsay Lohan and the twins were her best friend. Miss Sara Bellum flirted with a boy with tattoos. He was a mix between Pearl and Violet Chachki and he had a certain porn star quality about him.

That's what love is built on.

August 11th
3:23 am

I've been asleep for less then three hours and I've never been more awake in my life. I'm now locked in the bathroom updating my social media. From what I can tell the twins aren't sleeping that much better either.

Miss Sara Bellum

The Mayor

9:37 am

The twins groggily ignored their alarms at 8:30. I hadn't slept much better after crawling back into bed at 4:00 in the morning. We showered. Put on our scandalous bathing suits and enjoyed our first continental breakfast at America's Best Value Inn.

The waffle batter was empty. The coffee was proclaimed to be a St. Louis tradition and I had no idea how to work the toaster. Miss Sara Bellum threw a hot chocolate packet in her coffee. Another guest came in and did some deep breathing exercises. I updated my social media. It was productive. A wonderful morning wake up call.

10:05 pm

I have taken the twins virginity.

After breakfast we drove up to Six Flags over St. Louis, which isn't even in the same county. It was a pleasant drive. The line to get in was extensive. It's the last week of school before the native St. Louis children are going back to school. It was a joy.

This is one of the few times you will ever see a picture of me with my hair a mess. Much like Gotye's heart. One of the draws behind Atlanta was not only visiting Thunder, but also the water park there. The twins were the students in the Lizzie McGuire Movie who took a 24 hour bus trip to a water park instead of the eternal city of Rome.

On this proud day I took their roller coaster virginity. They had never been before. We took them on the wooden coaster American Thunder. They have both vowed to never ride another roller coaster in their life. Although, the Mayor did make it onto the Pandemonium for me. I hate doing anything alone.

Miss Sara Bellum's favorite ride was what I will describe as the scrambler. It was frequented by six years old. The three of us barely fit into one car and the ride operator serenaded us with “Let It Go”. It was magical.

As a group we only participated in one more ride. The water themed rapids Thunder River. The twins took part in the carousel. I took part in two more roller coasters. The Mine Train and The Boss. I never did get to go upside down.

Most of our day was spent in the water park. Disappointingly enough there was not a single attractive male. There was one exception of the Under Armour hugging twenty year old. He was gorgeous, although it's always so hard to tell when people have on sunglasses. Gorgeous women abounded. Even without our glasses on we could tell.

Miss Sara Bellum

The Mayor

We realized very quickly that the three of us would have to deal with the potential loss of our glasses. The only tension we had was when we were deciding where to go, but couldn't see anything. We went down slides. Almost drowned in the artificial tidal waves one of the beach areas produced. It was anything if boring.

Six Flags doesn't disappoint. I hate to admit that there was a special place in my heart for the Lazy River. I could have spent all day there. Just not eight dollars for a tube rental. It was a little steep.

It was at the end of the day I raced onto two roller coasters. The before mentioned Mine Train and The Boss. Little did I know that The Boss is one of the fastest rides there and also the longest at three minutes and ten seconds long. The twins most certainly could not have handled it.

Oddly enough one of the attendants was this sun kissed blonde. I was dressed conservative for me. At this point I had on board shorts over my swimsuit. And, he stretched out his hand. Thanks to the preparation of my heterosexual coworker I was able to respond appropriately. I fist bumped him.

The ride was terrifying. I can't tell you what it was, but I was horribly sad. Our day at Six Flags was over. It was almost as if I was emotionally drained. It was as if Summer was over. The drive back to our hotel was difficult. I've never felt so incomplete. We had on Lana Del Rey. That certainly didn't help anything. I don't know it might be that I haven't cried recently, but I was overwhelmed. I'm still frustratingly saddened.

The stop at our hotel enabled me to fix my hair before we went out for dinner. We went to this restaurant called Rooster. It was modern. We drank out of mason glasses, presumably to help the upper middle class relate to the poor. Our table was one solid connected unit of table. It screamed professionally designed and more importantly it was fabulous.

Apparently all male waiters in St. Louis are muscular. Ours was very pleasant. He suggested to the twins that they should ride Mr. Freeze at Six Flags. This ride goes upside down, shoots you backward. It was not filed under anything they could do. They struggled with the ferris wheel.

Me and The Mayor

Me and Miss Sara Bellum

Miss Sara Bellum ordered a steak frites (delicious), The Mayor got a strawberry Nutella crepe (essentially a bottle of Nutella with carbs), and I got a Veggie Burger. There was ginger root on it. The ranch I dipped my french fries was homemade. God is real and he lives at Rooster.

In order to convince the staff that we never stop eating. We came home with a box of Insomnia Cookies. Tragically they don't deliver where our hotel is located. I've already convinced the hotel staff we're crazy by yelling at Hilary Duff to “slay” and “be a queen” when she was on The View in the lobby.

Insomnia Cookies are an institution. Fresh baked cookies. Warm. Moist. Orgasmic. A little revolting if you have Miss Sara Bellum express her love for them. They might be perfection. Jesus might make them on the midnight shift. My entire view of the world has changed, because of the food in St. Louis.

The follow up and conclusion will be posted next Wednesday.

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Tear It Down

6/24/2015

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Two new pieces of artwork have been installed in my bedroom and bathroom. One is geometrical and sexy and the other one is a park bench that I have hung up the wrong way. Your probably asking yourself. How much did this artwork cost. It was free.

You probably weren't asking this question, but quite recently my school decided to tear down one of the buildings on campus. Actually, it wasn't recently. They made this decision two years, but they just now got around to actually doing it. They had this whole celebration regarding it's demolition. As per usual my school tries to be fancy and it did not succeed. There was a marching band that was not very good and the only people who showed up were like eighty years old.

Black and I decided to go and it was honestly so exciting. They told us to take anything we wanted from the building. It used to be the arts building on campus. It was a treasure hunt.

Mind you I was doing all of this in my walking shoes. 6 inch blue platform wedges. There my most comfortable shoes and it really wasn't a struggle, but I could tell everyone else was like you are going to die. For some reason there were lockers in this building. It was the oldest building on campus and at some point they decided lockers were necessary.

There was a lot of mess in these lockers. Teddy bears, a box of chocolates, a stack of video cassettes I took. Black and I are going to watch them at some point this summer. Different versions of the phrase “Co Gai Bo Long” are written on all the sides. Do I know what that means? No. I am hoping this isn't some version of the ring? You better believe it.

We also found this ornate green candy dish. It was in one of the lockers for some reason. I don't have any answers for this. I don't think my school has even torn this building down, yet. It's a mess. We ended up finding all of the art in the basement.

The basement scares me. Joyce and I cleaned a room down there for this art project this year and she tried to leave me in there alone and I was like try again. We had this project at school and we graffitied up one of the art rooms. You can see my polka dots on one of the walls. I'm a very talented artist.

It's a cool building. The heating and cooling system just doesn't work. It's also supposed to be haunted. Some woman apparently hung herself in one of the stairwells. A mother and her child apparently froze to death in one of the archways. One of the older people was telling this story, so I might not have it right. It honestly doesn't make sense to me, but that's the story.

All of these spirits are supposed to be in the attic. I don't know why they decided to habitat the same place, but okay. One of the programs I'm in had an annual tradition of telling ghost stories in there for Halloween. I'm sure it was terrifying. I'm just thinking if we tear this building down aren't the spirits going to be in the new building. It's supposed to be finished my junior year and we'll see how well that goes.

The new building is modern and retro and plated with glass and I love it. There was this huge reveal by the President of the new design and I was just like lol one of my teachers showed me these pictures the day you revealed them to the faculty.

It was really great to reminiscence in a building that I never had a class in. I would go in once in a while. I almost fell down a flight of stairs when I was by myself there. That is the amount of my happy memories there.

I wanted Thunder to go, but she was doing something with the boy toy and I was like okay. It was just such a fun day. Do things like this. They might be silly, but I got to spend time with Black who also got some awesome artwork. It was just so nice. That was just a great day.

I spent the rest of it with the twins, because it was there birthday. And, if you want to know about that, it was the subject of my last Tasty Tuesday.

Link to: Eat A Hamburger

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The First Semester Car Problems Curse

9/12/2014

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The Nagoya protocol. That's what part two of two is going to be about.

I'm lying to you. I was in the science building on campus, in one of the student lounges, with no good place to plug in my laptop, and I picked up one of the science journals, and there was a very long, comprehensive article on the Nagoya protocol. I never want to talk about it.

Hopefully, there will not be a third part to this two part drama that is my car. I do call him the grandfather, but lately he's been living up to that reputation, and I'm really not here for it.

I was on my way to school. It was Sunday, the day before school started. I was on my way to meeting on campus. I'm just driving along when I'm pushing the gas pedal, and it is not speeding the car up. If anything it is braking the car. I get into a turn lane, and only because God deemed it appropriate did I make it through the light before stalling on a side street right in front of this elementary school.

I do not have a cellphone. I am downtown, with a stalled car unable to call anyone. It is Sunday, all respectable places of business are closed, no one is at the school. It has to be a 100 degrees outside, and I am walking to find someone who will let me borrow their phone. Not to call my mother, but instead to call the person I was meeting at school. She would have to come get me. My mother and I were in a spitting match. It was not okay.

I find no one, I go back to the car, and I start the car up. Maybe, I can get it at least a little closer to the school. I make it to the first gate. Barely making it over twenty at any point in this, I get to the security guard. I tell him why I'm here. He tells me I need to park in the commuter lot.

I broke it down for that man right there. Sir, my car is stalling (You made it up the drive just fine, questioning my honesty), I will not and I cannot make it to the other side. I am parking over here and I hope you don't have a problem with that.

He acquiesces and I go to my meeting. I tell Thunder what happens and she insists that she'll help me. That makes sense. I don't know what I expected her to say. “Sorry, bitch, but I've got places to be. As in with my boyfriend.” Her boyfriend, shows up on campus, and collectively we go out to Auto Zone and buy some oil for the car. Why we thought this would fix the acceleration problem. I don't know, but we were convinced it was a possibility.

I leave the school. Using two main roads home, peeved when I'm stopped at the bottom of a hill and have to accelerate over the top of it. That was fun. I made it with no serious problems, other then it took me forever to cross an intersection.

I get home, tell my father what happened, he tells me it's either the fuel pump or the fuel filter and that I should use mother's car to get to school on Monday. My father is out of state as all of this is happening. I still very peeved with my mother refuse to ask her for it, and calm my nerves by turning up Havana Brown and taking side streets all the way to school.

The question of whether or not I made it on time is still not answered. I checked my school e-mail that morning, getting a new one from my Algebra teacher to bring my textbook to class, but my teacher that moved the class to an entirely different building could not be bothered. Because, I'm already late I don't mention to the history professor, that hey I'm in the wrong class. I decided I will just sit through it.

Thank, God some other poor confused student asked the important question and got us both to the right class. The best part of being so stressed out about driving to school, is that you can't really worry about what your first day of school is. The only thing that stands out to me is that my algebra teacher was too excited, too fast, and if I did not have a working knowledge of how to do Least Common Multiples, I would be failing that class so hard right now.

Oh, she's also decided that were having a “lab”. Woman, this is algebra. What do you mean by “lab”. This isn't biology and I will not be playing with any test tubes in algebra.

The drive home that day, I think was the most fun. This car braked in front of me, and when I tried to regain the speed, I ended up stalling, and I swung the grandfather into the nearest parking lot, which just so happened to be a porn store. Well, actually a toy store, because they specialized in other things. Dildos for everyone.

Once, home, I'm informed by my father that we need to get the fuel filter replaced at Valvoline. I barely made it home that day. I don't know how well he expected that to end. It ended okay. Valvoline doesn't change out fuel filters and they told us to go to Firestone. We go there, we leave the car, and my mother and I go grocery shopping. Although, I did force her to stop at McDonald's first for that $1 large sweet tea. Let me tell you everything. My day was okay.

Then. Father decides to call. I tell him we went to Firestone. He flips his shit. It costs too much money, I tell him I will pay for it. That makes it worse. We have to go back out to bring the car back home. He decided the fuel filter wasn't the problem. My mother and I go back out. I start the car, and we are almost home. I just have to make it through this one light, and I can coast down to our neighborhood.

That was not meant to be. The car stalls in the middle of the intersection. I keep saying that for dramatic effect, but other then the other people in the left hand turn lane, I wasn't really blocking anything. I was in the intersection, but it wasn't stopping through traffic.

The stoplight goes through it's cycle. I have the car turned off the whole time, flashers on, reading my Architectural Digest, just waiting for when the car will make it through the light. It turns green again. I start the car up. I press the gas and it lets me through the light.

Now that my father has heard about all this stalling he was worried enough to hire a mechanic to come out and replace the fuel pump. To the great shock of everyone the mechanic got in a car wreck that day and had to get fifteen stitches in his left arm.I don't know what else could happen. I hope nothing until next year.

That's what Thunder told me. I've inherited her curse as an outgoing senior. The First Semester Car Problem Curse.

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Neck Pains & Blackouts

Road Trip! (Part Two)

Road Trip! (Part One)

Tear It Down

The First Semester Car Problems Curse

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