Last time we talked, not shit was happening. I was in bed typing to you talking about my life, trying to make something up to be vaguely coherent and interesting. I hope it worked.
Recently, my life has been low key falling apart, but in a cute attractive way. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself. I have holes in my work shoes and the heel is falling out, but that's just a small problem in my sea of mess ups.
I ditched my mother on Friday to spend time with a dear friend of mine. My mother wasn't pleased, but when your life is falling apart as much as ours is, sometimes you have to see each other to talk it out. We got slushies and got stuck in traffic.
I didn't get a slushy. I wasn't eating. It was a very stressful week and I kept throwing up. I'm eating goldfish right now, completely unstressed. I lost two pounds and so far I haven't gained it back. Yeah!!!!!!! Your blonde, skinny, queen of the internet, is even skinnier. Summer body here I come.
There I ran into one of my frenemies. We're not really enemies. I like him a lot and he's fun. The problem is that everyone likes him better then me and I'm a competitive gay and I always win. As Miss Sara Bellum said to me when we left, “he's a lot funnier then I expected.” Fuck you too bitch. What team are you playing for.
We all played as a team together. It was a lot of fun. Miss Sara Bellum got to meet one of the most photogenic people at my school and I got to spend two hours pretending like I knew one of the answers.
The next day I realized I was famous. I was out shopping at Target as one does and this woman came up to me and asked if I was friends with my frenemy. I told her I was. Clearly, he's obsessed with me and talks about me all the time lol. But, who isn't.
I actually sent that text to someone and their reply back to me was “why are you texting me so much?” So, apparently we're not best friends.