I've never broken dress code before.
It started that morning when I was getting dressed to go to school. After I got out of class I was driving three hours to meet my favorite twins to go see a drag queen. The question of course is what do you wear to meet a drag queen?
I threw on this cute crop top. That has long sleeves by the way. WHY. Then, I threw on this cute eighties, Shannen Dohertyesque jacket on over it, put on my tightest skinny jeans, and my four and a half inch leopard print wedges (because why not) and sashayed out to school.
She loves James Joyce and honestly I judge for it. I appreciate The Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man as a literary achievement, but that doesn't mean I like him. So, Joyce helped me out and we bonded. Talked shit about people had a good time. And , then I got in my car to go.
It was an all around mess. It was raining. And, the last time I'd driven on the freeway for an extended period of time, I was sixteen, and almost ran off the road. Friendly, reminder do not take long road trips while listening to Jenny Lewis. You need turn up music. And, as much as I love her that was not the way to start the trip off.
Needless to say three hours later I arrive (safely) on their campus. And, I'm walking up to their dorm with my jacket open, because I have a crop top. And, I might as well let people know I have a flat stomach while it's still present. When the Mayor is all like “Oh my god, you look fabulous, but you're breaking dress code.”
The reason I drove up to see them was so we could go see Pearl. The most beautiful drag queen off of the seventh season of RuPaul's Drag Race. She was performing that night and I was like yes god. Her show started at 11:00, so before that. We had time to kill.
They took me to their Forever 21. It was huge. I spent too much money. And, I'm actually regretting the fact that I didn't buy this cute black crop top and this floral printed top. But, they were both long sleeved and it's basically summer now. When am I going to wear that. October.
At this point we actually went over to the club. I have never been clubbing before, so this was an experience. We didn't actually do a lot of dancing. We wanted good close standing to see Pearl peform. Poor life choice when all of you have on your wedges. This was a Friday. I'm sitting here on a Sunday and my toes are still a little numb.
They had some amateur drag before Pearl's show and that was a ratchet mess, but I loved it. You really haven't lived until you've seen a drag queen lipsync to “I Will Always Love You”. Not all of them wore heels and that was a disappointment. You may be amateur, but huntie gots to get their 1 inch kitten heels on.
He actually stood behind us for part of the show and Miss Sara Bellum pointed him out to me. She certainly knows my taste in men.
Now, when Pearl's actual set came on. We were surrounded by this group of friends. It was three guys. And, do you ever get the feeling that friends have fucked each other. That's the vibe they had. Like, sure they were friends. But, at some point they had been a little bit extra. These boys were extra. One had bleach blonde hair with half of it shaved off. It wasn't for me. The second one didn't have good hair, but he was kind of non descriptive. The third. Lord. His hair was on point, but not a good point. He had this Mohawk. His hair was piled up. It was immaculate. It was amazing. It just wasn't a good look.
The actual show itself was pretty amazing. There were four other queens with Pearl. They opened by doing a lip sync to “Lady Marmalade”. The one representing P!NK was on fire. Then, this queen named Princess started to dictate the show. She was funny. She had tattoos. She was amazing. Honestly, what she did is what I wish Pearl had done. At the end of the show I felt like I got to know Princess better then Pearl. All of Princess's lip sync's were on point. Her final one was a mash up of Lily Allen's “Fuck You”, Big Sean's “I Don't Fuck With You”, and Cee Lo Green's “Fuck You”. They all had the corresponding theme of fuck to prove how ladylike she was.
There was a little part of me that was worried about Pearl's lipsync performance. On Drag Race. She did not bring it. Apparently, though when she has time to choreograph her moves, Pearl can rock. She was amazing and electric. She was fidgety and Pearl looked sexy as fuck. Her pants were tight and good. Her nose ring was classy without over doing it. I loved her look.
The only disappointing part of the night was that we didn't get to take a picture with Pearl. The line was a mess. An absolute mess. I swear it didn't move at all. And, the twins had a curfew. Their school needs to calm itself.
My drive home was great. It rained the whole way. But, I had turn up music on the whole time. That Rihanna. That Madonna. That Britney Spears and Lady Gaga. Shout out to them for aiding in my hearing loss. I got home and my parents asked me how the concert was and until that moment I had totally forgot that I told them I was seeing Walk The Moon instead of a drag queen at a gay bar.