Friends

Friends are such a weird concept. They’re there for you. They come and go. Sometimes faster than the wind and they stay sometimes longer then you would ever expect. I’ve been having such a roller coaster with them lately. They know how to hurt you better than anyone and they can be closer to you then a family member that’s known you your whole life.
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I’ve had such a wide array of emotions from a wide group of people. Last Friday I had a heart to heart with one. I truly thought we wouldn’t be friends any more. That might be, because I’m a dramatic cunt. But, I genuinely thought that he doesn’t care about me. He did at one point, but I didn’t know if that was true anymore. I was glad I was wrong.  

One group of friends I just don’t know how I feel. I want them in my life and I don’t at the same time. I care and I don’t. I’m still low key hurt, but actually really high key. I think it’s part of me not dealing with my emotions very well.  

At this point I’m not even sure if me and Sacajawea and Rosencrantz are friends. The last time I called Rosencrantz she never returned my message. But, I’ve been told that friendship is a “two way street” and that “I’m not putting in any effort.”
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They’re both replacing me with a boy who’s named after a city in Texas. I shouldn’t be hurt. Friends are allowed to gain and grow close to newer and better people. I’m a petty, jealous bitch, though and that’s not how I feel.  

Sacajawea said to me that she doesn’t like spending time with me, because I’m so negative. I guess that wasn’t supposed to hurt my feelings. I only have three, but it hurt all of them. If I was texting this I would have added lol.  

I’m not sure if I want to be friends with her and at this point I’m not sure if she wants me to be friends with her anymore. It’s mostly my fault.
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The Princes are having their troubles as couples do. It made me realize where my relationship is at with Harry. The only time he really texts me is when something is going wrong with their relationship.

And, I care, but when I heard they were having trouble I had it pegged. He’ll text me today after not replying to me for a week. We’ll hang out at some point this week. And, I was completely right. We’re hanging out tonight as I type this. I feel dull and unimportant. But, that’s okay. I’m probably over thinking it. I’ve always been worried that he thinks I’m boring and he probably does. My response to “what are you doing?” is “just took a quiz today lol”.
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Black and I have been doing really well. We’ve decided to collectively change her name to “Raven”. It sounds more interesting. We’ve been spending so much time together, I’m surprised she doesn’t hate me yet.  

All I really know is what Bette Midler said is true, “everyone’s got to have friends.”

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