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In an unsurprising turn of events nothing happened to me. I was convinced something good would come along that I could poor my heart into and update you about my life.
The worst thing that happened was my inability to send a fax. I was born in the nineties, but I was not breathing and living through the office revelation that was the fax machine. My earliest memories start with hitting a baby one more time. |
Picture it. It was me and one of my favorite people on campus. She's young. 23, maybe 25. Also not old enough to experience the fax machine. And, we could not figure it out. We struggled. We punched in numbers. We gave up. I ended up going to Kinkos and spending $2.40 to send a one page document. One Page.
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My same favorite person also put in her two weeks notice. That was probably the worst part of my week. I see her every day. And, now I'll have to work with someone else? What if it's a man. I've come to accept the fact that I lost the heterosexual male crowd a long time ago. But, what if he's a man. That's straight. Because, if we're being really honest the gay ones don't like me that much either. I'm just very stressed.
I also found out that one of my favorite people is FINALLY dating this girl. They made it official over fall break. It honestly bothers me that it took him multiple weeks to mention it to me. He knows how invested I am in their love. They are my Brad and Angelina. I deserved to know. |
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The funniest thing is that they thought this was some big surprise. Like they spend so much time together. To the point that it's clear that their not “just friends”. They're the prettiest couple I know and I cry a little inside.
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I also went to the zoo. I haven't been in forever, but I went with my GSA. Our treasurer was there. I was there. We had a really good time.
I don't know zoos make me kind of sad. The animals look sad, which makes me sad. The enclosures don't seem big enough or nice enough. They just don't seem happy and that makes my cold little heart shatter. Truly my life is so boring. I'm sitting here typing, trying to figure out what to tell you. I watched Scream Queens on Tuesday. It was actually so funny, because I was walking back from the zoo when I pass this line of cars. |
I look good as I always do and this car window rolls down. It's the director of one of my programs and she's like do you want to watch this documentary with us? And, I said (still walking) “Nooooooooo”. She says “are you going to the meeting tomorrow?” and I was like “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
It was very uncomfortable experience of disappointment. I also got a certificate saying how fabulous I am. Clearly. I already knew, but now I have written proof. I was also informed that I was “iconic” and that I show our campus “what liberal really means.”
I don't know what that last thing means, but I like the way it sounds.
I don't know what that last thing means, but I like the way it sounds.
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