Murder mystery dinner parties are one of the most adult things you can do with your Halloween night that doesn't include appletinis and bobbing for pears in a tub of vodka. I got glammed up for an “affair to dismember.”
My character was the wicked witch of the depressed. She was fashionable and most importantly she hated everyone. Needless to say she was the perfect fit for me.
These stories ere on the side of the improbability. I like having sex on my broom a mile high? My field of poppy flowers is all for my heroin addiction. My husband is having sex with my mother. I slept with my best friend's fiancee and I'm having his babies. Twins (Hansel and Gretel)
All I can say is that despite the suspicions thrown against me on pineapple pizza. Yes, it was my spell book. But, I didn't cast the spell and I didn't commit the murder and most importantly I wasn't thrown to the thronging mob outside the castle gates.
This morning I was getting dressed for the day and I couldn't figure out why I have four more outfits for the next two days. I also have five pairs of shoes for a four day trip, but not even that merciless shower head could beat the answer into me.
In other news I sleep deprived myself just enough that I wasn't kept up by the air conditioning unit. Ready for today.
We gave up and settled on our next stop. The Outlet Mall. We got there at 9:30. It didn't open until 10:00. Our options were clear. Find somewhere else to spend our time. Google did not fail us this time. We settled on a coffee shop in St. Charles. It had Picasso in the title. It seemed quaint. I was the only one who got coffee. It was called Black Forrest and was supposed to taste of cherry's. It served it's purpose about as well as Boomer likes modern art (he's not a fan).
We actually bought something. Usually boutique shopping involves a lot of browsing. We did that. But, this store was within three college students price ranges. The twins bought two hand towels. One for their mother and the other for their brother's fiancee. Miss Sara Bellum splurged and bought a good luck token for her dorm room.
A gallery was opened down the street. The artwork was reasonably priced if you weren't in a dorm room with cinder block walls. There was shoe shop named Gene's that catered to visiting Floridians. Bars and restaurants dotted the street. A club was in one of the buildings. If only we were twenty one.
I never would have thought to stop in St. Charles. Or even thought of it as a destination choice, but it's something I wish I'd been able to see more of. It was picturesque. You could spend a solid day exploring it or trying to get off the roundabout. Which, ever came first.
We were not as successful clothes wise as we might have hoped. We found one thing at Burlington Coat Factory. A pair of shorts for the sexy Sara Bellum. Rainbow was useless. Surprisingly it was Charlotte Russe that we did well. I got two scarves for two dollars each. I couldn't help myself. The twins tried on clothes. Bought clothes. So many I can't remember. Most of my time was spent trying on Boho hats and twerking to Britney Spear's “Pretty Girls” with what little ass I have.
Buy "Pretty Girls"
In a true spot of sophistication. We got takeout from Panda Express and ate our food in the sculpture park under the shade of a beautiful trade. I was in my four inch wedges and I had little idea that the pathways were gravel and so much was off road. The map I have spread out makes little more sense now then it did at the park. We planned on walking one of the three trails. Either the ten minute Whitaker Woods Trail or the twenty five minute Central Pathway. We did a little of all trails and marveled at all the work.
There was a dog house nicer then my room. Portraits by Maude Earl. A British painter famous for her work on dogs. The most reading intensive part of the exhibit revolved around service dogs. It's hard not to be amazed at how capable these animals are.
It had portraits by Liat Yossifor that dealt with the aesthetic of cave painting and the intuitive act of finger painting. Her works were mostly solid white with different textures and only limited use of primary color. One of the works on display was entitled Yellow II.
They were also doing an entire demonstration called the Sanatorium. We were only able to participate in one of the parts available. It was interactive and was supposed to gauge ways to help people achieve group therapy. We wrote down our darkest secrets tied it up with twine and read one of the previous respondents answer.
Mine discussed how lonely they felt even among people they were close to. The curator explained that was normal. It's disturbing how commonplace such an emotion can be.
The other two artists on display were Richard Tuttle and Fred Sandback. I would argue that there were works were minimalist. I would even argue that art might be a strong word for what they were doing.
God, I sound just like Boomer.
Last night at America's Best Value Inn.
My ear buds and I are listening to The 1975. The album not their new song “Medicine”. Found out that Miss Sara Bellum doesn't like them. Like truly doesn't like them. Strongly hates. It surprised me.
Our dinner consisted of going out scandalously clad. I was scantily covered. The Mayor didn't change. Miss Sara Bellum did. She informed me I looked like a cute lesbian from behind. I asked her if she would date me and she told there couldn't be two lipsticks in the relationship.
We had planned on going to Bailey's Chocolate Bar for dessert. We couldn't find it. @ Google get your life. Instead we drove around downtown St. Louis. This was our first time downtown. We'd avoided it the entire trip just to find out that it's mainly banks and Hard Rock Cafe with an expensive mall. We almost ran over the same man twice, while he was trying to cross the street. There comes a point when it's not all my fault.
In a spat of going hard or going home without google we ended up on the freeway. Picture Dionne in Clueless. That was me.
Our night ended with an intense game of Parcheesi. Nothing like a dice version of Sorry to make you want to punch a best friend in the face. At some point we reverted back to Zero. A trivia based question game that was less competitive with us playing. “Name one of the six states in Australia”. Answer that none of us know this answer.
That's Americans for you.
My music has switched to Lana Del Rey and 11:57 AM seems a good time to end today. Wrapped up in a heather pink infinity loop scarf...
Driving for multiple hours on end has not left me exhausted. Currently I have two infinity loop scarfs wrapped around my throat and I'm trying not fall asleep. Our trip has finally come to a close.
We got dressed in our floral attire. We packed up and cleaned up. We were ready to check out of our hotel. We did that and we made our way to the St. Louis Botanical Gardens. They were amazing.
His bachelor home was amazing. Goals stamped on a house. It turned out he was a writer. For a moment we thought we'd heard of him. We mistakenly mixed his last name with that of British playwright George Bernard Shaw. Similiar but not close.
The most fascinating thing about Henry Shaw was that the died a bachelor. He never married. He never had children. What an interesting thing for a wealthy bachelor. It makes one wonder what he did with his spare time.
Multiple signs informed us that we were not allowed to wade in the lake. I wanted to ask who would do that. Then, I realized if there was a sign that meant someone had done it. Much like the “don't feed the red fox” sign. There must be a story behind that.
This church had me reconsidering my stance on the justice of the peace. I wanted to walk down the aisle with 2,500 of my closest friends while the organ plays and Andre Boccelli sings to me in Italian. I'm afraid I was scantily clad for such a religious place.
There happened to be a tour going on. It was fascinating. The man was much older. He was probably more then disturbed by me. I thought he was funny. He gave quite an enjoyable tour. He pointed out so much of the religious imagery I never would have caught. How the three domes represented the son, the ghost, and the holy spirit. More amazingly how there wasn't a single drop of paint in the church.
We drove in silence. We listened to Katy Perry's One of the Boys. Only the fourth time I've listend to that album all the way through. I forgot how offensive “I Kissed A Girl” and “Your So Gay” are. They may have shock value, but she comes across as a terrible person.
The trip was a success. Our friendship is intact. And, sitting here typing this at 10:55 pm is a far improvement over being at work. The only thing I missed was the dog and he's right here.
Merry Christmas Eve to the world. Hopefully you are opening your stockings, eating too many cookies, and soon have a mild cardiac arrest. I realize that today is not Friday and that Black Friday was last month. The thing is, I realize you all think I'm super interesting and I just have so much going on in my life. That is not true.
I am an exceedingly boring person in life and liberty. I was really hoping something exciting would come along that I could tell you instead of this, but it is kind of a funny story. So, I might as well tell you.
So, Black Friday was a very eventful day for me. I did not go shopping. No, hunty that is what Cyber Monday is for. You stay up until midnight and press order and you go back to sleep. That is my kind of shopping.
(Just in case you were wondering what I bought)
I was out with Boomer. I have not seen him in forever. I haven't seen him, since August. He did not come back over fall break, so this was the first time he was back in town, doing his thing. So, of course I was like we need to do something. I dragged him to go see The Maze Runner.
I finally got around to seeing it. Dylan O'Brien is my baby and he is in this movie. I honestly thought he was a side character, but no he was main lead. The movie was fantastic. I didn't know what it was about going into it, but it was great. Side note that Dylan O'Brien looked sexy as fuck in this movie. He's cute. That's why I like him, but in this movie he was lean and fit and just take my body kind of sexy. Honestly he's a great actor. I was surprised. I thought we would see Stiles 2.0, but no Dylan brought a whole new light to this character.
Needless to say I did not tell Boomer that the only reason I was seeing this movie was because Dylan O'Brien. It was as we were heading home that I hit someone, because I am just such a safe driver. Everyone tells me I'm a good driver. I am not.
I have had my license for two years and I have been in four wrecks. All minor, but still. I've come to realize that essentially I'm Lindsay Lohan. The funny thing about this wreck is someone said to me, do you really want to go out driving on Black Friday? I told them I would be fine. I was not.
I also could not find my current insurance. I was hyperventilating. Boomer looked at me. He was like breath. You are an idiot. You have your insurance. Of course I did. Mind you while we were waiting for the police, I had on the Pentatonix Christmas album, and we were smooth like jamming out to it while we waited.
The police were super nice. I felt bad that we inconvenienced them. Not just because I got a ticket. It was just like we really did not need them. Our bumpers were a little dinged up, but the cars were still driving just fine. This was a minor wreck. She said I was going twenty miles an hour, and I wanted to tell her to calm herself. Maybe it was fifteen. Maybe.
The officer also thought I was dating Boomer. I was like please stop. This is my best friend. No.
Then, he tells me that I need to change the color of my hair to something natural. I have been lying to you for a very long time. Since, this blog started. I am not blonde. My hair has been gray, blue, purple. You name it. I am a natural blonde, but I am only two parts of the “Blonde, Skinny, Queen of the Internet”.
When, I started my job I was a blonde, but for the past six months my hair has not been a natural color. So, I'm just confused by my general manager. Why all of a sudden is my hair color an issue. It hasn't been a problem for six months. You missed your chance to tell me to change it, six months ago. The man has also seen my hair on numerous occasions. I work quite a bit. I do run into him.
He even told me I should do my hair orange for Halloween, so I don't get why all of a sudden it needs to be a natural color. It is not in the employee handbook, because I read it.If he wants to fire me, why doesn't he needs to come up with a better reason. Because, this one is bullshit, because he literally never said it was a problem before this.
He also said he was going to fire me if I didn't change it. Fun fact. I don't know if he was just in a funk or what, but I am applying to different jobs. I do not like being harassed.
Needless to say I got off early that night. I pushed my way past my coworker to get off before her. I am not even sorry. Update to anyone who didn't already know. I am a bitch.
Melodrama puncutated with exclamation points.