Category: Shop

Neck Pains & Blackouts

8/17/2016

It was an eventful span of three days for me.

I hurt my neck. I woke up and I was in so much pain. I'm guessing it was a result of all my headbanging to Avril Lavigne, but no one knows for sure. Still, my mother's car was broken, so she wanted to hang out and who better to drive her around then her favorite live in child?

We went to this coffee shop downtown. It was very good and I even parallel parked on a busy street. I'm amazing. My neck was not feeling my usual exorcist mentality, but still I persevered and took that parking spot like the blonde bitch I am.

Three (four? six?) days later I ran my car battery down at work. Now I know how to jump a car, I have run my battery down many times before. I even had the assistance of Sacajawea. You know your best friends when someone willingly get's their extensions wet to help you jumpstart your car. It was thundering and dark outside, so we may have required the assistance of everyone's favorite country boy, but besides that we are strong independent individuals. Basically.

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Road Trip! (Part Two)

9/9/2015

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The Mayor

Miss Sara Bellum

August 12th
7:30 am

This morning I was getting dressed for the day and I couldn't figure out why I have four more outfits for the next two days. I also have five pairs of shoes for a four day trip, but not even that merciless shower head could beat the answer into me.

In other news I sleep deprived myself just enough that I wasn't kept up by the air conditioning unit. Ready for today.

5:13 pm

Today's itinerary started off really well. We couldn't find the cemetery or more accurately google maps couldn't find it. It dropped us off near this very dated fifties suburban community. All the inhabitants were octogenerians. I assumed they lived close to the cemetery for a shorter commute when they had a heart attack. Somewhere along the way we realized Davy Lane was not where our beloved cemetery was. We had hoped to gain cultural knowledge and most importantly take aesthetic pictures.

We gave up and settled on our next stop. The Outlet Mall. We got there at 9:30. It didn't open until 10:00. Our options were clear. Find somewhere else to spend our time. Google did not fail us this time. We settled on a coffee shop in St. Charles. It had Picasso in the title. It seemed quaint. I was the only one who got coffee. It was called Black Forrest and was supposed to taste of cherry's. It served it's purpose about as well as Boomer likes modern art (he's not a fan).

St. Charles was an amazing detour in our plans. Apparently it hosts one of the largest craft fairs in the country. We spent our time on Main Street. Went in a few of the shops. Our favorite was April's. It was an eclectic hodge podge of ceramic items. Decorations. The shop was run by these three women.

One was this fiery redhead. Her personality reminded me of Julia Robert's in Runaway Bride. One of the men who worked there was getting married on Halloween to his partner and the wedding was appropriately themed. It was life goals if I wasn't a justice of the peace kind of gay.

We actually bought something. Usually boutique shopping involves a lot of browsing. We did that. But, this store was within three college students price ranges. The twins bought two hand towels. One for their mother and the other for their brother's fiancee. Miss Sara Bellum splurged and bought a good luck token for her dorm room.

Miss Sara Bellum

Me and The Mayor

A gallery was opened down the street. The artwork was reasonably priced if you weren't in a dorm room with cinder block walls. There was shoe shop named Gene's that catered to visiting Floridians. Bars and restaurants dotted the street. A club was in one of the buildings. If only we were twenty one.

I never would have thought to stop in St. Charles. Or even thought of it as a destination choice, but it's something I wish I'd been able to see more of. It was picturesque. You could spend a solid day exploring it or trying to get off the roundabout. Which, ever came first.

We returned to the Outlet Mall. A little off course for the days itinerary. We went in a book store. I believe it was called Books a Million or some variation of that. They sold Italian Vogue. That sold me. There were expensive fashion magazines. Paris Hilton graced the cover of one glossy mag. One magazine called Girls on Boys was particularly fascinating. The men were more Miss Sara Bellum's taste then mine. I can't help my fondness for the all American wind tousled virgins.

I ended up buying a discounted Chelsea Chelsea, Bang Bang hardcover. A Chelsea Handler original. Hopefully there will be an article coming out on soon after I read it, which might not be until Thanksgiving.

We were not as successful clothes wise as we might have hoped. We found one thing at Burlington Coat Factory. A pair of shorts for the sexy Sara Bellum. Rainbow was useless. Surprisingly it was Charlotte Russe that we did well. I got two scarves for two dollars each. I couldn't help myself. The twins tried on clothes. Bought clothes. So many I can't remember. Most of my time was spent trying on Boho hats and twerking to Britney Spear's “Pretty Girls” with what little ass I have.

Buy "Pretty Girls"

The Mayor

Right now all the lights are off and the twins are asleep and I'm trying to read a map for the Laumier Sculpture Park. Your favorite blogger is also wrapped in a cars blanket, because the twins have a penchant for cold weather. Something I soon figured out with complaints over the 85 degree heat.

Miss Sara Bellum

In a true spot of sophistication. We got takeout from Panda Express and ate our food in the sculpture park under the shade of a beautiful trade. I was in my four inch wedges and I had little idea that the pathways were gravel and so much was off road. The map I have spread out makes little more sense now then it did at the park. We planned on walking one of the three trails. Either the ten minute Whitaker Woods Trail or the twenty five minute Central Pathway. We did a little of all trails and marveled at all the work.

The Mayor (left) and Miss Sara Bellum (Right)

The Mayor

The twins seemed particularly entranced by the eyeball. I can't say what I liked the best. It was just nice being outside in comfortable weather looking at everything St. Louis has to offer.

The most interesting find was the Dog Museum. One I consistently refer to as the Doge Museum. The grounds were beautiful. You could bring your dog inside the museum. We had left our babies at home. There was little reading to do. There were portraits of dogs. Sculptures. It was a quick jaunt into man's best friend and a woman's too if the poodle has on a diamond choker collar.

There was a dog house nicer then my room. Portraits by Maude Earl. A British painter famous for her work on dogs. The most reading intensive part of the exhibit revolved around service dogs. It's hard not to be amazed at how capable these animals are.

The educational side of our stay in St. Louis ended with a stop at the Contemporary Art Museum of St. Louis and the Pulitzer Arts Museum. Both which are right next door to each other.

Our first stop was at the Contemporary Art Museum. It attacked me. There's a gash on my leg from where a table cut me open. It congealed before it raced onto my white shoes. I can still feel it throbbing.

The Pulitzer Arts Museum

The Contemporary Art Museum of St. Louis

It had portraits by Liat Yossifor that dealt with the aesthetic of cave painting and the intuitive act of finger painting. Her works were mostly solid white with different textures and only limited use of primary color. One of the works on display was entitled Yellow II.

Liat Yossifor

They were also doing an entire demonstration called the Sanatorium. We were only able to participate in one of the parts available. It was interactive and was supposed to gauge ways to help people achieve group therapy. We wrote down our darkest secrets tied it up with twine and read one of the previous respondents answer.

Mine discussed how lonely they felt even among people they were close to. The curator explained that was normal. It's disturbing how commonplace such an emotion can be.

Laurie Simmons

Modern art is fascinating. One of the most unique pieces told a story of different artists and what they were doing in each. It could have been a novel, but it was only a few short paragraphs.

The definitive pieces for me were the photographs by Laurie Simmons. The collection was entitled “Two Boys and a Love Doll”. It was staged photos of barbie dolls essentially, but there was something thought provoking behind it. I've never been more captured by artwork. I would hang it all in my entryway if I could.

The Pulitzer Arts Museum for all intensive purposes is a sculpture museum. I was so excited to hear that they were displaying works by Alexander Calder. His work is fascinating and it didn't disappoint. It was colorful and mesmerizing and three dimensional and obscene in it's creativity. I loved it. I couldn't stop myself from being a dork.

One woman asked me where I bought my shoes. She thought they were cute. She was right. It was the second best moment in the museum. It might have tied with the reflection pool. The museum was built by a famous architect. What other way could it go.

Alexander Calder

The other two artists on display were Richard Tuttle and Fred Sandback. I would argue that there were works were minimalist. I would even argue that art might be a strong word for what they were doing.

God, I sound just like Boomer.

11:39 pm

Last night at America's Best Value Inn.

My ear buds and I are listening to The 1975. The album not their new song “Medicine”. Found out that Miss Sara Bellum doesn't like them. Like truly doesn't like them. Strongly hates. It surprised me.

Buy "Medicine"

Our dinner consisted of going out scandalously clad. I was scantily covered. The Mayor didn't change. Miss Sara Bellum did. She informed me I looked like a cute lesbian from behind. I asked her if she would date me and she told there couldn't be two lipsticks in the relationship.

The Mayor

Miss Sara Bellum

We got sushi at a bar of all places. It was empty. There was one couple there. It was about seven o'clock. Couldn't tell you the name of the bar. The food was good. There was no atmosphere. Our bartender looked like a less muscular version of Jamie Dornan with more hair. I would match with him on Tinder.

I don't know why I can't find it. It's in a more affordable part of St. Louis. A place where lot's of drinking could be down at 2:00 in the morning. We at The Grove.

We had planned on going to Bailey's Chocolate Bar for dessert. We couldn't find it. @ Google get your life. Instead we drove around downtown St. Louis. This was our first time downtown. We'd avoided it the entire trip just to find out that it's mainly banks and Hard Rock Cafe with an expensive mall. We almost ran over the same man twice, while he was trying to cross the street. There comes a point when it's not all my fault.

In a spat of going hard or going home without google we ended up on the freeway. Picture Dionne in Clueless. That was me.

Our night ended with an intense game of Parcheesi. Nothing like a dice version of Sorry to make you want to punch a best friend in the face. At some point we reverted back to Zero. A trivia based question game that was less competitive with us playing. “Name one of the six states in Australia”. Answer that none of us know this answer.

That's Americans for you.

My music has switched to Lana Del Rey and 11:57 AM seems a good time to end today. Wrapped up in a heather pink infinity loop scarf...

Buy "High By The Beach"

August 13th
8:32 am

We're checking out of our hotel today. It's going to be the last time we ever drink Thomas coffee at America's Best Value Inn. I'm trying to pack up, but I'm really just listening to The 1975's “Medicine”, eating an apple. We still have a few more stops to make in St. Louis before we go home. I want to say I'm happy.

10:22 pm

Driving for multiple hours on end has not left me exhausted. Currently I have two infinity loop scarfs wrapped around my throat and I'm trying not fall asleep. Our trip has finally come to a close.

We got dressed in our floral attire. We packed up and cleaned up. We were ready to check out of our hotel. We did that and we made our way to the St. Louis Botanical Gardens. They were amazing.

Miss Sara Bellum

The Mayor

Miss Sara Bellum

The Mayor

Miss Sara Bellum

It was the most expenisve part of our trip. The admission was eight dollars, but I could have spent the entire day there. The weather was as perfect as something without climate control can be. At the moment the gardens are hosting a Lantern Festival. I wish we'd been there at night.

Even in broad daylight they were stunning. It was perfection. There was so much to do. We couldn't have fit it all into one day. We wandered aimlessly. There's something soothing about drifting about in well manicured lawns. There was a museum we didn't have time to go in. A house built by Henry Shaw. The man who founded the gardens.

His bachelor home was amazing. Goals stamped on a house. It turned out he was a writer. For a moment we thought we'd heard of him. We mistakenly mixed his last name with that of British playwright George Bernard Shaw. Similiar but not close.

The Mayor

The most fascinating thing about Henry Shaw was that the died a bachelor. He never married. He never had children. What an interesting thing for a wealthy bachelor. It makes one wonder what he did with his spare time.

The coolest section or the most unique was the tropical rainforest area. It was covered by it's own building and it's the closest I'll ever get to the rainforest. I got the beauty without the snakes and the poisonous dart frogs. It makes you realize just how amazing everything on this planet is walking among the flora.

At one point they had a Japanese Garden. There were koi. We got to feed the koi. I have never wanted to pet a fish before and yet there we were.

Multiple signs informed us that we were not allowed to wade in the lake. I wanted to ask who would do that. Then, I realized if there was a sign that meant someone had done it. Much like the “don't feed the red fox” sign. There must be a story behind that.

Me and The Mayor

Miss Sara Bellum

We were wrapped up in the gardens. It was therapeutic. I understand people's obsession with gardening better now. In a more traditionally me moment we went to the gift shop. Not a thing I could afford. A hundred dollar glorified cover up? Maybe once my student loans are paid off and I've been married to a reclusive millionaire.

The gardens were so amazing we missed mass.

The twins and I planned on attending mass at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Louis. We decided to devote more time to the gardens and visit the cathedral later.

This church had me reconsidering my stance on the justice of the peace. I wanted to walk down the aisle with 2,500 of my closest friends while the organ plays and Andre Boccelli sings to me in Italian. I'm afraid I was scantily clad for such a religious place.

There happened to be a tour going on. It was fascinating. The man was much older. He was probably more then disturbed by me. I thought he was funny. He gave quite an enjoyable tour. He pointed out so much of the religious imagery I never would have caught. How the three domes represented the son, the ghost, and the holy spirit. More amazingly how there wasn't a single drop of paint in the church.

How the founder of Tiffany helped design a few of the windows. How the inside was Byzantine and the outside was Romanesque. If your in St. Louis you need to see it. As a fake catholic I was moved. All of sudden I saw myself with a Kennedy on my arm.

I can't express what it feels like to be in this place. It's surreal. Taking a moment to just sit in silence and take it all in wasn't something we had to, but it was something we needed to do. Powerful. That's how I would describe it.

By this point we had over stayed our time in St. Louis. We left our donation. Stopped at Jack in the Box and drove home. Miss Sara Bellum spent the better part of the trip asleep and it was just me and the Mayor on a drive.

Miss Sara Bellum (left), The Mayor (middle), and Me (right)

We drove in silence. We listened to Katy Perry's One of the Boys. Only the fourth time I've listend to that album all the way through. I forgot how offensive “I Kissed A Girl” and “Your So Gay” are. They may have shock value, but she comes across as a terrible person.

We dropped Hilary Duff (buy Breathe In. Breathe Out on iTunes or your local Target). Turned on The Pink Print. Rode in silence for a lot of it. But, we talked about things. We never had before. That's the thing about road trips. It compresses your eight years of friendship into four days. We talked about their oldest brother. One I couldn't even tell you his name before this.

I hate driving. But, this was pleasant. Just a steady calm of dialogue and silence intermingling. We even turned up to some classic Shania Twain. I may or may not have forced them to listen to “She's Not Just A Pretty Face” on repeat.

Buy "She's Not Just A Pretty Face"

The trip was a success. Our friendship is intact. And, sitting here typing this at 10:55 pm is a far improvement over being at work. The only thing I missed was the dog and he's right here.

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A Day Out

7/22/2015

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Wednesday.

That's the day I do mostly everything in my life. There's something about a Wednesday. I spent the better part of this day with one of my favorite people from college. She has red hair just like Jenny and I think I must be attract friendships with red heads. Still she has a blonde aura about her. She's a blondie at heart.

The plan Blondie and I set up was to just go shopping. Stop wherever we wanted and browse as poor college students, there was almost nothing we could afford. Our first and most successful stop was at Urban Outfitters. It wasn't so much that we couldn't afford things in this store. It was more there were better ways we could spend eighty dollars, then on a piece of fabric masquerading as a dress.

The most exciting part of Urban Outfitters was their vinyl collection. The only place to go when you want all of the days hit records on vinyls. Beyonce's self titled set was there for fifty dollars, the exclusive Lana Del Rey Ultraviolence was there. The cover sported a sexy knee and the vinyls were translucent. Still. Not thirty five dollar cool. Taylor Swift's 1989 was on the wall, obscure indie bands had their place in between Ed Sheeran's X and the Muse's latest release Drones.

It really was pretty cool. They even had vinyl record players ranging from a $100 to $200 available for purchase. The price of free that was the one my Aunt gave me was a much better deal.

Side note that I swear I've seen a really nice one at Target for around a $100. Urban Outfitters really is a browsing, not a buying store.

We went into a few boutique stores. We weren't impressed. I did find some glittery shorts that would be perfect for a clubbing outfit. I was $35 dollars too poor for that investment.

The most surprising find was this little antique store. The antiques for the most part were inconsequential. There was a vinyl selection. Three dollars each and in among the pile was Olivia Newton-John's Have You Never Been Mellow and Linda Ronstadts iconic Simple Dreams.

They were perfect for my burgeoning record collection that includes Ricky Nelson, Elvis Presley, and The Sound of Music soundtrack. All of which were part of one of my not so recent videos “The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of... Shut Up I'm Trying To Talk Here.”

Blondie and I also stopped by this gorgeous church. All the doors were locked. It was Pentecostal. No surprise. All I wanted was to get my God on and I was God blocked.

We then ventured our way further into the heart of the city. Exhausted. Our thirst not quenched. I parallel parked (successfully). We walked. Lost more bodily fluids. Found a shop that boasted liquid refreshments. They had milkshakes. We moved on.

It was while traipsing down a tree covered boulevard that we discovered a quaint little coffee shop that could only be found in a city. It was cavernous. Expansive. Not surprisingly empty considering it was 3:00. We sat down gazed at the board. Finally settled on what to get. Blondie got a Mocha Frappucino (?) and I got a wonderful iced grean tea latte. It was perfect.

In true college student fashion, we kept walking around. Did a little more browsing. None of it serious and finally returned home about 5:00. I had more plans for the night. It might surprise you that I'd stayed in bed the past two days with practically no human contact.

I'd made it through this day with three inch wedges on.

I finally got home. I'd made the decision to let my mother in on these shoes. I've had them for a while now. It just wasn't something I've shared with her. They are certainly my most conservative. And, I said to myself today is the day. I'd prepped her on the fact that I'd wanted to be taller then Boomer.

I showed them to her and she called me a “cross dresser” (this was following an encounter where I had on a shirt with a peter pan collar). Needless to say I believe I'm going to succeed in being the family disappointment one more year in row. So, that's exciting. I think I'm even running unopposed.

The twins and I decided to go to the trivia night. Again. It went really great. We got to the coffee shop and low behold someone we knew from high school was working there. Apparently she'd moved out and was now living in apartment.

She was renting with this boy who's a complete stoner. Now she is an arts major, but even she knew this wasn't a good idea. It was so great that she was there. I was able to pester her with all the questions I had, since I've started going there.

Now the actual trivia was questionable. Team Name: 50 States of Beyonce. We didn't win best team name surprise of all surprises. We also got dead last place. Not kind of last place. We hardcore lost. It was really great. We left our team name off of one of the ballots, because we were doing so bad. I'm so ashamed that Beyonce had to be linked to our ineptitude.

Usually after a night on the town. We go to Walgreens. However, we decided to live on the wild side and go to Target. I think the Mayor bought starbursts?

It was really productive. A solid night.

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All My Couture Comes From Goodwill

10/18/2014

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I popped some tags in true Macklemore fashion two weeks ago.

Both Miss Sara Bellum and The Mayor came back for the weekend. I hadn't seen them, since a few days before college started back in August. It had been a while. They were back in town, so they could see their high school's new play. They told me it was good. I didn't get to see it with them. I had to go to work. I would have been free all day Saturday, but my general manager decided that we are no longer allowed to ask off from work, because we were a 'abusing' the privilege.

Forgive me for telling you when I can't work.

We decided that we were going to fly by our whims in our activities that day. Of course I had some thoughts in mind. We could go see Sex Tape, especially now that it was at the cheap theater. I could always borrow what Rosencrantz and I always do, and go get cupcakes at this cute like shop that's downtownish.

The twins had their own plans. We were going to the thrift shop in search of flannels, sweaters, and jean shorts. Goodwill was stop number one. It was an experience. I never shop at places like this. It is so much fun, though. Go with a friend and laugh and cry at these clothes. That is what we did.

I was actually rather successful in my shopping. I got these oversized sweaters that don't fit me at all. The kind of thing I would never buy for retail, but at three dollars you're like why not. They're fantastic. I'm going to look so hipster this winter. Be prepared world. Tight jeans a sweater will be my wardrobe.

We of course tried on things we had no intention of ever buying. I tried on this great pimp jacket with some faux fur. Although, I might have actually bought it if it fit me. Just so I could have it. Sarabellum and I posed in it. Me as da pimp and her as da side hoe. We looked really sexy, just to let you know.

After that we finished it up at the Salvation Army. That was a productive event for me. I found another sweater. It was this mint, aqua color and I tried it on. Oh, honey boo-boo child. It was like a baggy crop top. I did not even walk out of the dressing room. It was really bad.

The only clothing item I bought was this hounds tooth jacket. The label says Christian Dior. I mean anything's possible. I love this jacket. It has shoulder pads and everything. It's terrible and great. People are either going to say I have great style or wonder what the fuck I'm wearing to school every day.

We even stumbled upon the music section of the Salvation Army. That was a rough little area. I wasn't looking for anything. What could I possibly find. The Mayor however pulled out a Hilary Duff compilation from the mire and handed it to me.

You might have been able to guess that I love Hilary Duff. I only write about her for the blog basically every week. And, the Mayor has known me long enough to know about this. I own most things with Hilary Duff in it. I have strong foundation of her music, I have all her studio albums, but I'm missing a few things. Like, I don't have the Cinderella Story Soundtrack or the song “Any Other Day” from the What Goes Up Soundtrack. So, when she saw Hilary's Most Wanted collection I had to have it. There were only three songs on it I didn't have, but I'd considered buying the What Goes Up Soundtrack for one song, so it was worth it.

The check out process was definitely the most fun. We watched this woman get fired in front of our eyes. We are in line. And, there's this older woman with this gray wispy hair tied up in a bun, a large cross around her neck. Her name is Lydia.

This younger woman comes up behind her and says, “Lydia, you can go on break.”

That did not please Lydia. She yells at her that she was “tired of her treating her like shit.” From there it just slowly escalated from go on break, to go home, to your getting fired today. All this time we are standing there not able to purchase our lovely clothes and CD.

It was a wonderful day. I haven't spent time with people outside of school and work since school started. I have been meaning to see Rosencrantz, but it just hasn't happened. Sacajawea has been rushing and doing sorority things and I can't keep up with that. Really, the only person I've been spending time with is Thunder and that's because we drive to school together. And, we're in the same program in school.

It was so great to see people. And, spend time with old friends. My Barbie sweatshirt also came in that day. Really, other then the nightmare that was work, it was great. Although, Miss Sara Bellum and the Mayor told me that they had actually seen my Barbie sweatshirt in Forever 21. Was it in my local Forever 21. No. Let's also talk about how the day after I ordered it they did a free shipping promotion. Sometimes the world is out to get you, and I'm really not here for it. It's just like calm down world. Go to Goodwill and get you some Louboutins.

Buy online at Forever 21

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The First Semester Car Problems Curse

9/12/2014

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The Nagoya protocol. That's what part two of two is going to be about.

I'm lying to you. I was in the science building on campus, in one of the student lounges, with no good place to plug in my laptop, and I picked up one of the science journals, and there was a very long, comprehensive article on the Nagoya protocol. I never want to talk about it.

Hopefully, there will not be a third part to this two part drama that is my car. I do call him the grandfather, but lately he's been living up to that reputation, and I'm really not here for it.

I was on my way to school. It was Sunday, the day before school started. I was on my way to meeting on campus. I'm just driving along when I'm pushing the gas pedal, and it is not speeding the car up. If anything it is braking the car. I get into a turn lane, and only because God deemed it appropriate did I make it through the light before stalling on a side street right in front of this elementary school.

I do not have a cellphone. I am downtown, with a stalled car unable to call anyone. It is Sunday, all respectable places of business are closed, no one is at the school. It has to be a 100 degrees outside, and I am walking to find someone who will let me borrow their phone. Not to call my mother, but instead to call the person I was meeting at school. She would have to come get me. My mother and I were in a spitting match. It was not okay.

I find no one, I go back to the car, and I start the car up. Maybe, I can get it at least a little closer to the school. I make it to the first gate. Barely making it over twenty at any point in this, I get to the security guard. I tell him why I'm here. He tells me I need to park in the commuter lot.

I broke it down for that man right there. Sir, my car is stalling (You made it up the drive just fine, questioning my honesty), I will not and I cannot make it to the other side. I am parking over here and I hope you don't have a problem with that.

He acquiesces and I go to my meeting. I tell Thunder what happens and she insists that she'll help me. That makes sense. I don't know what I expected her to say. “Sorry, bitch, but I've got places to be. As in with my boyfriend.” Her boyfriend, shows up on campus, and collectively we go out to Auto Zone and buy some oil for the car. Why we thought this would fix the acceleration problem. I don't know, but we were convinced it was a possibility.

I leave the school. Using two main roads home, peeved when I'm stopped at the bottom of a hill and have to accelerate over the top of it. That was fun. I made it with no serious problems, other then it took me forever to cross an intersection.

I get home, tell my father what happened, he tells me it's either the fuel pump or the fuel filter and that I should use mother's car to get to school on Monday. My father is out of state as all of this is happening. I still very peeved with my mother refuse to ask her for it, and calm my nerves by turning up Havana Brown and taking side streets all the way to school.

The question of whether or not I made it on time is still not answered. I checked my school e-mail that morning, getting a new one from my Algebra teacher to bring my textbook to class, but my teacher that moved the class to an entirely different building could not be bothered. Because, I'm already late I don't mention to the history professor, that hey I'm in the wrong class. I decided I will just sit through it.

Thank, God some other poor confused student asked the important question and got us both to the right class. The best part of being so stressed out about driving to school, is that you can't really worry about what your first day of school is. The only thing that stands out to me is that my algebra teacher was too excited, too fast, and if I did not have a working knowledge of how to do Least Common Multiples, I would be failing that class so hard right now.

Oh, she's also decided that were having a “lab”. Woman, this is algebra. What do you mean by “lab”. This isn't biology and I will not be playing with any test tubes in algebra.

The drive home that day, I think was the most fun. This car braked in front of me, and when I tried to regain the speed, I ended up stalling, and I swung the grandfather into the nearest parking lot, which just so happened to be a porn store. Well, actually a toy store, because they specialized in other things. Dildos for everyone.

Once, home, I'm informed by my father that we need to get the fuel filter replaced at Valvoline. I barely made it home that day. I don't know how well he expected that to end. It ended okay. Valvoline doesn't change out fuel filters and they told us to go to Firestone. We go there, we leave the car, and my mother and I go grocery shopping. Although, I did force her to stop at McDonald's first for that $1 large sweet tea. Let me tell you everything. My day was okay.

Then. Father decides to call. I tell him we went to Firestone. He flips his shit. It costs too much money, I tell him I will pay for it. That makes it worse. We have to go back out to bring the car back home. He decided the fuel filter wasn't the problem. My mother and I go back out. I start the car, and we are almost home. I just have to make it through this one light, and I can coast down to our neighborhood.

That was not meant to be. The car stalls in the middle of the intersection. I keep saying that for dramatic effect, but other then the other people in the left hand turn lane, I wasn't really blocking anything. I was in the intersection, but it wasn't stopping through traffic.

The stoplight goes through it's cycle. I have the car turned off the whole time, flashers on, reading my Architectural Digest, just waiting for when the car will make it through the light. It turns green again. I start the car up. I press the gas and it lets me through the light.

Now that my father has heard about all this stalling he was worried enough to hire a mechanic to come out and replace the fuel pump. To the great shock of everyone the mechanic got in a car wreck that day and had to get fifteen stitches in his left arm.I don't know what else could happen. I hope nothing until next year.

That's what Thunder told me. I've inherited her curse as an outgoing senior. The First Semester Car Problem Curse.

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