Your fav has been steadily translating the Vogues he has purchased in Espana in order to bring you fashion advice from the opposite side of the Atlantic, and I think I have finally found a trend I can stand with. Or at the very least bring to you in confidence.
Micro bags can't fit your iPhone 6, they might be good for a tube of lipstick and your house keys, but they are certainly not the practicality of a Birkin Bag. Their being worn by Chiara Ferragni, Helena Bordon, and Nicole Richie to name a few celebrity trend setters.
The bag might be good for a night out on the town (especially if it's just the red carpet), but more importantly their an accessory. You can always add decorate your bigger purse, with it's mini cousin, or use it as a pop of color. Practicality isn't its purpose, but neither is the high heel. Options from Hermes, Chloe, Valentino, and Fendi show it's place within high fashion.
Picture it. It's about August 31st and I'm going through my twitter feed and I see that Havana Brown is talking about her song “Battle Cry”. I'm fan girling of course. This song is fucking amazing. I am living. I am living for the video.
Buy "Battle Cry"
This blogger Nick Tredrea reviewed her song and it was a short little piece, but all of his reporting was on point. So, I was like why not read more of his blog. I ended up reading every single thing over the course of two days. It was a holy experience if I'm being brutally honest.
Follow his Instagram here
I would like to imagine that this is what my blog would be like if I was Australian, but it would not be nearly as entertaining.
He also has a YouTube channel. Right now there's only a few videos. I don't know what the posting schedule is. I think it's funny. I really enjoyed it. It's certainly better then mine.
Subscribe to his YouTube channel here:
Horoscopes are completely full of shit, but that doesn't stop me from finding out what my Taurus self is up to. I check it in the newspapers when I'm visiting my grandparents. I get supremely annoyed when I can't find it in Cosmopolitan. Last month's accurately predicted that I would be busy with work throughout June.
I realized that I am witty and charming. However, divine inspiration for today's article came from Kacey Musgraves (Yes, Same Trailer, Different Park Kacey Musgraves). In her song “Follow Your Arrow” she tongue in cheek remarks that “If you don't save yourself for marriage you're a whoreable person”. So, instead of “horoscopes” we have “whoroscopes” to fit my tendencies better.
Horoscopes are just fun things to play with. Enjoy. Revel in. Some people are such fun suckers and they refuse to enjoy a good horoscope. We are not talking about building your life around your daily horoscope. But, did it end up that badly for Jennifer Lopez in Monster In Law? No. She got a sexy doctor, the day her horoscope told her she would find love.
One day I was just going through all the horoscopes I'd found on tumblr with some people and we had the most fun. Laughing at how ridiculous some of them and how accurate some of them are. If you ever want to find my horoscopes on tumblr there's a search button on the top of my tumblr page. Just put in 'Taurus' and it will come right up. I tag all of my horoscopes with my sign.
Below are some of my favorite horoscopes (taken from tumblr) and the birthdays for all of the signs in case you too have convinced yourself that your an Aquaurius.
Aries: March 21-April 19
Taurus: April 20-May 20
Gemini: May 21-June 20
Cancer: June 21-July 22
Leo: July 23-August 22
Virgo: August 23-September 22
Libra: September 23-October 22
Scorpio: October 23-November 21
Sagittarius: November 22-December 21
Capricorn: December 22-January 19
Aquarius: January 20-February 18
Pisces: February 19-March 20
If the signs hate you:
Zodiac Signs as Madonna's 12 Billboard Number One Hits
The Signs as Female Pop Stars
Who Will Die on the Titanic?
The "Gay" Squad
What the signs REALLY Want
Signs From Most to Least Heterosexual
Signs As Their Favorite Female Rapper
It should come as no surprise that there is a special edition of Friday Favorites on the Madonna album that just dropped this week. Now, if you didn't know Madonna was dropping this album. I don't know where you have been. My blog might as well be renamed “madonnna.com”
Of course I bought Queen M's latest release, her 13th album. I spent far too much money on it. I got the super deluxe edition and $30 down and two hours later I have finally finished listening to a masterpiece. At the end of the year I do reviews of every album I've bought released during that year. It gives time to really live with the album, but I know this is going to be one of my favorite releases so far.
Critics have been calling it a perfect blend of what MDNA and Hard Candy were not. These were the two albums Madonna previously released. I love both of these albums and it always annoys me when people talk bad about them. These albums are almost always described as a desperate attempts to remain relevant. The point of a pop star is being relevant. I don't understand the criticism.
I disagree with the assertion that this album is the culmination of what these two albums failed at. I really like Rebel Heart. It does run long with at over seventy minutes if you get the deluxe edition. It is ballad heavy, but the ballads are good. A few more frentic Diplo numbers would not be something I would be opposed to, but the record as a whole is solid.
It will be hard to escape Madonna in the following months. Her tour starts off this August and in the meantime she'll be performing “Living For Love” and most certainly “Ghost Town” to get one radio hit off this record that is full of memorable moments. She's doing an entire week on Ellen starting this Monday.
There are very few songs on this album I would call misses, “Veni Vidi Vici” would be one of those. It's cringe worthy references to past hits is too much for a hardcore fan, but is still expertly crafted. Her song “Vogue” has once again been interpolated into a song (remember one of the final moments of “Deeper and Deeper) with an inclusion in the sexually explicit “Holy Water”.
I think that the deluxe edition is the version of this album you should buy. The standard ends on “Wash All Over Me”, which although a solid song does not anchor the album quite the way “Rebel Heart” does as a closing track.
If you love Madonna the way I do, of course you need the Super Deluxe edition, but you also didn't this article to remind you that the Queen is back. The Super Deluxe edition comes with a second disc of four new songs and two remixes of “Living For Love”. Similar to the way the MDNA album was set up. She is planning on tying ticket sales for the Rebel Heart Tour with the purchase of the album and that might be a more effective way of going about buying this album.
And, if I had to rate on a scale of 1 to 5 Bubbles, I'd give it a 4. Just a ½ bubble more then the rating Rolling Stone awarded it.
As comes up in dinner conversation, I mention how attractive I think A$AP Rocky is (not to be confused with A$AP Ferg). Sacajawea's boyfriend hardcore judges me and she informs me that her parents would freak out if she brought him home. To be fair my parents who probably die. Half of my family would disown me, it wouldn't go well.
On the bright side. I'll never meet A$AP Rocky. And, if I did. I would not be good for his image. This boy is ratchet, but I love it. I don't know. I just feel like he's intelligent and can hold good conversation. He dresses well and if my parents could get past him being black, I'm sure they still wouldn't be fine.
I watched the videos to all of his singles for Long. Live. A$AP and his new single for his upcoming album. I was really not a fan of the first single “Goldie”. It was okay, but it was not life. The video was really cool, though, although I was not a fan of his grill- if that's what you call it. It just wasn't for me. But, I like the video it was all set in Paris and he was jamming out with this boy in his car and I liked it.
The next single was the big, breakout hit for him. It's “Fucking Problems”. Can we just talk about how every time I am shocked by how many times they could fit fuck into this song. I can't even. This song had everything. Drake got into it and you know he made that song “Tuesday” a hit. Then 2 Chainz came in and I just think 2 Chainz is adorable. Kendrick Lamar had a few verses. He's critically acclaimed. I heard his debut album. I was not a fan, but I think he's a good rapper. I just don't appreciate him coming for Nicki Minaj. Like excuse you, you rude ass bitch. This is Nicki Minaj, you better act like you know.
Do you remember when Lil Wayne caused waves when he rapped “beat that pussy up like Emmett Till”. Now if you're like me you didn't remember that Emmett Till was an African American brutally murdered for flirting with a white woman back in the fifties. That was an incredibly intellectual reference. Now whether it was appropriate or not is another story. But, it still stands that it was intellectual of Lil Wayne.
Now I feel like “Wild For The Night” could have been a hit if A$AP Rocky hadn't pushed it into harder hip-hop. He had Skrillex on it. You know Skrillex is that underground DJ. This could have been a major crossover for him. But, I respect his decision to stay with his roots and I really like the song anyway. So, Kudos to him .
The other single “Fashion Killa” had Rihanna in the music video. No explanation needed for how great it is. I need Rihanna to date A$AP for me. If I can't have him. Someone else needs to. And, I want it to be someone like Rihanna. Someone who is up to the standards of me.
Buy "Fashion Killa"
His latest single for his yet unnamed sophmore album is called “Multiply” it's got Juicy J on it. You know he's always there for a good time. I'm here for it. I will be buying the new A$AP Rocky album. I really like him. He also did a guest spot on the Tinashe album, Aquarius, with “Pretend”. But, that's something to check out if you want.
He's really cute, so there's that. Anna Wintour has put him in Vogue. That boy looks fine as hell in it. I have that issue. It is good. I am just here for him all around and I will not be judged for liking him. A$AP Rocky can take my body.
Also you should know that there were rumors that he was gay. I didn't know about them, but Sacajawea informed me of them. I thought you should know. They aren't true. If they are, we probably won't have confirmation until he's not relevant. You know how music in general is and hip-hop does have a lot of misogynistic tendencies. A rapper cannot be gay and be successful at this time.
I mean Sam Smith sneaked it in on us after three hit songs. He was like by the way I'm gay. If America is one thing, we like to pretend like we're not bigots. People don't even talk about the fact that Sam Smith is gay. It's not because it's not a problem, it's because if we don't talk about it. We can just pretend he's straight.
I tell people all the time and they're surprised. People do not talk about it. This is good for Sam Smith. It's out in the open and he had one of the best selling albums of 2014 with In The Lonely Hour. And, “I'm Not The Only One” is eating up the charts. Go you Sam Smith. Kill it.
Can you imagine if A$AP Rocky and Sam Smith were a thing. I like Sam Smith, but I just don't want to think about him having sex. Like no. Just stay cute and adorable. And, I'll pretend like you're not having good sex with my celebrity crush A$AP Rocky.
Because, yes I shamelessly stalked the entire blog after I found this out. I can't believe they didn't post my official resignation from the blog. I guess they really didn't want to be associated with me anymore. So, I'm just sorry that you didn't get double exposure that you deserve.
To everyone who doesn't know, Coco Peru, is a drag queen most well known for her segments on YouTube. I believe her real name is Garrett Watts, but that is just supposition on my part, since the YouTube channel that posts the Coco Peru videos is called Garrett Watts.
This is one of my few YouTube obsessions. I go hardcore for Tyler Oakley, Superfruit, Wilam's Beatdowns, RuPaul's Driving, Candidly Nicole, and Miss Coco Peru.
I truly am the worst person to ask about things about YouTube and the blog world. Tyler Oakley can go hard on youtubers to watch, I read one other blog. The Naked Nerdy Blogger run by this fantastic burlesque dancer Cherie Cheezcake. You should get into it. It's fabulous.
I'm not even sure if I'm doing this blog thing right. That's how little I know about blogs. Of course I know Perez Hilton, the big names, but I am not deep in this world. At this point, though, Perez Hilton's blog is basically his job. That boy posts all the time. I cannot keep up with all of that. Any diehard Perez Hilton fans, I bow down to you. I wish I had that kind of commitment.
There's not really a good way to describe Coco Peru and her antics. Some of you are going to hardcore judge me for loving Coco Peru so much. It's my reasons for loving her, though. I just think she's so incredibly funny and some of you are not going to connect with that. Coco Peru has this dry form of wit. That's just funny. It's not said in a humorous way, it just straight to the point, and you die.
Maybe, British comedy is a good way to describe Coco Peru. Take Cara Delevingne, she recounted this story in the July issue of American Vogue where she says her grandfather said “My trousers are yellower than my teeth.” She laughs and adds “he's a very funny man”.
That is not funny to me. You know just watch one of the videos and know that your favorite blogger is obsessed. Really if you've thought any of these gifs or photos are funny. You'll probably like Coco.
Also if you ever want to get Coco Peru's attention, she is just as shameless as Tyler Oakley. Tag him on tumblr or twitter and he's going to favorite that tweet. And if it's funny he's going to hit reblog so fast.
What's the point of dating if they don't go with your outfit?