Category: Bad

Jennnifer Lopez Teams Up With Giuseppe

8/26/2016

Jennifer Lopez is not content to stay nestled in the suburban middle class of Kohl's with her new capsule collection for Giuseppe Zanotti. The new collection is expected to launch January, 2017 with two new bags and a few pairs of shoes ranging from $795-$1,995.

A capsule collection to the uninitiated was an idea put forth by Donna Karan. It offers a limited amount of clothing that puts all the focus on “essential” pieces.

The new collaboration is called Giuseppe for Jennifer Lopez. It's touchingly original in name. Jennifer is sure to be in good hands after a pairing up Giuseppe did with Beyonce last year. The as yet unfinished product is roughly described to include wedge sneakers (a personal guilty pleasure), gladiators, and leather handbags.

The new accessories are sure to be tasteful. Jennifer has assured us that they are “bad ass” and they have “sparkle” and as long as their covered in Savorski crystals I certainly won't be complaining.

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The Winning Team

7/24/2015

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It's been a few weeks and I'm still glowing over the Supreme Court's decision in the Obergefell v. Hodges case. I wanted to take the time out to shout out the true MVP's in this trial. The five supreme court justices who voted in favor.

I'm fangirling over Sotomayor, Kagan, Ginsburg, Breyer, and Kennedy as embarrassing as that might be. I stan for them. They seem pretty cool. We will not speak of the other four justices who really need to get on the winning team. Honestly, I was surprised that the verdict was as close as it was with 5-4 in favor. I thought it would be a much higher majority.

What I'm really waiting for is the Lifetime Original Movie in which the four dissenting justices are cast as the villains. This was a historic decision and to be on the wrong side of social change is going to be really embarrassing for them. In a few decades we will have people saying that it took to long for this decision to be made.

Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote the majority opinion for this case. I feel like that's a big deal. Honestly, I didn't pay as much attention as I should have in my U.S. Government class. I definitely feel like Kennedy could have gotten it when he was younger. He's 78 now and I feel like in his twenties it would have been good. He went to Harvard and Stanford. So, he's smart. I just feel him.

Then, you have Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I feel like she would not approve of me saying this, but she's kind of a bad ass. I love her. Definitely, one of my favorite Supreme Court Justices. She's fiery. She's really short. She's only like 5'1. Some people call her the Notorious RBG (an homage to the Notorious B.I.G.). I love her and I am not surprised that she was one of the pro supporters of same sex marriage.

“Women belong in all places where decisions are being made.”
Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is bae if we're being perfectly honest. I love her. She went to both Cornwell and Columbia. Stand up for higher education.

The only other male who voted for this was Stephen Breyer. He's Jewish. Has that sexy bald spot going on. Bill Clinton picked him. He's gone to Stanford, Oxford, and Harvard. Someone went hard as fuck in their educational studies and I salute him. Turn up Stephen Breyer.

Sonia Sotomayor is also bae. We needed something other then white men on the Supreme Court and I'm so glad Obama picked her. I love her and that hair be on point all the time. I remember when Obama picked her. My father was so upset. I can't remember why, but I'm sure I blocked it out for a reason. Her education also be on fleek. She went to Princeton and Yale. Listen to Mama Nicki and stay in school and you too can be on the Supreme Court.

If you've seen Pitch Perfect 2 you might remember that one of the pieces of hate mail they received after Fat Amy showed her vagina to the president was from Sotomayor. Just a little fun trivia fact for you there. She's also Puerto Rican. Representing with Jennifer Lopez. I just need Sonia Sotomayor to slay everything.

Elena Kagan is our final Justice. She kills it to. She's also Jewish. I didn't know there was so much Jewish representation at the Supreme Court. Turn the fuck up for that. She was also picked by Obama. She's gone to Harvard and that's the same school Elle Woods went to and in my book that's all that matters.

All of the female Supreme Court Justices voted in favor of this ruling.

I'm just going to let that sit there Ruth Bader Ginsburg was quoted as saying that she thought there should be 9 women on the Supreme Court. I agree with her. We've had 9 men for so long that there's no reason there shouldn't be a time that we have 9 women.

Shout out to my favorite Supreme Court Justices for just being awesome. Changing the world and pushing social change is something I wish I had the ability to do and do so effortlessly. While, rocking those loose fitting gowns. Kill it.

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Best Albums of 2014

12/27/2014

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Let's be really clear about this list. It is simply a review of the albums I have bought this year. I could never numerically list my favorite albums for a year. I could knock some out of the top ten, but let's be honest. I love music too much. Now almost all the music I got this year, I bought the day it came out.

You know I like my CD. That means some albums I may have talked about or have wanted, I do not have. RuPaul never released Born Naked in a physical format, Troye Sivan didn't release TRYXE physically in the United States, and Azealia Banks will be putting Broke With Expensive Taste out in January. It will make next years list.

I'm going to try to be a cold calculated bitch to my faves. Will see how well this goes. I'll give you a general rating out of five bubbles and include the song I played the most individually according to my computer.

Buy Lights Out

Lights Out: Ingrid Michaleson
3 ½ Bubbles
I bought this album as a spur of the moment seven dollar purchase at Target. I really do enjoy it's acceptable hit “Girls Chase Boys” and its a nice album. It's a good folk pop. It's not my favorite, though. Like, I think it's good album, but I don't listen to it very often. The ballads are what bring this album down. It just drags. That being said there are some standout tracks including “Warpath”, “Time Machine”, and “One Night Town”.

Most Played Song: "One Night Town"

Buy 1989

1989: Taylor Swift
4 Bubbles
Who else was shocked at how great this album was. I bought it the moment it came out. The Target staff was still putting it up and I had to reach past them to get it. This album is so much better then “Shake It Off” predicted. I know I said I wouldn't it. Of course I did. I'm so glad, I did. I am now a proud and out Taylor Swift fan. This album is everything.

Most Played Song: Tie between “Welcome To New York” and “Blank Space”

A.K.A.: Jennifer Lopez
3 ½ Bubbles
This is Queen J.Lo's latest album. I was hyped for it. I wanted it so badly. And, it was kind of a disappointment. One of my favorite albums ever was her previous studio album Love? A.K.A. Really wasn't going to top that. As much as I've listened to the album it's not my favorite. And, this rating is actually based on the standard ten track album. I really love this album until “Booty” ends and then it just slides down. If you're not a Jennifer Lopez fan and you want this album. Get the standard edition. Its a more solid performance over all, then the deluxe.

Most Played Song: “Booty” featuring Pitbull

Buy A.K.A.

Aquarius: Tinashe
3 ½ Bubbles
Critics adored this album. I think it's solid, but like many albums I don't enjoy listening to it per say. I see the artistry and I think it was executed well, but Tinashe wanted to be both an R&B starlet and an expiremental mix tape girl. She tried to make it work. I don't know if it did. Some songs I thoroughly enjoyed were the title track, “Bet”, “All Hands On Deck”, and “Wildfire”

Most Played Song: “2 On”

Buy Aquarius

Cheek to Cheek: Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett
4 Bubbles
I bought it for Lady Gaga. Real talk. That's why the world bought it. This is a jazz album. I tentatively think it was well executed. I don't listen to jazz. When I do listen to this album I jam, but is it going to take the place of ARTPOP? Absolutely not.

Most Played Song: “I Can't Give You Anything But Love”

Buy Cheek to Cheek

Food: Kelis
4 Bubbles
This is an album. I don't listen to the songs individually when I listen to Kelis it is the full experience. This is a soul funk R&B album. I love it. It may not be for everyone, but it's an insanely well executed project.

Most Played Song: Tie between “Bless The Telephone” and “Jerk Ribs”

Buy Food

Flashing Lights: Havana Brown
3 Bubbles
I know technically this album came out in 2013, but the version I have of this album came out in 2014. So, I'm going to include it anyway, you know I love Havana Brown. That said it's surprising how not good I thought Flashing Lights was. Like it's everything to me, but I'm like wow this isn't actually tht good of an album. This happened, because of the lackluster quality of some of the filler tracks that are strung together four songs long. When this album is at it's high. It can't be beat. At it's lows it hurts. It also come as a surprise to me that the most played song I had was not “Warrior”, “We Run The Night”, “Big Banana”, "Naughty” or “Flashing Lights”. All songs I would say were better, but a song I would label as filler, but apparently incredibly enjoyable filler.

Most Played Song: “You'll Be Mine”

Buy Flashing Lights

Buy It's The Girls!

It's The Girls!: Bette Midler
3 ½ Bubbles
Legendary Bette Midler released yet another studio album. It is a collection of standard girl group songs. Executed well, not as well as other albums by her. I thoroughly enjoyed it.The album also offers great love advice.. Take the staggeringly over optimistic “Tell Him”. Sure just tell your crush you'll never leave him in his whole life. That you'll love him forever. That's not creepy. Side note do not go out of your way to get the Target edition. It's just two sappy ballads that are sub par for the set and don't add much to the record.

Most Played Song: “He's Sure The Boy I Love”

Going to Hell: The Pretty Reckless
4 ½ Bubbles
One of the best albums of the year. Obsessed. I love. Every song is almost perfect. It strays a little too hard rock for me at times, but that's because I'm not usually one of hard rocks biggest proponents. Buy this album. It's fronted by Gossip Girl alumn, Taylor Momsen, and man does she kill it as a provocative Lolita figure.

Most Played Song: Tie between “Heaven Knows”, “Why'd You Bring A Shotgun To The Party”, and “Fucked Up World”

Buy Going To Hell

Motion: Calvin Harris
4 Bubbles
DJ Calvin Harris has hit his stride. This album is everything you want, radio friendly pop fodder with plenty of bangers. The fantastic Big Sean feature with “Open Wide” or the Tinashe led “Dollar Signs”. He did a great job creating a flowing record. It also doesn't hurt that he back loaded the album with it's best songs. Another collaboration with Ellie Goulding hit home and you should check this album out before these songs hit the top ten.

Most Played Song: Tie between “Pray to God” featuring Haim and “Dollar Signs” featuring Tinashe

Buy Motion

Buy The New Classic

Nick Jonas: Nick Jonas
3 Bubbles
I wanted more from this album. There are no shirtless pictures in the booklet, so what the fuck Nick. But, just at it's core I'm not in love. It doesn't turn me off. I'm not opposed to buying another Nick Jonas album, I'm just not entirely bought into this Nick. The lyrics really do bother me on some of these songs. “If I can't have you, no one will”. It's kind of creepy. His duet with Mike Posner is disgusting. There are just some things that turn me off to this album. That said I was pleasantly surprised at how good the duet with Demi Lovato was, and you know I don't like her.

Most Played Song: “Numb” featuring Angel Haze

The New Classic: Iggy Azalea
2 Bubbles
I want to read this album, but the hits bolster it just enough for me not to tear it apart. I am not a fan of this album. The Reclassified is probably the shit. Streamlined with the best. All the effort was put into the hits. I don't know. She makes stabs at 'real' hip hop and it just doesn't strike home like her pop renderings. There were some album only songs that I adore like “Fuck Love” and the ridiculous “Lady Patra”. I even like “Walk The Line”. But, when paired against the hits. The other songs fall flat. This doesn't fulfill the joy of an album experience.

Most Played Song: “Fancy” featuring Charli XCX

Buy Nick Jonas

Platinum: Miranda Lambert
3 ½ Bubbles
Miranda is my country darling, I love her music. This is a rambling album and it works. It does, but as a rambling album some songs turn me off to the overall aesthetic. “Little Red Wagon” being the biggest put down. And, I read in a review that they consider it a stand out track, so I might just be missing something. There's her trademark humor in tow with “Old Shit” and “Gravity is a Bitch”. I am also not impressed with lead single “Automatic”. It's kind of condescending and it doesn't really sound like Miranda. It also must be known that I am overwhelmed with both “Smokin' and Drinkin'” and “Platinum”. They barely missed being the my most played song.

Most Played Song: “Something Bad” feauturing Carrie Underwood

Buy Platinum

Queen of the Clouds: Tove Lo
3 Bubbles
Another album I want to get into. I didn't it. It didn't click for me. “Like Em Young” did resonate with me. I just want to send this song to my crush anonymously and say how does this make you feel. The concept of splitting the album into three distinct parts of “The Sex”, “The Love” and “The Pain”. That was really cool. I know someone who loves this album. Give it a shot. I'm going to keep trying. Tove Lo as a pop star intrigues me.

Most Played Song: “Not On Drugs”

Buy Queen of the Clouds

That's Christmas to Me: Pentatonix
3 Bubbles
People went gaga for this acapella Christmas album this year. I bought it because of Mitch and Scott. It's acceptable Christmas fair. It does not compete with Celine Dion or Bette Midler. If you want it I say go get it.

Most Played Song: “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy”

Buy That's Christmas To Me

Shakira: Shakira
3 ½ Bubbles
Shakira did a stint on The Voice and tried her damnedest to get American radio play by throwing Rihanna onto the lead off single “Can't Remember To Forget You”, but never the less her latest album didn't produce a sizable hit in the United States. I enjoy this album. I don't think it's as good as say Laundry Service, She Wolf, or Sale El Sol. But, it's an easy breezy listen that stands up stronger then either part of the Oral Fixation series. I also thoroughly enjoyed her duet with country superstar, Blake Shelton that was trashed by more then one critic.

Most Played Song: “Can't Remember To Forget You” featuring Rihanna

Buy Shakira

Sex and Love: Enrique Iglesias
3 Bubbles
This is one of those weird albums that works, but I can't honestly tell you it's a good album. It's Enrique Iglesias. I've listened to this album numerous times and I love it. Also, the song I trashed when I compared him to Shakira is my most listened to song. This is just a thoroughly good ride. You can't take it as artistry, but more as good fun. Whether that be “Bailando”, “There Goes My Baby”, “Physical” or “Beautiful”. It works because Enrique plays off of his public persona. If you like his public image. You should really enjoy this album.

Most Played Song: “I'm A Freak” featuring Pitbull

Buy Sex and Love

Buy Sheezus

Sheezus: Lily Allen
2 ½ Bubbles
Thunder and J.Lo bought me this album for my birthday. I still like Lily Allen, but this album blends. Most of the tracks are too similar. There are definitely some songs I jam out to, but it's just not my favorite thing this year. I wouldn't avoid it, still it's not on the top of my list. Some of the songs I really enjoyed were the title track, “Close Your Eyes” and “Silver Spoon”. If you are a die hard Lily Allen. Buy this album. You need it as part of your collection.

Most Played Song: “Hard Out Here”

Sound of a Woman: Kiesza
3 ½ Bubbles
Solid and unique debut by dance singer Kiesza. This is artistic dance music in the highest regard. It doesn't hit home for me quite hard enough and some of the more R&B inspired tracks leave me bored. However, I like her and would look into her next album. If you didn't hear her almost hit “Hideaway” that's something you should get on.

Most Played Song: “Hideaway”

Buy Sound of a Woman

Super Critical: The Ting Tings
4 ½ Bubbles
The Ting Tings are one of the winners this year in music. True they are my favorite band, but this album got to me. First listen I was set on three bubbles. A few more spins later and this new disco sound was everything I wanted from The Tings. It's light fun filled and some of the tracks I initially questioned, I am now in love with. The only two that haven't quite clicked are “Wabi Sabi” and “Green Poison”, but I still like them. Of the two singles released so far, I believe “Do It Again” is the best.

Most Played Song: “Failure”

Buy Super Critical

Volume 3: Pentatonix
3 ½ Bubbles
3rd EP from acapella group Pentatonix it includes covers of some of the years most popular songs. When you play a game like that it comes down to whether you like the original version better or not. They usually hold there own when it comes to the covers. It's the original song “Papaoutai” that features violinist Lindsey Stirling that disappoints me the most. I had so much hopes, because it's Lindsey Stirling and it did not come through.

Most Played Song: “See Through”

Buy Volume 3

Ultraviolence: Lana Del Rey
4 ½ Bubbles
Moody songstress Lana Del Rey came out with her second album the same day as Jennifer Lopez. I like this album better. Maybe not at first, but it's sunk into my soul. Every song is a masterpiece. I've played each individually and I don't know what keeps it from being a five bubble experience for me. Lana Del Rey knew what she wanted for this album and she delivered. I would recommend it to anyone. My mother and Boomer both claimed that they preferred Born to Die better. I told them to never talk to me again.

Most Played Song: “Ultraviolence”

Buy Ultraviolence

The Voyager: Jenny Lewis
4 ½ Bubbles
Adore would be too light of a word for how I feel about Jenny Lewis. If you want to know what emotional state I was in for a better part of 2014, you can listen to this album. It's soft, modern rock. It's easy listening. The only reason it's not a straight five bubbles is that one of the final songs “Aloha & The Three Johns” just didn't quite sit well with me. If I was to tell you an album you need to buy this year, it would be this one. Both Cosmopolitan and Billboard included this album on their year end lists.

Most Played Song: “She's Not Me”

Buy The Voyager

Buy The Pinkprint

Sucker: Charli XCX
4 Bubbles
This album could be a grower or I could hate it. Do not be fooled by “Boom Clap” this is not a traditional pop album. Like it is, but this is kind of punk rock with pop thrown in. “Boom Clap” doesn't really fit the album that well. It was just a major hit. I enjoy this album, but I am on the fence. High on the fence, but on the fence none the less. Enter into this album at your own risk, but I think Charli created a winner. Fans of her last outing True Romance may be disappointed. It is not even close to the same release as True Romance and that came out just last year.

Most Played Song: “Break The Rules”

Buy Sucker

The Pinkprint: Nicki Minaj
4 Bubbles
I really haven't had a chance to live with The Pinkprint. I am a huge Nicki fan, and I'm just so excited with the new Nicki music. It's introspective, but mantains that rap braggadocio, and there are some solid pop moments as well. The one that really stands out to me is “The Night Is Still Young”. Download it. It's going to be released as a single. Something I am holding against Nicki on this album is under utilizing Beyonce on “Feeling Myself”. Not that the song is bad, but you have Beyonce and this what you give us. What happened. At 21 tracks long, some of the songs could have been cut, but that's a hip-hop album for you. There are too many songs and it's too long and you love it. Queen Nicki, slayed it.

Most Played Song: “Bed of Lies” featuring Skylar Grey

Favorite Album of the Year: Tie between Going to Hell by the Pretty Reckless, Super Critical by The Ting Tings, Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey, and The Voyager by Jenny Lewis.

Buy

Favorite Song of the Year: “Failure” by The Ting Tings

Buy "Failure"

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Omega, Alpha, And Beta

11/28/2014

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As usual I am behind the trends, I just started watching Teen Wolf. Isn't this a surprise. I am almost always talking about music, but this week here I am telling you about Kingdom and Teen Wolf. This is an anomaly.

Now I am obsessed with Teen Wolf. Much like Kingdom, I am not watching it for the quality story line. I'm just slowly realizing how much of a whore I am, and I'm okay with that. At this point in time you probably understand the general idea of Teen Wolf. There are werewolves, werewolf hunters, high school.

I actually started watching it, because of Tumblr. I just said this looks like my show. Hot boys and hot girls. What could possibly go wrong.

The four male leads are just take me now kind of hot. Tyler Posey is the main one. And, he is definitely attractive, but really it's his eyes. He has dimples and cute brown eyes. I'm just like slay me. He's just really cute.

Just like Dylan O'Brien. He is not hot in the typical sense. He isn't hot, actually. He's just cute child, that I can't even handle. I am also confused by his character. Is he bisexual or is he gay. I just don't know. In the show his character is obsessed with this girl named Lydia, but he asked this one gay guy if he was attractive. It real messes me up. Dylan O'Brien should be everyone's baby. I love his character. He is the only reason I went to see The Maze Runner.

Then, there is Colton Haynes. He is straight sex. I try to like his character, because he is so attractive. I just watch the show and I want him to take my body. Then, he opens his mouth and I'm not here for it. I was actually really feeling him towards the end of season 1, then he messed it up. Now, I'm trying to like him, so I can shamelessly be obsessed with him. If you follow me on tumblr you probably now how obsessed I am. Like all my tumblr was pictures of him for a minute there.

At the top of the food chain is Tyler Hoechlin. Now he is attractive, but he's such a father figure to me. He's kind of like a DILF. Which, I might add is the creepiest thing. Who started this as a thing. No. We should not want to have sex with people who we think of as our fathers. Just stop.

The women are just as cute. Crystal Reed and Holland Roden are everything to me. Their friendship is weird. I don't get it, but I like it. One of them plays the whore and I'm here for it. I just love Holland Roden as Lydia. Lydia is one of my favorite characters, although I did not start out liking her. Crystal Reed's character is the main love interest, but the thing is I just don't care about her love with Tyler Posey.

Holland Roden

Crystal Reed

This show is kind of like Orange is the New Black in that sense. No one really cares about the problems of the two main characters. It's kind of like, shut up about it already. I want them to move on.

The plot itself is basic. It kind of scares me. That's so embarrassing, but I cover my eyes when I watch this show sometimes. I'm not good at handling that kind of stress.

There are also a lot of wholes in the plot. In the first season this one character kept dying. There is blood coming from his mouth. He has to be dead. Next episode. No explanation, no one acts like it's weird that he is among the living.

Or the other time he gets shot multiple times with a bow and arrow, then shot in the heart with a gun. He is dead. The two killers are not even bothering with him. Then, the big bad werewolf comes along, and this character miraculously is able to take him down. Like how did he go from dead to I'm in perfect condition to beat up my stronger opponent.

Writers. Think through your life choices. I'm going to have to start reading fan fiction to explain all the gaping holes. That being said. It is actually enjoyable. It has substance. Unlike Kingdom, I really do like watching it.

If you judge me for watching it, I feel you, I understand. But, to be honest I'm not really watching it for the plot. And, I'm okay with that.

I see a lot of good plot.

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This Is Halloween

10/31/2014

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Happy Halloween, everyone. I hope you are doing something real exciting. I was supposed to be going to a murder mystery party today. Instead I am at work. We were not allowed to ask off from work, and I was like please god. He did not answer. Hopefully it is not busy. We shall see.

Now some of you may be hosting a party tonight, just looking for some good music to put on in order to be festive. That is what I am here to do. I love all of these songs. With any luck these should be the creepy that you did not think of to add to your Halloween play list. I will not insult your intelligence. I'm sure you got the cornerstones: “Thriller”, “Disturbia”, “This Is Halloween”.

Last year Queen B deposited some perfect Halloween music for us. “Haunted” should have the feel that you want for a Halloween party. It is minimalist and it's also called “Haunted”. So, that lyrical content is on point. I also think her cover of Amy Winehouse's “Back to Black” with Andre 3000 is a strong contender to being added to your play list. If you don't feel it, maybe the original Amy version is more to your liking.

Buy "Haunted"

For BoA's first and only English studio album, she did a cover of girl group Monrose's “Scream”. It might not be perfect Halloween mood, but unlike Christmas we do not have albums dedicated to the subject. I like BoA's version better, because I like BoA. She's a major K-Pop, J-Pop star in line with the stardom of Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera.

Buy "Scream"

The video is what makes “Two Black Cadillacs” a perfect song for Halloween. It's about this possessed car that ends up killing a man. Perfect for Halloweeen. And of course the song itself is about the same thing. Killing a man who has done you wrong. Carrie Underwood always reinventing how to get even with a man.

Buy "Two Black Cadillacs"

Known for “Forget You”, his spot on The Voice, and his recent comments on rape Cee Lo Green released a solid soul R&B album The Lady Killer. I still like the album. I just don't know what he's doing with his life. But, one of the songs on it is “Bodies”. An evident precursor to his thoughts on rape now that I think about it. Still perfectly creepy for Halloween. It is heavily suggested by the song that his lovers body is found dead in his bed. The backing music alone should be strong enough to grab your attention.

Buy "Bodies"

Now this is more of a fun lyrically relevant Halloween song by Diablo Swing Orchestra. Part rock band, part Orchestra, part Opera their fun and silly song “Voodoo Mon Amour” should shift the underlying emotional stress of previous song “Bodies”.

Buy "Voodoo Mon Amour"

You should be aware that I adore Fergie. I mean I did do a week of Fergie. So, there should be no surprise that her song “Voodoo Doll” found it's way onto this list. With hushed lyrics (I don't have arms, I don't have any human qualities) and talk of stalling the devil and looking into crystal balls. Both musically and lyrically it should find space on a Halloween playlist.

Buy "Voodoo Doll"

“I'm In It” may not exemplify Halloween, but Kanye West throws in enough robotic screams to make it a terrifying pop/rap experience on his last album Yeezus.

Buy "I'm In It"

Of course Lady Gaga found her way into Halloween. With more then one song to choose from, I settled on “Bloody Mary” and “Monster” as exemplary Halloween lore.

Buy "Bloody Mary"

Buy "Monster"

With Lana Del Rey almost all of her songs have the right atmosphere for a Halloween bash. You could pick either of the title tracks off of albums Born to Die or Ultraviolence and have a perfect Halloween slow jam. However, “Gods and Monsters” off of her EP Paradise is much more inclined towards the spirit of the holiday over the other two tracks. Halloween is all about being in the lands of Gods and Monsters.

Buy "Gods and Monsters"

Queen Madonna after thirty years in the music business has made more then enough music for at least one of her songs to make it's way into this list. Let's start with 2012's “Gang Bang”. All about shooting her lover in the head over and over, meeting him in hell and doing it all over again. Halloween enough for you?

A Justin Timberlake backed “Voices” closes out her Hard Candy, just in time for Halloween. There are voices in “your head”. Creepy bells to close out the track and enough lyrical content to suggest being possessed to warrant a nod towards the month of October.

This song is much more fun and upbeat. It was a leftover from Like a Prayer and it found its way onto the B-Side of her “Cherish” single. Something is “Supernatural”, some have suggested that it is the touch of your hand. While, I just like to think it was made for Halloween. If you like it. Rip the song from youtube. You can't download it legally from iTunes or anything like that.

Buy "Gang Bang"

Buy "Voices"

You should be familiar with Phil Collins classic “In The Air Tonight”. Knowing the back story to this song, should help you realize why it's perfect for tonight. It has been said that the lyrics tell the story of someone drowning, crying out for help, and that person choosing not to save them. It has also been suggested that the narrator is Phil Collins himself, who saw all of this happen, but was unable to do anything to stop it. Over the years Phil Collins has always denied that this song means “anything”. It's still a fascinating story none the less isn't it?

Buy "In The Air Tonight"

There should be no explanation for why The Pretty Reckless's song “Going to Hell” made the cut. If you like this song by the Taylor Momsen fronted band, you might also be interested in their song “Zombie”.

Buy "Going To Hell"

We all know Rihanna's major smash “Disturbia” and scene stealing “Russian Roulette”, but what about the opener to album Rated-R, “Mad House”? Under two minutes long. There's no reason not to let her open up your Halloween bash.

Buy "Mad House"

Silly Christian band The W's is my final suggestion with their song “The Devil is Bad”. Between all the zombies, bloody mary's, drownings, and debauchery of the night it might be good to remember that the devil is bad.

Buy "The Devil Is Bad"

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Mushrooms and Coke

10/18/2014

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I have owned this album for a good bit of time now. Actually, I bought the day of Boomer's going away party. That was what, the first Thursday of August? The second. Needless to say it's been a bit of a while.

And, I liked it when I bought it, but I'm obsessed now. I've been listening to it every day. It's everything. Jenny Lewis is everything.

And, I liked it when I bought it, but I'm obsessed now. I've been listening to it every day. It's everything. Jenny Lewis is everything.

You just cannot understand my love for Jenny Lewis. She is part of my childhood. She was sort of a child star. The really important part was that she was in my favorite movie as a child, well one of my favorites. It's a truly terrible film. It's called Troop Beverly Hills and it has Shelly Long from Cheers in it so that's exciting.

Actually it's not a bad movie. I have made so many people watch this movie. I still laugh. I still cry. I still love it. The basic premise is that Shelly Long is the recently separated mother of daughter Hannah Nefler (played by Jenny Lewis) and she takes over as the leader of her girl scout troop. But, instead of teaching them the ways of the wilds, she teaches them how to survive the wilds of Beverly Hills. And, of course there's Velda Plendor, who wants to get Phyllis Nefler out of the girl scouts. And toss her out on her butt.

It's funny. See it. Watch it. Enjoy it. Cringe, maybe. Just don't watch it with me, I can quote the whole movie. Needless to say I was watching my childhood favorite two years ago. And, I said to myself what has happened to everyone in this movie. Thanks to the power of wikipedia I soon found out about Jenny Lewis's singing career.

Before her solo career. She worked with this band, Rilo Kiley, now I have not investigated them. Jenny is no longer with them and I'm really just not that interested at this point. You see I would have bought Jenny Lewis's records two years ago, but I wasn't working. I subsisted on twenty dollars a month. So, you have to pick your priorities. That is Madonna, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, P!NK, Jennifer Lopez, Lana Del Rey, Gossip. And, the admittedly questionable purchase of Carly Rae Jepsen's debut album Kiss. Which, is not as bad as you think.

And, oh my god. 2012 was a good year in music.

So, I didn't end up buying a Jenny Lewis album. And, I religiously check the music charts every week. And, that's where I found out about it. I check them., so I know what's popular. I just don't mess with radio. I do not like it, I would rather put in a CD and have an experience. I mean occasionally I do, because sometimes you're just not in the mood for anything.

Recently, the struggle has been so real. I've been driving to school in my mother's car. I told you how my car has been broken down. Well, I can play CD's in the truck. But, not in the car. I only have the radio. However, there is air conditioning (Something the truck lacks) and it sort of evens out. I don't know.

One problem with the car, though, is that you can't see around anything. ANYTHING. I'm just used to be high off the ground able to see around cars. Mind you, I don't have one of those redneck, high rollers, southern boys are so found of. It's a mid size, comfortable little truck. It's also never clean.

I love how I forgot to tell you the name of the album. It's called The Voyager and I love the album cover. You can see it right there. I don't how to describe it musically. Light rock. No, that's not right. Everything is indie-rock now. Its very soothing. I like it.

This album is an experience, like ARTPOP or the 1975's debut set. It's amazing. What took me so long to just become obsessed is that it doesn't hit you in the face. This is not Katy Perry going for the jugular. This is an alt rock artist who knows she's not going to have a hit and that's okay with her. You have to connect with the words. And, I have finally done that.

There is quite a bit of drug references. It does tend to surprise you. I am still piecing together what these songs mean. “Just One of The Guys” has yet to hit me. There's one line where she says “I'm just another lady without a baby”, and I'm trying to figure out how that relates to it.

“Late Bloomer” I have worked out. It is about a young inexperienced girl who moves to the big city and proceeds to get involved with drugs. Beautiful, story there Jenny.

That's one thing I've noticed I feel comfortable calling her Jenny. Like, if I ran into the streets and saw Beyonce. I would not say Beyonce. I would say “Hey, Mrs. Carter”. I think Jenny and I are friends. We have to be. I feel connected.

Speaking of friends. Anne Hathway is even slick more obsessed with Jenny then I am. She appeared in the music video for “Just One of the Guys” alongside Kristen Stewart. It's basically everything. And to prove that Jenny Lewis is basically the most adorable human being on the planet and you most certainly should go out and buy The Voyager look at her response to being asked who the most attractive male is.

Buy "Just One Of The Guys"

If you don't want to buy The Voyager and you still need more convincing other then the fact that your favorite blogger has given you their full out recommendation. Here are my favorite tracks from the album you should check out:

1. She's Not Me

2. Head Underwater

3. The Voyager

4. The New You

Buy "The Voyager"

Jenny Lewis with boyfriend Johnny Rice

Buy "She's Not Me"

Buy "Head Underwater"

Buy "The Voyager" (Song Only)

Buy "The New You"

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No Good Girl

10/14/2014

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I had no intentions of writing this article. It was not part of my weekend. And, then I went out with Rosencrantz. We once again went on the game plan of let's just go out and do something. We ended up at a shopping mall. Where we looked rather then shopped.

We had one goal to find a candle that represented the fall season. We found none. We went in two different shops and each time could not find what Rosencrantz wanted. After this the movie Gone Girl just happens to come up. Now I had planned on going to see it with my mother. I have decided to set myself on a budget as I have been spending rather recklessly as of late. And, there's nothing better then having your mother pay for it.

Before we actually saw the movie. We stopped at Target, where I was stopped. I was recognized. They said are you one of Miss Sara Bellum and the Mayor's friends. I said of course. They knew me from me being all over their instagram account. It may just be local stardom, but stardom I do have.

After I actually got home. My mother wants to go out. And she decides we are going to go see No Good Deed. I saw two movies in under five hours. It was rather insane.

So, first I saw Gone Girl. You know I read the book. I wrote an article on it. I even said how Rosencrantz was probably going to go see it with me. I know my friendship so well. The obvious question is how great is Ben Affleck's penis.

Yes. It is in the movie. I was told it was near the start of the movie. That is a bold faced lie. That comes at the end. Of course we would have rather seen his penis ten years ago in a more primed up shape, however we can juxtapose. Hello, photo shop.

I suppose his penis had a nice shape. We're just going to have to buy the movie and freeze frame for a better angle if we're really that curious. I don't really know what to tell you about this movie. It is a thriller. I just don't want to give anything away. The basic premise is that Ben Affleck's wife has disappeared, and it is up to you decide whether or not he actually killed her.

You have to remember that this review is coming from someone who read the book. That I knew the screenplay was written by the author. I had very specific expectations for this film and they were not met. The author said the film would differ from the book. It did not. There were deviations, but nothing jaw dropping. Some of the same uncomfortable dialogue from the book found its way into the movie. Thank you Gillian Flynn.

I did enjoy the movie. You should see it. There are some graphic scenes, sexually, physically, and verbally, so beware of that. This movie is not Academy Award material. If you don't see it. You are not missing anything. I would give it 3 ½ Bubbles personally.

Bubble Rating:

Now, I asked Rosencrantz -someone who had not read the book- to give me her opinion of the movie, and her rating was slightly better. It was 4 Bubbles. I definitely think if you read the book you should see the movie.

Rosencrantz Rating:

With my mother I got around to seeing No Good Deed. I love this movie. It stars Idris Elba as deranged psychopath killer and Taraji P. Henson as docile housewife. I am truly terrified of Idris Elba now. If I saw him walking down the street, I would be like bye bitch.

He does a great job. This movie is horrifying. I do not get freaked out by a lot of horror movies, because I can seperate them from my life. But, a man in distress comes knocking on your door and proceeds to terrorize your family. That I can relate to. It makes me not want to answer my door.

Let me also point out that Leslie Bibb is in this movie. And if you read my Good Christian Bitches article like you should have. You know that she is Amanda and that I love everyone on that show. You know the woman who plays Cricket is going to be on Hilary Duff's new TV show on TVLand Younger. That is exciting.

So, I have read that this movie did not receive good reviews. I'm not sure why. I love it. It is one of those movies I will never want to see again (Think Fatal Attraction), but I think its fantastic. Maybe I was just in the mood for this kind of movie, but I am obsessed. I like it. Taraji P. Henson slayed and that little narrative twist at the end. Yes. That is some Agatha Christie shit.

Make a point of seeing it. I gave it 4 Bubbles. I did not ask my mother her opinion, because she does not know that I blog. So, whenever she does find out about this. That should be interesting.

End point. Go see a movie.

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