Classic Literature

Let me tell you how surprised I was by the level of enamored I was with this short little novel by Voltaire.

I did not expect to like it. Let's look at the facts. It is from the 1700's. Eww. Voltaire is an enlightenment thinker. Double eww. To be perfectly honest I didn't actually plan on reading it all for my English class. Skimming was definitely on my mind. Spark note it if it exists.

As a non-English major I'm taking two many English classes. They're both on Tuesday and Thursday and they both assign a combined two hundred pages of reading and it's like LOL. I am not reading all of this. The reading for Tuesday I got you. The reading for Thursday's does not happen.

At the time I was reading Rabbit Run for my American Masculinities class. That book was insufferable. It wasn't bad, but it really wasn't good. I can't say I enjoyed. And, of course I thought I nailed the essay for that book, because I actually read the whole thing. I did not nail it. I got an 80. I was like da fuck.

I love my American Masculinites class, but I feel like I'm going to fail it. And, by fail I mean get a B in it, but I'm trying so hard and I'm just not doing that well. I walked in on my first day of class with a pair of high heels on, because how else do you walk into an American Masculinities class. It is so great. It's a class filled with radical feminists and these two super sweet boys. And, it came as no surprise that one of them was gay.

It was only after finishing my reading for Rabbit Run that I pick up Candide. The sixty pages I had to read. They were glorious. If I wasn't physically drained, I would have finished it.

I was fire. I was on top of it in class discussion. I just want everyone to know I nailed it, because I almost never nail it. By almost never what I mean is never.

If you don't know the concept of Candide that is okay. It is basically the most bullshit story you will ever read and for it being written over 300 years ago it's perfectly understandable. Unlike my blog in ten years. 

The book is satire and it is insane. Butt cheeks are cut off, there are earthquakes, and beatings. Everyone dies at least once in the book. There is so much sex and it is just so good. Voltaire just straight up kills it the entire time.

Now I am a cheap ass college student, who refused to buy any of their textbooks , so you do not need to run out and buy Candide. Even, though you totally should if you want to. This book is only like 120 pages, but it is straight fast forwarding plot.

So, of course I have included the PDF for you to download and read. You can thank me after you read it and are just as obsessed with how awesome Voltaire is. I'm not expressing myself well in truly stating that this book (novella?) is everything you need in life. It might be short, but unlike that hot ass mess that is Utopia. It is everything. 

voltaire_candide.pdf
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File Type:	pdf

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