The "Real" Housewives of Beverly Hills

Reality TV is always an obsession. I have indulged  in The Simple Life and RuPaul’s Drag Race and the belated America’s Next Top Model.
I’ve never been one for the Real Housewives franchise and no I don’t know where Potamac is.

​Nene Leakes is a cultural staple and of course I followed Theresa Giudice’s imprisonment. I’m sure her house arrest is amazing without the alcohol and who can forget when she flipped over a table? Bethenny Frankel is the only other one who comes to mind. She’s a skinny girl who has skinny girl shit.  

Recently I’ve become obsessed with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. One of the many franchises spinning from the Real Housewives of Orange County. One of my favorite club singers, Erika Jayne has joined the cast. You can read my article on her here.  

I thought I would try out the show. I didn’t realize how in love was I going to be with it and not just because of Erika. Her marital name being Erika Girardi. She’s married to a fabulously wealthy lawyer thirty years her senior and she thinks hookers are fabulous.
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Erika Jayne is by far the best housewife on the show, but I’ve begun having a loving affection for many of the others..

​Matriarch, Lisa Vanderpump, with her posh accent and her uncut mouth is the best. She lives by the color pink and she loves dogs, but isn’t that crazy about bitches. She has ponies at her house and swans in the water feature. She says it like she means it and she might be aggressive, but who isn’t in Beverly Hills?

I have a soft spot for Yolanda Foster. She’s friends with Erika Jayne and might soon be divorced from her mega producer husband David Foster, known for his work with Whitney Houston, Natalie Cole, Madonna, and Jennifer Lopez to name a few. Her plotline revolves around her illness. One many of the housewives question in authenticity.

I like Yolanda, but I watch the housewives for a glamorous petty escape from my life, not for heart rending medical drama. I wish her the best. She seems very nice and I do enjoy her supermodel daughter stopping by.

And, I really like Eileen Davidson. She’s on Days of Our Lives. Her marital life seems shaky and her plotline is contrived, but I just like her. She just seems so nice and after she stood up for Erika, there’s no one I like better.

Lisa Rinna. She has lips reminiscent of the ones Goldie Hawn's character got in  The First Wives Club. She has her own clothing line on QVC. She starts shit. Gets her ass waxed on TV and doesn’t seem to care for Erika that much. She’s a skinny loud mouth archetype perfect for reality TV.

Kyle Richards entire drama involves her sister Kim. She’s fine. She’s rather inconsequential to show and she’s the reason that Erika got subjected to Bethenny Frankel being a flat out bitch to her about her music career. I’m fine with her, but I don’t watch the show for her plot. I’m here to see Erika get zipped into her skintight leotard and hang with her gays.
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The latest housewife Kathryn Edwards has yet to make an impact on me. There’s still time, but I need more than just her backstory on the OJ trial.  

For me The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has everything you need. It’s all petty, guilty drama. There’s no physical altercations and they all drive Mercedes Benz. What more do you need on a Tuesday night?