Category: Beyonce

Jennnifer Lopez Teams Up With Giuseppe

8/26/2016

Jennifer Lopez is not content to stay nestled in the suburban middle class of Kohl's with her new capsule collection for Giuseppe Zanotti. The new collection is expected to launch January, 2017 with two new bags and a few pairs of shoes ranging from $795-$1,995.

A capsule collection to the uninitiated was an idea put forth by Donna Karan. It offers a limited amount of clothing that puts all the focus on “essential” pieces.

The new collaboration is called Giuseppe for Jennifer Lopez. It's touchingly original in name. Jennifer is sure to be in good hands after a pairing up Giuseppe did with Beyonce last year. The as yet unfinished product is roughly described to include wedge sneakers (a personal guilty pleasure), gladiators, and leather handbags.

The new accessories are sure to be tasteful. Jennifer has assured us that they are “bad ass” and they have “sparkle” and as long as their covered in Savorski crystals I certainly won't be complaining.

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Whoroscope

6/12/2015

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Horoscopes are completely full of shit, but that doesn't stop me from finding out what my Taurus self is up to. I check it in the newspapers when I'm visiting my grandparents. I get supremely annoyed when I can't find it in Cosmopolitan. Last month's accurately predicted that I would be busy with work throughout June.

I realized that I am witty and charming. However, divine inspiration for today's article came from Kacey Musgraves (Yes, Same Trailer, Different Park Kacey Musgraves). In her song “Follow Your Arrow” she tongue in cheek remarks that “If you don't save yourself for marriage you're a whoreable person”. So, instead of “horoscopes” we have “whoroscopes” to fit my tendencies better.

Buy "Follow Your Arrow"

I used horoscopes to flirt with someone before. Actually, you can't call it flirting. It was more a conversation piece. I got this horoscope that told you what female singer you were. I got Lana Del Rey. I was just so glad I didn't get Meghan Trainor.

But, I thought it was so funny how I got Lana. I was like does this mean I want to fuck my father? I thought this was charming little anecdote and I used it. To be fair I did get a little laugh out of it. I've actually used this horoscope so many times. So many people who know me must be like was he flirting with me? No, sweetheart. I have standards.

Horoscopes are just fun things to play with. Enjoy. Revel in. Some people are such fun suckers and they refuse to enjoy a good horoscope. We are not talking about building your life around your daily horoscope. But, did it end up that badly for Jennifer Lopez in Monster In Law? No. She got a sexy doctor, the day her horoscope told her she would find love.

One day I was just going through all the horoscopes I'd found on tumblr with some people and we had the most fun. Laughing at how ridiculous some of them and how accurate some of them are. If you ever want to find my horoscopes on tumblr there's a search button on the top of my tumblr page. Just put in 'Taurus' and it will come right up. I tag all of my horoscopes with my sign.

“I'm no virgin or no virgo”
- truth from Kesha

For a while I thought I was an Aquarius and by a while I mean a few years. My parents are very religious and my Zodiac sign was not high on their priority list of things to teach me. I think I wanted to be an Aquarius so bad, because being an unnoticeable if sturdy car was really not my thing. Now I embrace my tauruship.

Below are some of my favorite horoscopes (taken from tumblr) and the birthdays for all of the signs in case you too have convinced yourself that your an Aquaurius.

Aries: March 21-April 19
Taurus: April 20-May 20
Gemini: May 21-June 20
Cancer: June 21-July 22
Leo: July 23-August 22
Virgo: August 23-September 22
Libra: September 23-October 22
Scorpio: October 23-November 21
Sagittarius: November 22-December 21
Capricorn: December 22-January 19
Aquarius: January 20-February 18
Pisces: February 19-March 20

If the signs hate you:

will tell you: scorpio, sagittarius, aries, gemini, leo
will be nice to you but talk mad shit about you: pisces, cancer, taurus, libra
won't tell you but will make it so you know they hate you: virgo, capricorn, aquarius,

Flirting

Aries: accidentally obsesses. pay attention to them or they'll make u
Taurus: lots of shy eye contact. smiles from ear to ear. laughs at ALL your jokes.
Gemini: tell you a ton of stories and jokes to try to impress you. lots of 'accidental' touching.
Cancer: talks to all their friends about how much they like you. never acts like it around you tho
Leo: acting more proud than the norm. wants to cuddle and talk with you 24/7. shows you everything that they've done (art/writing/funny text/etc)
Virgo: extra nervous around you. even more cautious with their words. stutters out compliments all the time
Libra: giggly. looks like they're literally in love with you. teases gently. throws constant compliments at u
Scorpio: might stare at you so intensely it seems like they're glaring. asks more personal questions about you. laughs with you
Sagittarius: laughs more frequently than the usual. acts even more friendly. wants to do all sorts of crazy things with you
Capricorn: chokes on their words. gets overwhelmed by simple things (ie. their emotions). grins ear to ear and giggles quietly at the idea of you.
Aquarius: bullies you. tries harder to be around you. tells you their secrets and maybe how they're really feeling.
Pisces: hides their face (with their hands, looking away, anyway they can really) from you. flirts a little boldly at you and then says they're kidding. daydreams about you and tells their friends about it.

Zodiac Signs as Madonna's 12 Billboard Number One Hits

Aries: “Who’s That Girl”
Taurus: “Take a Bow”
Gemini: “Open Your Heart”
Cancer: “Crazy for You”
Leo: “Like a Virgin”
Virgo: “Music”
Libra: “Justify My Love”
Scorpio: “Live to Tell”
Sagittarius: “Like a Prayer”
Capricorn: “Vogue”
Aquarius: “Papa Don’t Preach”
Pisces: “This Used to Be My Playground”

Powerpuff Girls

Blossom: Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Bubbles: Taurus, Cancer, Capricorn, Pisces
Buttercup: Aries, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio

The Signs as Female Pop Stars

Aries: Nicki Minaj
Taurus: Lana Del Rey
Gemini: Katy Perry
Cancer: Taylor Swift
Leo: Britney Spears
Virgo: Beyonce
Libra: Fergie
Scorpio: Marina and the Diamonds
Sagittarius: Miley Cyrus
Capricorn: Lady Gaga
Aquarius: Meghan Trainor
Pisces: Ariana Grande

Who Will Die on the Titanic?

Aries: no
Taurus: no
Gemini: no
Cancer: no
Virgo: no
Libra: no
Scorpio: no
Sagittarius: no
Leo: yes
Capricorn: no
Aquarius: no
Pisces: no

The "Gay" Squad

Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces

What the signs REALLY Want

Aries: Lower college tuition.
Taurus: Lower college tuition.
Gemini: Lower college tuition.
Cancer: Lower college tuition.
Leo: Lower college tuition.
Virgo: Lower college tuition.
Libra: Lower college tuition.
Scorpio: Lower college tuition.
Sagittarius: Lower college tuition.
Capricorn: Lower college tuition.
Aquarius: Lower college tuition.
Pisces: Lower college tuition.

Signs From Most to Least Heterosexual

Gemini
Libra
Sagittarius
Leo
Cancer
Pisces
Scorpio
Aquarius
Capricorn
Virgo
Aries
Taurus

Signs As Their Favorite Female Rapper

Aries: Nicki Minaj
Taurus: Nicki Minaj
Gemini: Iggy Azalea
Cancer: Nicki Minaj
Leo: Nicki Minaj
Virgo: Nicki Minaj
Libra: Nicki Minaj
Scorpio: Nicki Minaj
Sagittarius: Nicki Minaj
Capricorn: Nicki Minaj
Aquarius: Nicki Minaj
Pisces: Nicki Minaj

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Best Albums of 2014

12/27/2014

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Let's be really clear about this list. It is simply a review of the albums I have bought this year. I could never numerically list my favorite albums for a year. I could knock some out of the top ten, but let's be honest. I love music too much. Now almost all the music I got this year, I bought the day it came out.

You know I like my CD. That means some albums I may have talked about or have wanted, I do not have. RuPaul never released Born Naked in a physical format, Troye Sivan didn't release TRYXE physically in the United States, and Azealia Banks will be putting Broke With Expensive Taste out in January. It will make next years list.

I'm going to try to be a cold calculated bitch to my faves. Will see how well this goes. I'll give you a general rating out of five bubbles and include the song I played the most individually according to my computer.

Buy Lights Out

Lights Out: Ingrid Michaleson
3 ½ Bubbles
I bought this album as a spur of the moment seven dollar purchase at Target. I really do enjoy it's acceptable hit “Girls Chase Boys” and its a nice album. It's a good folk pop. It's not my favorite, though. Like, I think it's good album, but I don't listen to it very often. The ballads are what bring this album down. It just drags. That being said there are some standout tracks including “Warpath”, “Time Machine”, and “One Night Town”.

Most Played Song: "One Night Town"

Buy 1989

1989: Taylor Swift
4 Bubbles
Who else was shocked at how great this album was. I bought it the moment it came out. The Target staff was still putting it up and I had to reach past them to get it. This album is so much better then “Shake It Off” predicted. I know I said I wouldn't it. Of course I did. I'm so glad, I did. I am now a proud and out Taylor Swift fan. This album is everything.

Most Played Song: Tie between “Welcome To New York” and “Blank Space”

A.K.A.: Jennifer Lopez
3 ½ Bubbles
This is Queen J.Lo's latest album. I was hyped for it. I wanted it so badly. And, it was kind of a disappointment. One of my favorite albums ever was her previous studio album Love? A.K.A. Really wasn't going to top that. As much as I've listened to the album it's not my favorite. And, this rating is actually based on the standard ten track album. I really love this album until “Booty” ends and then it just slides down. If you're not a Jennifer Lopez fan and you want this album. Get the standard edition. Its a more solid performance over all, then the deluxe.

Most Played Song: “Booty” featuring Pitbull

Buy A.K.A.

Aquarius: Tinashe
3 ½ Bubbles
Critics adored this album. I think it's solid, but like many albums I don't enjoy listening to it per say. I see the artistry and I think it was executed well, but Tinashe wanted to be both an R&B starlet and an expiremental mix tape girl. She tried to make it work. I don't know if it did. Some songs I thoroughly enjoyed were the title track, “Bet”, “All Hands On Deck”, and “Wildfire”

Most Played Song: “2 On”

Buy Aquarius

Cheek to Cheek: Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett
4 Bubbles
I bought it for Lady Gaga. Real talk. That's why the world bought it. This is a jazz album. I tentatively think it was well executed. I don't listen to jazz. When I do listen to this album I jam, but is it going to take the place of ARTPOP? Absolutely not.

Most Played Song: “I Can't Give You Anything But Love”

Buy Cheek to Cheek

Food: Kelis
4 Bubbles
This is an album. I don't listen to the songs individually when I listen to Kelis it is the full experience. This is a soul funk R&B album. I love it. It may not be for everyone, but it's an insanely well executed project.

Most Played Song: Tie between “Bless The Telephone” and “Jerk Ribs”

Buy Food

Flashing Lights: Havana Brown
3 Bubbles
I know technically this album came out in 2013, but the version I have of this album came out in 2014. So, I'm going to include it anyway, you know I love Havana Brown. That said it's surprising how not good I thought Flashing Lights was. Like it's everything to me, but I'm like wow this isn't actually tht good of an album. This happened, because of the lackluster quality of some of the filler tracks that are strung together four songs long. When this album is at it's high. It can't be beat. At it's lows it hurts. It also come as a surprise to me that the most played song I had was not “Warrior”, “We Run The Night”, “Big Banana”, "Naughty” or “Flashing Lights”. All songs I would say were better, but a song I would label as filler, but apparently incredibly enjoyable filler.

Most Played Song: “You'll Be Mine”

Buy Flashing Lights

Buy It's The Girls!

It's The Girls!: Bette Midler
3 ½ Bubbles
Legendary Bette Midler released yet another studio album. It is a collection of standard girl group songs. Executed well, not as well as other albums by her. I thoroughly enjoyed it.The album also offers great love advice.. Take the staggeringly over optimistic “Tell Him”. Sure just tell your crush you'll never leave him in his whole life. That you'll love him forever. That's not creepy. Side note do not go out of your way to get the Target edition. It's just two sappy ballads that are sub par for the set and don't add much to the record.

Most Played Song: “He's Sure The Boy I Love”

Going to Hell: The Pretty Reckless
4 ½ Bubbles
One of the best albums of the year. Obsessed. I love. Every song is almost perfect. It strays a little too hard rock for me at times, but that's because I'm not usually one of hard rocks biggest proponents. Buy this album. It's fronted by Gossip Girl alumn, Taylor Momsen, and man does she kill it as a provocative Lolita figure.

Most Played Song: Tie between “Heaven Knows”, “Why'd You Bring A Shotgun To The Party”, and “Fucked Up World”

Buy Going To Hell

Motion: Calvin Harris
4 Bubbles
DJ Calvin Harris has hit his stride. This album is everything you want, radio friendly pop fodder with plenty of bangers. The fantastic Big Sean feature with “Open Wide” or the Tinashe led “Dollar Signs”. He did a great job creating a flowing record. It also doesn't hurt that he back loaded the album with it's best songs. Another collaboration with Ellie Goulding hit home and you should check this album out before these songs hit the top ten.

Most Played Song: Tie between “Pray to God” featuring Haim and “Dollar Signs” featuring Tinashe

Buy Motion

Buy The New Classic

Nick Jonas: Nick Jonas
3 Bubbles
I wanted more from this album. There are no shirtless pictures in the booklet, so what the fuck Nick. But, just at it's core I'm not in love. It doesn't turn me off. I'm not opposed to buying another Nick Jonas album, I'm just not entirely bought into this Nick. The lyrics really do bother me on some of these songs. “If I can't have you, no one will”. It's kind of creepy. His duet with Mike Posner is disgusting. There are just some things that turn me off to this album. That said I was pleasantly surprised at how good the duet with Demi Lovato was, and you know I don't like her.

Most Played Song: “Numb” featuring Angel Haze

The New Classic: Iggy Azalea
2 Bubbles
I want to read this album, but the hits bolster it just enough for me not to tear it apart. I am not a fan of this album. The Reclassified is probably the shit. Streamlined with the best. All the effort was put into the hits. I don't know. She makes stabs at 'real' hip hop and it just doesn't strike home like her pop renderings. There were some album only songs that I adore like “Fuck Love” and the ridiculous “Lady Patra”. I even like “Walk The Line”. But, when paired against the hits. The other songs fall flat. This doesn't fulfill the joy of an album experience.

Most Played Song: “Fancy” featuring Charli XCX

Buy Nick Jonas

Platinum: Miranda Lambert
3 ½ Bubbles
Miranda is my country darling, I love her music. This is a rambling album and it works. It does, but as a rambling album some songs turn me off to the overall aesthetic. “Little Red Wagon” being the biggest put down. And, I read in a review that they consider it a stand out track, so I might just be missing something. There's her trademark humor in tow with “Old Shit” and “Gravity is a Bitch”. I am also not impressed with lead single “Automatic”. It's kind of condescending and it doesn't really sound like Miranda. It also must be known that I am overwhelmed with both “Smokin' and Drinkin'” and “Platinum”. They barely missed being the my most played song.

Most Played Song: “Something Bad” feauturing Carrie Underwood

Buy Platinum

Queen of the Clouds: Tove Lo
3 Bubbles
Another album I want to get into. I didn't it. It didn't click for me. “Like Em Young” did resonate with me. I just want to send this song to my crush anonymously and say how does this make you feel. The concept of splitting the album into three distinct parts of “The Sex”, “The Love” and “The Pain”. That was really cool. I know someone who loves this album. Give it a shot. I'm going to keep trying. Tove Lo as a pop star intrigues me.

Most Played Song: “Not On Drugs”

Buy Queen of the Clouds

That's Christmas to Me: Pentatonix
3 Bubbles
People went gaga for this acapella Christmas album this year. I bought it because of Mitch and Scott. It's acceptable Christmas fair. It does not compete with Celine Dion or Bette Midler. If you want it I say go get it.

Most Played Song: “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy”

Buy That's Christmas To Me

Shakira: Shakira
3 ½ Bubbles
Shakira did a stint on The Voice and tried her damnedest to get American radio play by throwing Rihanna onto the lead off single “Can't Remember To Forget You”, but never the less her latest album didn't produce a sizable hit in the United States. I enjoy this album. I don't think it's as good as say Laundry Service, She Wolf, or Sale El Sol. But, it's an easy breezy listen that stands up stronger then either part of the Oral Fixation series. I also thoroughly enjoyed her duet with country superstar, Blake Shelton that was trashed by more then one critic.

Most Played Song: “Can't Remember To Forget You” featuring Rihanna

Buy Shakira

Sex and Love: Enrique Iglesias
3 Bubbles
This is one of those weird albums that works, but I can't honestly tell you it's a good album. It's Enrique Iglesias. I've listened to this album numerous times and I love it. Also, the song I trashed when I compared him to Shakira is my most listened to song. This is just a thoroughly good ride. You can't take it as artistry, but more as good fun. Whether that be “Bailando”, “There Goes My Baby”, “Physical” or “Beautiful”. It works because Enrique plays off of his public persona. If you like his public image. You should really enjoy this album.

Most Played Song: “I'm A Freak” featuring Pitbull

Buy Sex and Love

Buy Sheezus

Sheezus: Lily Allen
2 ½ Bubbles
Thunder and J.Lo bought me this album for my birthday. I still like Lily Allen, but this album blends. Most of the tracks are too similar. There are definitely some songs I jam out to, but it's just not my favorite thing this year. I wouldn't avoid it, still it's not on the top of my list. Some of the songs I really enjoyed were the title track, “Close Your Eyes” and “Silver Spoon”. If you are a die hard Lily Allen. Buy this album. You need it as part of your collection.

Most Played Song: “Hard Out Here”

Sound of a Woman: Kiesza
3 ½ Bubbles
Solid and unique debut by dance singer Kiesza. This is artistic dance music in the highest regard. It doesn't hit home for me quite hard enough and some of the more R&B inspired tracks leave me bored. However, I like her and would look into her next album. If you didn't hear her almost hit “Hideaway” that's something you should get on.

Most Played Song: “Hideaway”

Buy Sound of a Woman

Super Critical: The Ting Tings
4 ½ Bubbles
The Ting Tings are one of the winners this year in music. True they are my favorite band, but this album got to me. First listen I was set on three bubbles. A few more spins later and this new disco sound was everything I wanted from The Tings. It's light fun filled and some of the tracks I initially questioned, I am now in love with. The only two that haven't quite clicked are “Wabi Sabi” and “Green Poison”, but I still like them. Of the two singles released so far, I believe “Do It Again” is the best.

Most Played Song: “Failure”

Buy Super Critical

Volume 3: Pentatonix
3 ½ Bubbles
3rd EP from acapella group Pentatonix it includes covers of some of the years most popular songs. When you play a game like that it comes down to whether you like the original version better or not. They usually hold there own when it comes to the covers. It's the original song “Papaoutai” that features violinist Lindsey Stirling that disappoints me the most. I had so much hopes, because it's Lindsey Stirling and it did not come through.

Most Played Song: “See Through”

Buy Volume 3

Ultraviolence: Lana Del Rey
4 ½ Bubbles
Moody songstress Lana Del Rey came out with her second album the same day as Jennifer Lopez. I like this album better. Maybe not at first, but it's sunk into my soul. Every song is a masterpiece. I've played each individually and I don't know what keeps it from being a five bubble experience for me. Lana Del Rey knew what she wanted for this album and she delivered. I would recommend it to anyone. My mother and Boomer both claimed that they preferred Born to Die better. I told them to never talk to me again.

Most Played Song: “Ultraviolence”

Buy Ultraviolence

The Voyager: Jenny Lewis
4 ½ Bubbles
Adore would be too light of a word for how I feel about Jenny Lewis. If you want to know what emotional state I was in for a better part of 2014, you can listen to this album. It's soft, modern rock. It's easy listening. The only reason it's not a straight five bubbles is that one of the final songs “Aloha & The Three Johns” just didn't quite sit well with me. If I was to tell you an album you need to buy this year, it would be this one. Both Cosmopolitan and Billboard included this album on their year end lists.

Most Played Song: “She's Not Me”

Buy The Voyager

Buy The Pinkprint

Sucker: Charli XCX
4 Bubbles
This album could be a grower or I could hate it. Do not be fooled by “Boom Clap” this is not a traditional pop album. Like it is, but this is kind of punk rock with pop thrown in. “Boom Clap” doesn't really fit the album that well. It was just a major hit. I enjoy this album, but I am on the fence. High on the fence, but on the fence none the less. Enter into this album at your own risk, but I think Charli created a winner. Fans of her last outing True Romance may be disappointed. It is not even close to the same release as True Romance and that came out just last year.

Most Played Song: “Break The Rules”

Buy Sucker

The Pinkprint: Nicki Minaj
4 Bubbles
I really haven't had a chance to live with The Pinkprint. I am a huge Nicki fan, and I'm just so excited with the new Nicki music. It's introspective, but mantains that rap braggadocio, and there are some solid pop moments as well. The one that really stands out to me is “The Night Is Still Young”. Download it. It's going to be released as a single. Something I am holding against Nicki on this album is under utilizing Beyonce on “Feeling Myself”. Not that the song is bad, but you have Beyonce and this what you give us. What happened. At 21 tracks long, some of the songs could have been cut, but that's a hip-hop album for you. There are too many songs and it's too long and you love it. Queen Nicki, slayed it.

Most Played Song: “Bed of Lies” featuring Skylar Grey

Favorite Album of the Year: Tie between Going to Hell by the Pretty Reckless, Super Critical by The Ting Tings, Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey, and The Voyager by Jenny Lewis.

Buy

Favorite Song of the Year: “Failure” by The Ting Tings

Buy "Failure"

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This Is Halloween

10/31/2014

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Happy Halloween, everyone. I hope you are doing something real exciting. I was supposed to be going to a murder mystery party today. Instead I am at work. We were not allowed to ask off from work, and I was like please god. He did not answer. Hopefully it is not busy. We shall see.

Now some of you may be hosting a party tonight, just looking for some good music to put on in order to be festive. That is what I am here to do. I love all of these songs. With any luck these should be the creepy that you did not think of to add to your Halloween play list. I will not insult your intelligence. I'm sure you got the cornerstones: “Thriller”, “Disturbia”, “This Is Halloween”.

Last year Queen B deposited some perfect Halloween music for us. “Haunted” should have the feel that you want for a Halloween party. It is minimalist and it's also called “Haunted”. So, that lyrical content is on point. I also think her cover of Amy Winehouse's “Back to Black” with Andre 3000 is a strong contender to being added to your play list. If you don't feel it, maybe the original Amy version is more to your liking.

Buy "Haunted"

For BoA's first and only English studio album, she did a cover of girl group Monrose's “Scream”. It might not be perfect Halloween mood, but unlike Christmas we do not have albums dedicated to the subject. I like BoA's version better, because I like BoA. She's a major K-Pop, J-Pop star in line with the stardom of Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera.

Buy "Scream"

The video is what makes “Two Black Cadillacs” a perfect song for Halloween. It's about this possessed car that ends up killing a man. Perfect for Halloweeen. And of course the song itself is about the same thing. Killing a man who has done you wrong. Carrie Underwood always reinventing how to get even with a man.

Buy "Two Black Cadillacs"

Known for “Forget You”, his spot on The Voice, and his recent comments on rape Cee Lo Green released a solid soul R&B album The Lady Killer. I still like the album. I just don't know what he's doing with his life. But, one of the songs on it is “Bodies”. An evident precursor to his thoughts on rape now that I think about it. Still perfectly creepy for Halloween. It is heavily suggested by the song that his lovers body is found dead in his bed. The backing music alone should be strong enough to grab your attention.

Buy "Bodies"

Now this is more of a fun lyrically relevant Halloween song by Diablo Swing Orchestra. Part rock band, part Orchestra, part Opera their fun and silly song “Voodoo Mon Amour” should shift the underlying emotional stress of previous song “Bodies”.

Buy "Voodoo Mon Amour"

You should be aware that I adore Fergie. I mean I did do a week of Fergie. So, there should be no surprise that her song “Voodoo Doll” found it's way onto this list. With hushed lyrics (I don't have arms, I don't have any human qualities) and talk of stalling the devil and looking into crystal balls. Both musically and lyrically it should find space on a Halloween playlist.

Buy "Voodoo Doll"

“I'm In It” may not exemplify Halloween, but Kanye West throws in enough robotic screams to make it a terrifying pop/rap experience on his last album Yeezus.

Buy "I'm In It"

Of course Lady Gaga found her way into Halloween. With more then one song to choose from, I settled on “Bloody Mary” and “Monster” as exemplary Halloween lore.

Buy "Bloody Mary"

Buy "Monster"

With Lana Del Rey almost all of her songs have the right atmosphere for a Halloween bash. You could pick either of the title tracks off of albums Born to Die or Ultraviolence and have a perfect Halloween slow jam. However, “Gods and Monsters” off of her EP Paradise is much more inclined towards the spirit of the holiday over the other two tracks. Halloween is all about being in the lands of Gods and Monsters.

Buy "Gods and Monsters"

Queen Madonna after thirty years in the music business has made more then enough music for at least one of her songs to make it's way into this list. Let's start with 2012's “Gang Bang”. All about shooting her lover in the head over and over, meeting him in hell and doing it all over again. Halloween enough for you?

A Justin Timberlake backed “Voices” closes out her Hard Candy, just in time for Halloween. There are voices in “your head”. Creepy bells to close out the track and enough lyrical content to suggest being possessed to warrant a nod towards the month of October.

This song is much more fun and upbeat. It was a leftover from Like a Prayer and it found its way onto the B-Side of her “Cherish” single. Something is “Supernatural”, some have suggested that it is the touch of your hand. While, I just like to think it was made for Halloween. If you like it. Rip the song from youtube. You can't download it legally from iTunes or anything like that.

Buy "Gang Bang"

Buy "Voices"

You should be familiar with Phil Collins classic “In The Air Tonight”. Knowing the back story to this song, should help you realize why it's perfect for tonight. It has been said that the lyrics tell the story of someone drowning, crying out for help, and that person choosing not to save them. It has also been suggested that the narrator is Phil Collins himself, who saw all of this happen, but was unable to do anything to stop it. Over the years Phil Collins has always denied that this song means “anything”. It's still a fascinating story none the less isn't it?

Buy "In The Air Tonight"

There should be no explanation for why The Pretty Reckless's song “Going to Hell” made the cut. If you like this song by the Taylor Momsen fronted band, you might also be interested in their song “Zombie”.

Buy "Going To Hell"

We all know Rihanna's major smash “Disturbia” and scene stealing “Russian Roulette”, but what about the opener to album Rated-R, “Mad House”? Under two minutes long. There's no reason not to let her open up your Halloween bash.

Buy "Mad House"

Silly Christian band The W's is my final suggestion with their song “The Devil is Bad”. Between all the zombies, bloody mary's, drownings, and debauchery of the night it might be good to remember that the devil is bad.

Buy "The Devil Is Bad"

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Mushrooms and Coke

10/18/2014

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I have owned this album for a good bit of time now. Actually, I bought the day of Boomer's going away party. That was what, the first Thursday of August? The second. Needless to say it's been a bit of a while.

And, I liked it when I bought it, but I'm obsessed now. I've been listening to it every day. It's everything. Jenny Lewis is everything.

And, I liked it when I bought it, but I'm obsessed now. I've been listening to it every day. It's everything. Jenny Lewis is everything.

You just cannot understand my love for Jenny Lewis. She is part of my childhood. She was sort of a child star. The really important part was that she was in my favorite movie as a child, well one of my favorites. It's a truly terrible film. It's called Troop Beverly Hills and it has Shelly Long from Cheers in it so that's exciting.

Actually it's not a bad movie. I have made so many people watch this movie. I still laugh. I still cry. I still love it. The basic premise is that Shelly Long is the recently separated mother of daughter Hannah Nefler (played by Jenny Lewis) and she takes over as the leader of her girl scout troop. But, instead of teaching them the ways of the wilds, she teaches them how to survive the wilds of Beverly Hills. And, of course there's Velda Plendor, who wants to get Phyllis Nefler out of the girl scouts. And toss her out on her butt.

It's funny. See it. Watch it. Enjoy it. Cringe, maybe. Just don't watch it with me, I can quote the whole movie. Needless to say I was watching my childhood favorite two years ago. And, I said to myself what has happened to everyone in this movie. Thanks to the power of wikipedia I soon found out about Jenny Lewis's singing career.

Before her solo career. She worked with this band, Rilo Kiley, now I have not investigated them. Jenny is no longer with them and I'm really just not that interested at this point. You see I would have bought Jenny Lewis's records two years ago, but I wasn't working. I subsisted on twenty dollars a month. So, you have to pick your priorities. That is Madonna, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, P!NK, Jennifer Lopez, Lana Del Rey, Gossip. And, the admittedly questionable purchase of Carly Rae Jepsen's debut album Kiss. Which, is not as bad as you think.

And, oh my god. 2012 was a good year in music.

So, I didn't end up buying a Jenny Lewis album. And, I religiously check the music charts every week. And, that's where I found out about it. I check them., so I know what's popular. I just don't mess with radio. I do not like it, I would rather put in a CD and have an experience. I mean occasionally I do, because sometimes you're just not in the mood for anything.

Recently, the struggle has been so real. I've been driving to school in my mother's car. I told you how my car has been broken down. Well, I can play CD's in the truck. But, not in the car. I only have the radio. However, there is air conditioning (Something the truck lacks) and it sort of evens out. I don't know.

One problem with the car, though, is that you can't see around anything. ANYTHING. I'm just used to be high off the ground able to see around cars. Mind you, I don't have one of those redneck, high rollers, southern boys are so found of. It's a mid size, comfortable little truck. It's also never clean.

I love how I forgot to tell you the name of the album. It's called The Voyager and I love the album cover. You can see it right there. I don't how to describe it musically. Light rock. No, that's not right. Everything is indie-rock now. Its very soothing. I like it.

This album is an experience, like ARTPOP or the 1975's debut set. It's amazing. What took me so long to just become obsessed is that it doesn't hit you in the face. This is not Katy Perry going for the jugular. This is an alt rock artist who knows she's not going to have a hit and that's okay with her. You have to connect with the words. And, I have finally done that.

There is quite a bit of drug references. It does tend to surprise you. I am still piecing together what these songs mean. “Just One of The Guys” has yet to hit me. There's one line where she says “I'm just another lady without a baby”, and I'm trying to figure out how that relates to it.

“Late Bloomer” I have worked out. It is about a young inexperienced girl who moves to the big city and proceeds to get involved with drugs. Beautiful, story there Jenny.

That's one thing I've noticed I feel comfortable calling her Jenny. Like, if I ran into the streets and saw Beyonce. I would not say Beyonce. I would say “Hey, Mrs. Carter”. I think Jenny and I are friends. We have to be. I feel connected.

Speaking of friends. Anne Hathway is even slick more obsessed with Jenny then I am. She appeared in the music video for “Just One of the Guys” alongside Kristen Stewart. It's basically everything. And to prove that Jenny Lewis is basically the most adorable human being on the planet and you most certainly should go out and buy The Voyager look at her response to being asked who the most attractive male is.

Buy "Just One Of The Guys"

If you don't want to buy The Voyager and you still need more convincing other then the fact that your favorite blogger has given you their full out recommendation. Here are my favorite tracks from the album you should check out: