Category: Tuesday

Scream MTV

8/7/2015

Teen Wolf is back and more excitedly MTV has debuted a new television show, Scream. MTV has long ago given up it's namesake of promoting music and has resorted to a roster of reality TV and questionable hour long diversions.

The show is based off the 1996 film of the same name. That movie starred Courtney Cox, David Arquette, and Drew Barrymore. And, is filed on a long list of movies that I will eventually get around to seeing in my life time. MTV is capitalizing on the franchise's history to build an audience for their new show.

It appears to be working. The show has already been renewed for a second season, although it remains unclear if it will be a continuation of this plot line of if it will center around a new cast much like American Horror Story.

Scream joins a long list of horror shows joining the roster. The aforementioned American Horror Story, Bates Motel, Masters of Horror, and even the Hitchockesque Twilight Zone. Another newcomer for the year is a similairly titled Ryan Murphy (the man also behind American Horror Story and Glee ) production titled Scream Queens that Nick Jonas and Arianna Grande are set to appear in.

Scream does not boast such an A-List cast. It doesn't even boast the most attractive cast on MTV. The most attractive cast member was slashed in the series premiere. John Karna's character Noah Foster has a dork liked appeal. He's obsessed with serial killers and is the most obvious suspect in the string of murders.

Noah Foster: The Dork

Mr. Branson: The Teacher

Most of these actors don't have wikipedia pages and there acting is two dimensional. The characters are wooden and predictable. The popular jocks and girls and the outsiders. The people who don't fit in. The boy who just moved to town. The hot teacher. Sex obsessed students. Wild parties.

Emma Duvall: The Pretty Well Intentioned Popular Girl

Audrey Jensen: The Lesbian

Brooke Maddox: The Slut

Kieran Wilcox: The Mysterious New Kid Who Just Moved To Town

Will Belmont: The Jock

Clark Hudson: The Sherriff

It works. I'm obsessed with this show. I anticipate every Tuesday. This show is a self aware drama. The students are taking an American Gothic literature class and one of them explains that a slasher show “just wouldn't work”. In fact MTV has marketed it on this point. And, in truth one person was hanged. Not slashed

This show is building itself on the thin guidelines of a slasher. It's not an exact carbon copy. I watch it with the lights off and a bowl of popcorn. It scare me just enough that I can still go to sleep. It's trashy, basic white girl fun, and I stand for it.

Scream is one of my guilty pleasures of the summer. I would not say it's quality television, but it's so entertaining. It also has a little bit of that How To Get Away With Murder intrigue. You don't know who the killer be. So, you have 10 episodes to figure it out and more people get slashed as you go along. So, the suspect pool is much smaller.

I saw one person say it was going to be the teacher. They were like its “so obvious” and I was just like is it? Is it really? I have no guess at this moment. I'm just enjoying the ride.

We also don't have enough main characters to kill one person every week. There was one episode where we only killed one person and I'm just wondering how this is supposed to work. And, I'm supposed to be invested in these people. Just to have them axed. I don't know how much I'm about that life. But, I'll be watching.

Cherie Cheezcake has started watching this show along with Black. It is the five star experience across the boards. I know we're already half way through the season, but you can catch up on MTV.

Watch the first episode here.

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Sparks Fly

4/10/2015

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It's a special Friday Favorites and who am I talking about? TAYLOR SWIFT? No (although “Sparks Fly” is everything). It should come as no surprise that I had to herald the new Hilary Duff single that just dropped on Monday.

It's called “Sparks” and is the third release from her upcoming studio album tentatively titled This Heart. It strays from the acoustic feel of both “Chasing the Sun” and “All About You”. It's a charming song that has just enough sexual overtone to remind us that Hilary Duff is no longer Lizzie McGuire.

“Sparks” features a fun little whistle. It calls back to mind when “Pumped Up Kicks” was the ruling the radio and it had that whistle in it. I think “Sparks” is seriously catchy and it has that hit potential that I love. Hilary Duff needs a new hit or we're never going to get her new album.

I've been saying she needs a buzz single. A duet would work. She could enlist collaborator Ed Sheeran to sing with her. We would eat that up. People would go batshit and she would at the very least get public acknowledgment of her new music. I think it would also pave the way for her to garner radio play. Something she's been severely lacking with all of her previous releases.

I think “Sparks” is a return to form in the pop world. I personally love “All About You” and I think it had hit potential. I don't know why it didn't take to radio the way it should have. I think “Sparks” can be that hit she's looking for. One of her cowriters on the song is Tove Lo. She sang “Stay High” and her new song “Talking Body” might be her next big hit. This collaboration is working.

Bloodshy is also part of this production team. He's a record producer behind Britney Spears hit “Toxic” and Madonna's much celebrated Confessions on a Dancefloor. This is a good projectile to get Hilary that hit.

Tove Lo

Bloodshy

I really like the song. I like the lyrics. I think there sexy and cute and adorable. I'm really feeling this song. It's also being used as the theme for Hilary's new show Younger. Which is killing the game. No news yet on whether it's the ratings success TV Land has been hoping for, but so far it's been maintaing steady views.

Definitely check out Hilary's new song and watch Younger every Tuesday at 10/9 central on TV Land

Buy "Sparks"

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Classic Literature

3/6/2015

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Let me tell you how surprised I was by the level of enamored I was with this short little novel by Voltaire.

I did not expect to like it. Let's look at the facts. It is from the 1700's. Eww. Voltaire is an enlightenment thinker. Double eww. To be perfectly honest I didn't actually plan on reading it all for my English class. Skimming was definitely on my mind. Spark note it if it exists.

As a non-English major I'm taking two many English classes. They're both on Tuesday and Thursday and they both assign a combined two hundred pages of reading and it's like LOL. I am not reading all of this. The reading for Tuesday I got you. The reading for Thursday's does not happen.

At the time I was reading Rabbit Run for my American Masculinities class. That book was insufferable. It wasn't bad, but it really wasn't good. I can't say I enjoyed. And, of course I thought I nailed the essay for that book, because I actually read the whole thing. I did not nail it. I got an 80. I was like da fuck.

I love my American Masculinites class, but I feel like I'm going to fail it. And, by fail I mean get a B in it, but I'm trying so hard and I'm just not doing that well. I walked in on my first day of class with a pair of high heels on, because how else do you walk into an American Masculinities class. It is so great. It's a class filled with radical feminists and these two super sweet boys. And, it came as no surprise that one of them was gay.

It was only after finishing my reading for Rabbit Run that I pick up Candide. The sixty pages I had to read. They were glorious. If I wasn't physically drained, I would have finished it.

I was fire. I was on top of it in class discussion. I just want everyone to know I nailed it, because I almost never nail it. By almost never what I mean is never.

If you don't know the concept of Candide that is okay. It is basically the most bullshit story you will ever read and for it being written over 300 years ago it's perfectly understandable. Unlike my blog in ten years.

The book is satire and it is insane. Butt cheeks are cut off, there are earthquakes, and beatings. Everyone dies at least once in the book. There is so much sex and it is just so good. Voltaire just straight up kills it the entire time.

Now I am a cheap ass college student, who refused to buy any of their textbooks , so you do not need to run out and buy Candide. Even, though you totally should if you want to. This book is only like 120 pages, but it is straight fast forwarding plot.

So, of course I have included the PDF for you to download and read. You can thank me after you read it and are just as obsessed with how awesome Voltaire is. I'm not expressing myself well in truly stating that this book (novella?) is everything you need in life. It might be short, but unlike that hot ass mess that is Utopia. It is everything.

voltaire_candide.pdf
File Size:	240 kb
File Type:	pdf

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That Dollar Sign

1/23/2015

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I was out to dinner. Actually you can't call it dinner. It wasn't dinner. It was breakfast. I was at the always glamorous IHOP with Sacajawea. We decided to visit her boyfriend after watching The Breakfast Club with Rosencrantz.

Rosencrantz had other plans. She had to go out to dinner with her father or something. That's disgusting. I might be projecting. Spending time with my parents is always a joy.

As comes up in dinner conversation, I mention how attractive I think A$AP Rocky is (not to be confused with A$AP Ferg). Sacajawea's boyfriend hardcore judges me and she informs me that her parents would freak out if she brought him home. To be fair my parents who probably die. Half of my family would disown me, it wouldn't go well.

On the bright side. I'll never meet A$AP Rocky. And, if I did. I would not be good for his image. This boy is ratchet, but I love it. I don't know. I just feel like he's intelligent and can hold good conversation. He dresses well and if my parents could get past him being black, I'm sure they still wouldn't be fine.

Now, I have not invested in A$AP Rocky's debut album Long. Live. A$AP however I did read some reviews and it got rave reviews from the critics. I would have bought it, but I'm broke. I worked like two days one week and I had that few hundred dollar ticket. Christmas killed me. Had to buy textbooks. Timing was just not right to invest in A$AP. I will be, though.

I watched the videos to all of his singles for Long. Live. A$AP and his new single for his upcoming album. I was really not a fan of the first single “Goldie”. It was okay, but it was not life. The video was really cool, though, although I was not a fan of his grill- if that's what you call it. It just wasn't for me. But, I like the video it was all set in Paris and he was jamming out with this boy in his car and I liked it.

Buy "Goldie"

The next single was the big, breakout hit for him. It's “Fucking Problems”. Can we just talk about how every time I am shocked by how many times they could fit fuck into this song. I can't even. This song had everything. Drake got into it and you know he made that song “Tuesday” a hit. Then 2 Chainz came in and I just think 2 Chainz is adorable. Kendrick Lamar had a few verses. He's critically acclaimed. I heard his debut album. I was not a fan, but I think he's a good rapper. I just don't appreciate him coming for Nicki Minaj. Like excuse you, you rude ass bitch. This is Nicki Minaj, you better act like you know.

Buy "Fucking Problems"

You might know the follow up single “Wild For The Night”. I did not know it. I really digged it. I liked how A$AP spoke Spanish in the video and I was like is he actually bilingual. I've always said rappers are some of the most intelligent people. They don't get enough credit. People say all they talk about is sex and drugs and I'm like do you mean Rock n Roll? Or pop music or any genre of music. I do feel like some of the criticisms of hip hop are rooted in prejudice and racism, instead of an actual reason.

Do you remember when Lil Wayne caused waves when he rapped “beat that pussy up like Emmett Till”. Now if you're like me you didn't remember that Emmett Till was an African American brutally murdered for flirting with a white woman back in the fifties. That was an incredibly intellectual reference. Now whether it was appropriate or not is another story. But, it still stands that it was intellectual of Lil Wayne.

Now I feel like “Wild For The Night” could have been a hit if A$AP Rocky hadn't pushed it into harder hip-hop. He had Skrillex on it. You know Skrillex is that underground DJ. This could have been a major crossover for him. But, I respect his decision to stay with his roots and I really like the song anyway. So, Kudos to him .

Buy "Wild For The Night"

The other single “Fashion Killa” had Rihanna in the music video. No explanation needed for how great it is. I need Rihanna to date A$AP for me. If I can't have him. Someone else needs to. And, I want it to be someone like Rihanna. Someone who is up to the standards of me.

Buy "Fashion Killa"

His latest single for his yet unnamed sophmore album is called “Multiply” it's got Juicy J on it. You know he's always there for a good time. I'm here for it. I will be buying the new A$AP Rocky album. I really like him. He also did a guest spot on the Tinashe album, Aquarius, with “Pretend”. But, that's something to check out if you want.

He's really cute, so there's that. Anna Wintour has put him in Vogue. That boy looks fine as hell in it. I have that issue. It is good. I am just here for him all around and I will not be judged for liking him. A$AP Rocky can take my body.

Also you should know that there were rumors that he was gay. I didn't know about them, but Sacajawea informed me of them. I thought you should know. They aren't true. If they are, we probably won't have confirmation until he's not relevant. You know how music in general is and hip-hop does have a lot of misogynistic tendencies. A rapper cannot be gay and be successful at this time.

I mean Sam Smith sneaked it in on us after three hit songs. He was like by the way I'm gay. If America is one thing, we like to pretend like we're not bigots. People don't even talk about the fact that Sam Smith is gay. It's not because it's not a problem, it's because if we don't talk about it. We can just pretend he's straight.

I tell people all the time and they're surprised. People do not talk about it. This is good for Sam Smith. It's out in the open and he had one of the best selling albums of 2014 with In The Lonely Hour. And, “I'm Not The Only One” is eating up the charts. Go you Sam Smith. Kill it.

If anything A$AP Rocky is probably bisexual, but it seems like you can only be straight or gay. We also like to ignore the fact that bisexuals exist. That's annoying. In the mean time I'm just going to keep enjoying looking at A$AP Rocky and love him whatever he decides. Because, his sexual orientation is irrelevant to me liking him.

Side note that he was in Lana Del Rey's music video for “National Anthem”. He plays John F. Kennedy. So, that's totally normal. And, speaking of Sam Smith he did do a remix of “I'm Not The Only One” that features a rap from A$AP Rocky.

Buy "National Anthem"

Can you imagine if A$AP Rocky and Sam Smith were a thing. I like Sam Smith, but I just don't want to think about him having sex. Like no. Just stay cute and adorable. And, I'll pretend like you're not having good sex with my celebrity crush A$AP Rocky.

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Scream MTV

Sparks Fly

Classic Literature

That Dollar Sign

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