Category: Thursday

Paris Is Burning

6/22/2017

Paris Is Burning is one of the defining documentaries of the 1980s. It brought vogueing to the mainstream from the underground black and gay communities of New York City. It's been highly influential in exposing a part of society that was neglected for the better part of the 20th century.

RuPaul's sole hit “Supermodel (You Better Work)” cites “Shantay! Sashay!” His TV show Drag Race dedicates a portion to “reading”. Because, reading is what? FUNDAMENTAL! RuPaul would even airlift one of Venus Xtravaganza's read into his single “Looking Good, Feeling Gorgeous”. Venus declared, “your just an overgrown orangutan!”

Venus Xtravganza famously said, "I would like to be a spoiled rich white girl. They get whatever they want."

The documentary includes nuggets of wisdom from all walks of life. Octavia Saint Laurent said, “I think all men are dogs (…) they all start barking sooner or later.” Or take Eileen Ford's advice when it comes to modeling, “when people ask you how you feel don't tell them your sick, because they don't really care.” Paris Is Burning is the kind of gem that has to be watched at least once.

My Heart Will Go On

6/15/2017

No power ballad has ever come close to topping Titanic's love theme. “My Heart Will Go On” reigned for two weeks at number one in the United States and Dion performed the song at the Billboard Music Awards this year in order to honor it's storied history.

The song has been called “corny”, Kate Winslet reportedly hates the song, but it's stood the enduring test of time. Celine Dion had to be coerced by her manager to sing it. James Cameron didn't want the song to close his film. But, what does the 21st century have to top it? “A Thousand Years”? “I Don't Wanna Live Forever”?

The song was reportedly finished in one take. Celine wasn't feeling well and she'd had a cup of coffee (gasp!) that night. But, it's the songs slow vocal build that only Dion could deliver that made it such a timeless classic. The two albums it was featured on sold 60 million copies worldwide. Time has served the song well after it's over exposure in the 90s. The singer has gone on to dedicate the song to her husband Rene Angelil, who passed away last year.

Celine said of the song that every night before she performs she says, “I'm not going to sing that song again (…) then (…) I think (…) what a song. What a moment.”

Buy "My Heart Will Go On"

Terror Train

6/8/2017

A love of Jamie Lee Curtis and 80s horror films led me to watch the critically disparaged and moderate commercial success of Terror Train. The film hasn't been added to the National Film Registry, but I think it's a forgotten gem in the slasher genre.

Terror Train has it all. A sick joke gone awry. Frat boys with their throats slit. Trains. A killer who changes outfits with every kill. It's frankly classic. By 21st century standards it plays as a thriller, the show down between Jamie Lee Curtis and the killer offers the most scintillating excitement.

Jamie Lee Curtis made the early part of her career starring as the survivor girl in a string of horror films and Terror Train would be one of her last. She would reprise her role as Laurie Strode in Halloween II one last time, before going on to win a BAFTA for her role in Trading Places in 1983.

Prom Night

6/1/2017

ThisJamie Lee Curtis started her film career out with a string of horror films. Her big break was in the film Halloween, and she would continue to master the art of being the “survivor girl” over the rest of her career. Prom Night was one of her many outrageous slashers.

The film starts out innocently enough with the accidental death of child, but much like I Know What You Did Last Summer it's going to come back to haunt them. All four responsible for screaming, “Kill! Kill! Kill!” at the little girl before she falls out of a window get a mysterious call warning them about the night to come. They ignore it. This isn't the Scream series after all. You have the virgin, the slut, and the bitch. All ready to die.

One of the many flaws of the film is that no one realizes they're in a horror movie until the end. They're just dancing, laughing, not knowing their friends throat just got slit in the bathroom. The killer is amusedly inept at actually killing anyone. He bumbles around with a shard of glass and an axe. It's no wonder Jamie Lee Curtis takes him down. Her boyfriend is NO help. And, let's not forget when the killer had the chance to hack Nick to pieces just to hesitate long enough to have Jamie Lee Curtis intervene. WEAK.

The film ends with enough melodrama to be predictably fun. The killer's motive was to avenge his sister's death. Like cool motive bro, still murder. Especially when you've killed a nurse and one girl's boyfriend who had nothing to do with pushing your sister out a window. But I digress. It's a great way to pass the time, with limited horror involved.

She's Sooo Rock N Roll

8/11/2016

Avril Lavigne's decade plus career in the music industry has yielded hits, multi-platinum albums, and iconic pieces of pop culture.

Since, the eighties and the invention of the music video, an artist has been revealed and proliferated through what they can convey through a TV screen. Madonna and Michael Jackson mastered this art of communication, while others have slipped. Avril Lavigne with her anti-commercial stance has fumbled in her “I'm not like other girls” image.

This is a list of her 5 Worst (Best?) music videos, one from each Avril Lavigne era, that visually guide us through her punk rock reveling image.

Buy "Complicated"

Let Go (2001)
“Complicated”
Avril Lavigne's breakthrough hit was accompanied by a video that introduced her to pop fans. The video may have been good for it's time, but it certainly hasn't held up. See this along with “Sk8r Boi” for the template of social rejects who didn't fit into the Britney/Christina mold.

The video finds Avril hanging out with her boys. She's too cool to have girlfriends after all. She's not the kind of girl who talks about lip gloss. It poignantly starts with her asking her skater friends, “Dude you wanna crash the mall?” Someone had to shoplift the Hot Topic on Tuesday and Avril Lavigne's schedule was free.

Buy "Don't Tell Me"

Under My Skin (2004)
“Don't Tell Me”
This album was an attempt to make Avril more “mature”. A look that decidedly hasn't worked for her. It produced a number of hits and the music video's were more palatable then it's predecessor. Still it's a toss up between “Don't Tell Me” and “He Wasn't” for worst visual treatment.

Where “He Wasn't” revels in it's parody status of a garage band filming it's low budget video, the stalker theme of “Don't Tell Me” isn't so self aware. Avril finds herself following her low rent boyfriend, an anonymous goth. She's a child of the streets after all. It's a painful trip of angst. Fist to broken mirror included!!

Buy "Girlfriend"

The Best Damn Thing (2007)
“Girlfriend”
Avril Lavigne finally caught onto the game she was playing. “Girlfriend” was her knockout cheerleader rant hit and the video is a sticky guilty pleasure. It was once the most viewed video on YouTube and for good reasons. It's easy to make fun of, but that's what we were supposed to do. There's a cute dark haired boy. There's two girls. One who has him and one who “deserves” him. Avril Lavigne is the protagonist and antagonist ala Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”. AND, it all takes place at a Golf N Stuff (Family Fun Center).

Buy "What The Hell"

Goodbye Lullaby (2011)
“What The Hell”
You can argue this song parodies the Avril Lavigne sonic sounds and lyrical content she's made her brand off of. It does, all in a tongue in cheek way. It makes sense that the video follows suit. You see Avril Lavigne being a bad girl, stealing taxi cabs. You can even find her mother making a cameo as a store clerk.

Buy "Rock N Roll"

Avril Lavigne (2013)
“Rock N Roll”
Say what you want about the visual for “Here's To Never Growing Up”, it was fun, candy coated, and predictable. And, arguably “Hello Kitty” was the worst, but nothing was more middle finger raising about expectations for an Avril Lavigne video then “Rock N Roll”. There's product placement (Can I make it any more obvious?). Cartoon graphics circa the campy Batman in the sixties and some Katy Perry kissing girls action. It has it all and exactly what you would want from Avril Lavigne a decade after her foray into the music industry.

The Roberts Mayfair Magnolia Hotel

7/28/2016

18 stories of red brick and terra cotta ornamented 1920's elegance, the Magnolia Hotel is one of the luxury boutique hotels you can stay at on your trip to St. Louis.

Last year I went on a three day overnight trip their with the twins (You can read about that here and here). We stayed in the Daily Value Inn. Serviceable, but not outstanding. A recent one day trip with Rosencrantz and Sacajawea gave me a chance to see another part of St. Louis. Downtown, in all of it's historic glamour and evenly paved sidewalks. We splurged on the Magnolia after realizing we would be spending most of our time in the hotel.

The 182 room hotel was first opened by hotel manager Mr. Heiss in 1925. He was from Bavaria and if my reading from British detective fiction is accurate, the Bavarians are known for their service.

Nothing seems to have changed in the past ninety odd years it's been open. The service was impeccable and the hotel was beautiful in all of it's retro glory. There were chandeliers, stained glass, white bed sheets, and a beautiful view of the hotel across the street.

I was obsessed with our room and our neatly wrapped bar of soap. It was clean, pristine, and not a single bed bug in site. I took a picture just to remind myself of how poor I am. Six dollars for a small pot of coffee, a five dollar delivery charge, and an include 25% gratuity charge can do that to you.

The hotel was designed by Preston J. Bradshaw. He was a famous St. Louis architect and I use the phrase “famous” loosely. He had regional fame if you were into architects, but he was certainly not a Frank Lloyd Wright. The hotel was beautiful.

On multiple occassions the hotel has been renovated, the most recent renovation changed it from the the Roberts Mayfair Hotel to the Magnolia Hotel. Originally the hotel was known simple as the Mayfair Hotel. The hotel was modern and the pipes had good pressure. The three elevators also move fast enough to make you spill your milk on the wood inlaid floors.

Every night the Magnolia Hotel sets out complimentary milk and cookies. My heart is warmed, especially after finding $5 bottles of Voss Water in our rooms.

The hotel has also been host to a string of Hollywood celebrities. Most notably Cary Grant who has his own suite named after him on the 18th floor to remind guests of the hotel's vast history. Cary Grant has been acknowledged for starting the practice of placing chocolate on a hotel pillow. According to legend he placed placed a chocolate on the pillow to seduce his female companion.

Other guests such as Irving Berlin, President Truman, and John Barrymore of the Barrymore family have marked the hotels intensive guest list.

#NeverTrump

Unfortunately their were no tragic stories to suggest anything sinister going on from the quick google search I did. No murders. No suicides. Although, apparently guests used to sneak into the hotel kitchen to find out how the chef made his famous salad dressing. None succeeded.

These three college students enjoyed our stay there. It was gorgeous and historic, just like my mother. We might have spent too much money, but with beds as soft and wifi as quick, what is the cost of a hotel room when split three ways? We even used the gym and found the ice room. The hotel practically played for itself. I have a bottle of hair conditioner in my luggage right now.

The A-List New York

5/19/2016

The A-List New York was Logo’s version of The Real Housewives franchise only gayer. It was the most perfect show on cable. I watched it sporadically during its brief two season run and decided to catch back up on all the oiled and muscled bodies during my summer vacation.

This show is the perfect culmination of all the reasons you love and hate white gays all at the same time. Granted two of the six main cast members are Hispanic, and by the start of season 2, we even have a nice black girl to throw into the mix. Tragically, Nyasha isn’t a lesbian.

Austin

Each season takes place in New York during the summer. Speedos are on, bulges are out. It’s a cosmopolitan way to enjoy the gay lifestyle. They go to trendy bars, have cocktail parties, dress in drag, and go to Fire Island for the weekend. There’s too much plaid for them to be true trendsetters, but that can be forgiven.

The cast includes some innocuous people. The center focus season one was Reichen. The cast had this strange fondness for him. He’s pretty and he’s gay and he dated Lance Bass, so what’s not to love, but I never grew attached to him. He came across as scummy. Slimy if you want to go that far. But, believe it that I died when the nudes and the video of him masturbating were leaked on the internet.

Reichen was dating this guy named Rodiney. He’s bisexual and Brazilian and essentially just a pretty face. His personality driven plot point was that everybody hated him without any real reason. And, some how his English got worse in between the first and second season.

My personal favorite was Derek. He’s bitchy. Spray tanned and I think really sexy. We have a lot in common. We’re both bitter, successful people, who have high standards and high bank accounts that we expect out of our partners. He might be a gold digger and that’s okay. He’s best friends with Lindsay Lohan and I think that’s all that really matters in life.

Then, you have Austin. He’s the troublemaker in the group. Every good reality show needs it. He punches people. Takes all his clothes off, gets fluffed for a porn shoot. He’s the boy next door who wants to fuck Reichen, while he’s engaged to a vaguely attractive British model named Jake. I don’t know how much of it is put on and how much of it is the real Austin, but it’s not pretty. The worst mistake Derek made was being his best friend. Good thing the redemption arc ended with Derek dropping him cold.

Ryan and TJ make up the hair salon boys. Ryan is filthy rich in a gaudy fun way. He’s a true friend if non-confrontational. TJ is the voice of Ryan. His assistant, best friend, he flirts with everyone. Their friendship is what I aspire to have in my life. Their both perfect and I live for them.

Mike Ruiz is the final pigeon hole of the group. He’s sexy and commonly referred to as “Auntie Mike” for his nurturing older gay ways. Why is he on the show? No one knows, but he adds a certain level of maturity to a show filled with Austin showing us his naked ass.

There’s only two seasons to go through. 22 episodes in all, but the A-List New York is a show to live by. Pop the popcorn, hit the gym, and bring your Galliano to a show lost to ratings network.

You Don't Own Me

5/5/2016

Quite recently I was listening to the radio and by quite recently I mean practically every day when I heard a cover of Lesley Gore's classic hit, “You Don't Own Me”. It was reworked by this girl named Grace. I don't know her from Australia, but it's a very nice little update. The song also features a few rapped verses from G-Easy. I've listened to it a few times and I feel like he's missed the point of the song.

Buy "You Don't Own Me"

“You Don't Own Me” is such a vibrant song and it deserved to be reworked for a younger 21st century audience. It's all about telling your significant other that they can't control you. It's the song used to close the movie The First Wives Club, an entire film dedicated to the revitalization of women brought down by their husbands.

No song can make you feel as empowered as “You Don't Own Me”. I live for it and I think G-Easy missed the point, but that's just my own humble homosexual opinion.

If you don't know who Lesley Gore is, that's okay. She's probably one of my favorite lesbians. Tragically she passed away last year of lung cancer.

She was active in the public spotlight for a short time during the sixties. She never had blockbuster albums, but she had multiple hits to her name. Iconic songs, you might be able to easily recognize some of them still.

The biggest of these was “It's My Party”. Well known for it's refrain, “it's my party and I'll cry if I want to.” This inspired a “concept” album of songs that had to do with tears, which quite honestly is better in theory then in practice. “It's My Party” was her number one and breakout hit. It's what made her star.

The song also inspired a follow up hit “Judy's Turn To Cry” that followed the story arc of the previous song. Because, “now it's Judy's turn to cry, because Johnny's coming back to me”. Now why she wants him back is still up in the air, but needless to say she does. Who said love wasn't real.

Quite recently we've seen a wave of nostalgia come back on the radio whether that's in the form of eighties synths or Meghan Trainor's bright reincarnations, her latest musical inspiration being nineties Britney Spears updates. Voice contestant Melanie Martinez include a sample of “It's My Party” on her debut album Cry Baby in a song called “Pity Party”. Swedish duo Icona Pop even used it in a much maligned “My Party”. Lesley Gore's musical influence is impossible to deny.

Buy "Pity Party"

Lesley Gore was also an active member in the gay community. She did a lot of work to help the LGBT community. She was in a relationship with Lois Sasson for 33 years. Tragically, Lesley Gore passed away before the historic Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage.

To me Lesley Gore is more then just a blip on the map of American music. She's an influential and important marker of what a star is. She never did quite stop working. After a musical hiatus she came back in 2005 with a final album.

And, if that's not enough, she also guest starred on Batman back in her hey day. What more could you ask for?

The Duke is Dead

4/21/2016

Former living legend, Patty Duke has passed away at the young age of sixty nine. The exact cause had something to do with “sepsis”. A particularly nasty word for when the body attacks itself in response to an affection.

Patty Duke was an actress of the golden age. Not that she was an Elizabeth Taylor by any stretch of the imagination. Instead she was a Ricky Nelson. A teen idol. A blonde cornerstone of American youth.

I actually have such a relationship with Patty Duke. She's been apart of my life. I always used to watch The Patty Duke Show with my great aunt. It was our thing along with The Price is Right and The Dick Van Dyke Show.

I used to catch up with The Patty Duke Show in high school. I would have it on the TV in the morning. It came on at 5:30. I would get dressed and blearily watch it. Patty Duke was my bitch.

The Patty Duke Show was a good sixties sitcom. It was in black and white. Patty Duke pulled some Haley Mills, Parent Trap voodoo, she played two identical cousins. They were Patty and Cathy. It was full of innocent, heterosexual reassuring past times. The comedy was classic and pure and child friendly. The show only had 3 seasons, but they packed in over a 100 episodes. It was a time to be alive.

This show was the foundation of her career. It's her namesake and what she is more then likely most well known for.

She did a lot of stage acting later in her career, but she also played Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker. That's an iconic movie. It had Anne Bancroft in it. The movie dealt with Helen and Anne Sullivan helping her come to terms with and deal with her physical impairments. It's classic viewing if you have a love for Helen Keller.

Patty Duke had other mature roles, but none that are truly noteworthy.

Except, for her turn as Neely O'Hara in Valley of the Dolls. The movie is kind of shit if we're being real, but it's some good shit. It's trashy fun. I live for it.

The movie does not do justice to the pop culture classic that was the book of the same name by Jacqueline Susann. This movie has it all. Pill popping, big boobs. It also had Sharon Tate in it. One of the many Charles Manson murder victims.

Patty Duke also had a singing career. She only had one sizeable hit, but it hit the top ten so that's nothing to scoff at. “Don't Just Stand There” hit number eight and she also had a top forty hit with “Say Something Funny”. Her albums didn't sell, but that's okay. She's a culture icon.

Buy "Don't Just Stand There"

I know Patty Duke hadn't been doing anything recently, but it's sad to see her go. She was a cultural staple of an earlier more racist, homophobic society. And, I for one loved Patty Duke. She will be missed.

Hard Nipples & Crime Fighting

4/7/2016

One of the reasons I've wanted to grow up in the seventies was not only so I could have lived through Donna Summer's artistic and commercial peak, but so I could have caught Charlie's Angels every night it came on ABC.

Charlie's Angels is the kind of rerun I like to catch on TV. It has it all. Sex. Violence. A mysterious wealthy benefactor. It was a massive ratings success, even if it only lasted for 5 seasons. More a result of the ever changing cast, then an actual dip in quality.

There are so many criticisms of Charlie's Angels. All of them well founded. They said people only watched, because of the sexy female leads. Their not wrong, but it's not as if there was anything better to watch. And, Farrah Fawcett's nipples were amazing. May she rest in peace. Charlie's Angels in truth was good mindless filler TV.

It was also the launching pad of it's three main stars. The original trio: Farrah Fawcett, Jaclyn Smith, and Kate Jackson.

Farrah was the true star. Sexy. Blond bombshell. She had that amazing smile. She was friendly and personable. I cried when she passed away from cancer. She was my childhood and even though she was only a series regular for one season, I feel like she's the trademark blonde angel.

Jaclyn Smith was the only one who made it for all 5 seasons. She knew a good thing when she had it. This girl got shot so many times. She was tall, dark, and glamorous. I don't think she was “fun”, but she was very serious. And, such a classic beauty. Charlie's Angels would be lost without her.

Farrah Fawcett

Jaclyn Smith

Kate Jackson

Shelley Hack

Cheryl Ladd

I LIVE for Kate Jackson. Her personality was spunky and sparkly. She's one of my favorite angels. Not the most traditionally pretty, but she was sentimental and necessary. It still hurts that she left after season 3. Even if that did open up a spot for one of my personal favorite angels.

Shelley Hack was a supermodel. Gorgeous. Stunning. She only lasted for one season, maybe it was one, two many blondes in a season. But, season 4 had the sharpest writing out of all of them. Charlie's Angels was elevated to true quality television. Shelley Hack has a solid place of pure unconditional love in my heart. Forever and always

Cheryl Ladd was Farrah Fawcett's replacement for season 2. She made it all the way until the end. She was Jill's (Farrah Fawcett) sister, but she didn't have the bright star quality that Farrah did. Farrah Fawcett was a one in a million. Cheryl Ladd was pretty, but boring. Honestly, she was never one of my favorites and that's not a bad thing. She just didn't grow on me.

Tanya Roberts was the final angel. She did little for me, but she was pretty. Season 5 was the place to end it.

Charlie's Angels lives on as a pop culture phenom. It had that horrible reboot a few years ago. Those wonderful movies with Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu fucking shit up. They were amazing. Despite what anyone will tell you, this show and everything connected to it was golden, and God truly blessed us when he gave us Charlie's Angels.