Category: Short

Naomi Campbell

8/25/2016

Legendary supermodel, Naomi Campbell is my extremely problematic fave. Known to the current generation for teaching Gigi Hadid how to “walk” and her role on Empire. Some have forgotten Naomi's long history of her glamorously short temper, but that's part of her enduring charm.

Naomi has on multiple times been accused of hitting her employees. Whether it be her limo driver, her personal assistant on three different continents, or her housekeeper, the list is tirelessly endless. Naomi couldn't find her jeans and she needed to take her frustrations out on someone. She has a reputation to uphold.

This is the woman after all who broke her toe, but still wore heels “because she couldn't ruin the look”. She's taken court ordered anger management classes and admitted that she used to have a problem with cocaine. Who hasn't.

And, let's not forget the time she had to testify before the United Nations about receiving blood diamonds from Liberian dictator Charles Taylor in 1997. Although as she so eloquently put at the trial, “I had never heard of Charles Taylor before. I had never heard of of the country Liberia before. I had never heard the term blood diamonds before.”

Mia Farrow described the stone she received as a “large diamond” and Naomi claimed she had “never receive a diamond” and conflictingly “they were very, small, dirty.”

She also completed community service in a Dolce & Gabana dress. There's nothing more quintessentially Naomi Campbell then that.

0 Comments

The Cover Of A Playboy Magazine

11/5/2015

1 Comment

I waited to publish this article. I heard the news. I was casually on twitter not paying attention to the third party contract my professor was discussing when I find out that Playboy is no longer participating in nudity. The magazine for men is giving up it's pornographic past.

Shock. It hit me. What is Playboy without it's centerfold unfurled with bunny ears and her breasts out? The concept of boys reading Playboy for the articles throws me.

I did some research for you. Founded in 1953 by the still CEO, Hugh Hefner, Playboy was America's premier trashy magazine. With enough of a glamourized past to inspire the short lived retro throwback The Playboy Club. Not even the gorgeous Amber Heard and Eddie Cibrian could save it

The fate of the centerfold is still in question. Reasons for the change have been noted as a decreased circulation. Currently, the magazine has a subscription of 700,000 compared to it's 70's 5.6 million. Hugh Hefner cited the easy access of pornographic images in any possible combination as the reason for the change. There will still be scantily clad women.

Playboy is archaic as a symbol of patriarchal society. However, without it we wouldn't have the nudes of all the famous women we do. Playboy has been quite successful in this endeavor. Marilyn Monroe, Farrah Fawcett, and Drew Barrymore. And, let's not forget Lindsay Lohan who said it was freeing “not to use a vaginal plug.”

I have a conflicted view of Playboy. Despite the obvious misgivings, they've done some upstanding things. They refused to publish the nudes of Vanessa Williams. Eventually, Penthouse went on to publish them forcing her to give back her crown.

Conversely, their Playgirl publication published the unsolicited nudes of Brad Pitt. The magazine sold out before it could be removed from stands.The 90's were the time to be alive. It was an intelligent business decision if not ethical.

Playboy has done some things to garner the argument that men “read it for the articles”. Stephen King got his start publishing short stories in Playboy. They've also included works by notable writers such as Ian Fleming and Margaret Atwood. Famed Japanese writer Haruki Murakami is included on their list of contributors. I wrote an article on him entitled “Translation Please” (read here).

Even, Shel Silverstein has some of his cartoon renderings included in the pages of a Playboy magazine. Apparently, Playboy was a showcase for cartoonists.

The argument that Playboy is an intellectual pursuit is slim. Even, with it's political commentary, that does tend to run liberal. A point in it's favor is that Playboy has been printed in braille. The question is do they put erotic descriptions of the centerfold in place of the picture for the blind. Or is it truly just an intellectual pursuit like it's proponents claim.

It seems like an end to an era. A new generation of children will no longer be able to find sexually explicit magazines in their father's sock drawer. Could there ever be another House Bunny movie? Is the objectification of blonde shell bombs over? And, more importantly will we ever see another Kendra Wilkinson. A girl who's fame is based solely on her large breasts and perky personality and who's husband still cheated on her. Only magazine subscriptions will tell.

1 Comment

Grease Is The Word

7/1/2015

0 Comments

There's nothing more iconic then Grease. It's one of those movies everyone has to see. There's not a single person who doesn't like this movie. You can't trust someone who doesn't like Grease. If they don't like this movie their obviously going through some mental issues that you don't have the time to help them work through.

This movie came out in the summer of 1978. Not only was the movie a smash, but it's soundtrack became the definitive Grease. It boasted the Frankie Valli led theme song “Grease”, two outings with Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta in the lead with “You're The One That I Want” and “Summer Nights”, along with the Olivia Newton John solo “Hopelessly Devoted To You”. It's no surprise that it went on to sell over 28 million copies worldwide.

I became a proud owner recently and I might I add that it was the best decision of my entire life. If you grew up with this movie in your life. You need the soundtrack. Anyone who decides to get rid of it should be hospitalized.

Of course I suffered through the movie again, so I could accurately throwback. Let's just start with that cartoon intro. I have a soft place for it in my heart. It's so cute and adorable. It's perfect actually. It invokes childhood and that's what this movie is for most of us.

I feel like the obsession that Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta had with one another was never really expressed well enough. Now don't get me wrong. John Travolta was kind of hot with that cigarette dangling out of his mouth. What happened to him. Neither of them aged particularly well, but Olivia is 66. She looks good, I just feel like John got his face pulled one too many times.

Rewatching this movie as an “adult” I caught so many things. Danny and Kenickie had there three friends. They acted a fool. They were basically the three stooges. All of the T-Birds acted out masculinity. Danny and Kenickie had that moment when they were like “I love you as a bro” and then they pretended to be chill. Because, real men don't have emotions or care about people. Whatever.

As a child I never caught that Rizzo was pregnant. Rizzo is honestly my favorite character. I understand and relate to her the most. She's a strong female. Who just kind of powers through with this strength. She's also queen bitch of the Pink Ladies and lord knows I need that jacket. My favorite song in the whole movie is “There Are Worse Things I Could Do”. She lists all these things that are terrible things, but the worst possible thing she can do is cry in front of Kenickie. I feel that on a spiritual level. There are plenty of boys that have made me cry, but I be damned if I'm going to cry in front of them.

The romance between Kenickie and Rizzo is also a lot closer to my heart. Kenickie is supposed to be this bad boy who has all this sex, but he lost his virginity to Rizzo. Do not be mistaken. When there in that car he says “it broke. I bought it in the 7th grade.” He's talking about a condom. He wanted to be cool. That's it. Rizzo decides it doesn't matter and they have sex.

When she gets pregnant and Kenickie finally finds out he wants to be there for her. Yes. He's excited when it turns out she isn't, but they're barely out of high school. That's not as douchey as it seems. I just love them. I love them so much.

This movie is problematic. There's no denying that. However, watching it with a critical eye I realize that Sandy wasn't the only one changing. Danny tried changing for her. Danny at his core was a good guy. It was all the posturing with the T-Birds that made him act like an ass. Whenever, he hurt Sandy's feelings it was to impress them.

The only time I don't see why he was so insistent was when they were in the drive in movie and he kind of forced himself on her. That seemed unnecessary. It's the kind of thing Danny Zuko was supposed to do and that's why I think he acted on it.

He also tried sports for Sandy. He decided to go prep for Sandy at the end, and then Olivia Newton-John came out in that sexy skin tight black patent leather and slayed the world with that hair. Sandy made the change so she could be with Danny, but I really feel it was something she was comfortable doing. The reason her ears weren't pierced was because of her father. She was a good girl.

Sandy's friends and the people she aligned herself with were the delinquents. I think this transition was for her. Now, that doesn't mean this isn't problematic, but it's the way it is. It's also ironic that they both tried to change for each other when the theme song of Grease literally says “we can be who we are”.

The dance was pivotal. Marty through herself at the older announcer. Rizzo slayed up and down that fucking gym floor in that red spotted dress. I just love Stockard Channing. Killed it. Of course Danny fucked up again when he let himself dance with Cha Cha, who as Frenchie put it was “the best dancer at St. Bernadette's with the worst reputation.” Cha Cha was hot, though. I blame Danny and I also don't blame him.

"Beauty School Dropout"

Frenchie is the only one who made it in Grease 2 (and no we're not talking about that train wreck). She turned her hair a lovely shade of pink. She was sweet and loveable. Frankie Avalon sang to her and told her not to become a beautician unless she wanted to style hookers. Which, really sounds like a lot of fun.

The car scene where they raced on thunder roadvmade my day. I teared up a little. It was amazing. My father cut the “Greased Lightening” scene out of the VHS tape. I guess he didn't want me seeing John Travolta gyrating in suggestive manners. He didn't want me to get the wrong idea.

The only other thing about this movie that I just adored was how short the boys shorts were. To have been alive in the racist homophobic era of the fifties would have been so much fun.

Someday I hope to also be dressed in skin tight leather. A cigarette in my hand. Cue the music and say “Tell me about it. Stud.” And crush the cigarette under my stiletto. Grease is life goals

0 Comments

Mama Kelis

1/1/2015

0 Comments

You know Kelis as the woman behind “Milkshake” and “Bossy”. I love her to death and I have taken to affectionately calling her Mama Kelis. Which, is really not a good idea. When, I went out to buy her latest album Food, I could not find it anywhere.

I asked a clerk if they had the Mama Kelis album Food and he looked it up and he said they didn't carry any artists named Mama Kelis. I had to explain to him that is just what I call her. I did end up getting the album. It came out the same day as when Iggy dropped The New Classic. If you read the Friday Favorites article last week you know how underwhelmed I was with that album.

Kelis to so many people is just a footnote in pop culture. She is more popular in Europe. Her first hit song was “Caught Out There” and the chorus is a screaming match of “I hate you so much right now!” She kills her man in the video. It kills. It was a minor hit in the United States, but over the seas it was immensely and launched her career.

Buy "Caught Out There"

Her second album was not even released in the United States. It was her third album Tasty that achieved the greatest chart success for her in her home country. It produced the ubiquitous “Milkshake” and is an all around great record.

Kelis is an albums artist. She releases fantastic works. All of her albums have received critical acclaim, the critics love her. Radio just tends not to. Even, when she turned to dance music for a little moment, radio said LOL. No.

Buy "Tasty"

That's too bad, because she's fantastic. You may also know Kelis for her marriage with nasty Nas. That boy. I kind of love their love, but it was ratchet. The music they did together, though. Oh, my god. They were having good sex. I am sure of it. Listen to either “In Public” or “Blindfold Me” and you will be like god damn.

Buy "In Public"

Buy "Blindfold Me"

It is steamy. It is hot. It's nasty of course. Their collaborations are everything. The reason I probably refer to Kelis as Mama Kelis now is that since she had her child the music has changed. Not in a bad way. I love it all, but when she was doing the music video for “Acapella ” if you find that the reason her life is no longer acapella is because of her baby.

She's also a very mature 35. I see her as a vivacious sexy mother figure. I'm not really sure why. I love Jenny Lewis and I hardly call her Mama Jenny and she's almost forty. There's just this deep love between me and Kelis. I want everyone to love her.

Speaking of that. I love Food, but if you are not into soulful retro R&B, stay far away. Go for the more contemporary Tasty or Kelis Was Here. If you want that dance music pick up Flesh Tone. She also supplied these fizzy seductive vocals to a fantastic Calvin Harris song, “Bounce”.

Buy "Bounce"

Critically speaking Kelis Was Here was nominated for a Grammy award for best contemporary R&B album, so I suppose it's better then Tasty. I would disagree. Kelis Was Here did not win, but she was up against Beyonce and it's Beyonce. Like if Kelis had won. She would have been murdered. No one beats Beyonce. That doesn't happen.

Hopefully you have been reminded of “Milkshake” if nothing else and honestly. If that's all Kelis ever contributes to pop culture. Her stay has been more then welcome.

0 Comments

Naomi Campbell

The Cover Of A Playboy Magazine

Grease Is The Word

Mama Kelis

About

Archives

Categories

Naomi Campbell﻿

The Cover Of A Playboy Magazine

Grease Is The Word

Mama Kelis

About

Archives

Categories

Naomi Campbell