He Hit Me (It Felt Like A Kiss)

Singer Little Eva is claimed to be the inspiration for the Crystal's song “He Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss)”. She was regularly being beaten by her boyfriend and when asked why she put up with it, she said something to the effect of “He does it because he loves me.” Now, the only reason I know this song is because my great aunt enjoy the Crystals, and as a child she would pull  out the record machine and slip it on.

That's why when I was listening to Lana Del Rey's “Ultraviolence” I was pleasantly surprised to hear her referencing such a hauntingly straight forward song, sung in such a sweet complacency you wonder if they were one of Lily Allen's inspirations.

The shocking thing about Little Eva is that she was a star. She made the song “Locomotion” popular long before Kylie Minogue gained recognition with it in the United States. Her name can be added to a long list of popular women who have faced domestic abuse. Jessica Simpson, Tyra Banks, even Oprah who has stated that “love doesn't hurt.”

Buy "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)"

But, these women have simply joined a pedigreed list of women who include Tina Turner and Whitney Houston. You may even remember when Romanian singer Alexandra Stan was hospitalized after physical violence from her manager. Domestic abuse continues to happen, and it seems only natural to look back on what in pop culture has done to justify or bring awareness to it.  Let's not forget not only abuse towards women, but also children. You may remember that Woody Allen made headlines recently for the sexual abuse of his daughter during her childhood.

This is something The Color Purple author Alice Walker, directly addresses with Celie's character who is not only verbally and sexually abused by her father, but follows her into adulthood where her husband takes a much more physical toll on her body.

"I have had, basically, my face bashed in, and I never did anything about it.” - Tina Turner

Even, Joan Crawford was accused (after her passing) that she physically and verbally abused all four of her children. Many have stated that they believe Christina Crawford's claims to be false. The simple timing publication of her book led to many eyebrow raising questions.

Her mother had just passed  and many have said that she waited until after her mother died to publish a tell all so she could not only get part of her mother's estate, but cash in on her mother's passing. Who knows what's true. Their relationship was most certainly not perfect no matter what it was. You don't write a tell all ruining the reputation of the mother who love you unconditionally. There is truth built into Christian Crawford's retelling. Also, if you haven't seen the movie Mommie Dearest, you need to. It's a cult classic for a reason and it's terribly bad (Although, Faye Dunaway does a terrific job as Joan Crawford).

As far as the cinema goes there are many to choose from, but one of my personal favorites is the heartbreaking The Burning Bed. Farrah Fawcett stars in the lead role of an abused housewife. 

 It tells the real life story of a woman who has been abused for so long by her husband that she ends up setting the bed they share on fire. Farrah Fawcett does a terrific job and its one of the most heartfelt performances I've ever seen her give. A must watch, It's not on netflix, but if you see it in the stores pick it up. It's well worth the price of admission.

Now, this is a guilty pleasure. If you've never seen Julia Roberts Sleeping With the Enemy, you need to. This movie is at it's core a psychological thriller with a candy coated plot. Not nearly as deep as The Burning Bed, the lengths to which Julia Robert's is willing to go to end her abusive relationship is astounding. This is one of my favorite movies and it's not hard to connect with her abject fear.

Many songwriters have dealt head on with abuse over the years, not just the Crystals. Many of them you may know: Martina McBride's “Concrete Angels”, Kelly Rowland's “Dirty Laundry” (You may not have actually heard this song, but you know of it. This is the one where everyone said she was jealous of Beyonce. But, who isn't?), and of course “Hit Me Baby One More Time”. I still can't believe Britney tackled a tough issue at such a young age.

Hard rocker Alice Cooper wrote the song “Only Women Bleed” (Which is not about menstruation as some people suggest), but instead that only women are affected in times of domestic abuse. The great Tina Turner even covered it in 1999 for a greatest hits of Ike and Tina Turner of all things. 

RuPaul, Madonna, and Pat Benatar all deal with child abuse with “Never Go Home Again”, “Oh Father”, and “Hell is for Children”. “Never Go Home Again” is certainly more directed towards a gay audience. Yes, Frankie shouldn't have to wear makeup in order to hide the scars, but a lot of it deals with the emotional side of abuse of not being able to be who you want to be. While, Madonna deals with her personal childhood in a stunning ballad that implies that her father was not only verbally abusive, but physically abusive, but that “He didn't want to hurt me. He didn't want to live this way.” Then, you have Pat Benatar with cold precision sets down the facts of child abusive in a sometimes graphic manner. Although, not a major hit, any Pat Benatar fan is likely to recognize it as one of the standouts from her album Crimes of Passion. One of the few hard 80's rock songs that songs just as hard twenty years later as it did when it was written.

“Alive” may or may not be directly about spousal abuse, but battered women have collectively used it as an anthem, and nothing stops it from being one of the most stunning songs of Jennifer Lopez's career.

A sobering fact is that according to the World Health Organization forty percent of women murdered are killed by a spouse or partner.

Buy "Concrete Angel"

Buy "Dirty Laundry"

Buy "Never Go Home Again"

Buy "Oh Father"

Buy "Hell Is For Children"

Buy "Alive"