A love of Jamie Lee Curtis and 80s horror films led me to watch the critically disparaged and moderate commercial success of Terror Train. The film hasn't been added to the National Film Registry, but I think it's a forgotten gem in the slasher genre.
Terror Train has it all. A sick joke gone awry. Frat boys with their throats slit. Trains. A killer who changes outfits with every kill. It's frankly classic. By 21st century standards it plays as a thriller, the show down between Jamie Lee Curtis and the killer offers the most scintillating excitement.
Jamie Lee Curtis made the early part of her career starring as the survivor girl in a string of horror films and Terror Train would be one of her last. She would reprise her role as Laurie Strode in Halloween II one last time, before going on to win a BAFTA for her role in Trading Places in 1983.
I needed that. There's someone who's been making me feel really shitty recently. I feel like I'm not good enough or that I'm just this prop that they use when they're bored. I was even going through my twitter feed and I saw something I said. It was something along the lines of 'never try to convince someone of how fabulous you are'. And, I don't know if that's what I was doing, but I really needed Elle Woods to make me realize. That I am never going to be good enough for this person and that they don't care about me.
After this realization the only thing to do was to watch the movie. I didn't actually get to it at 3:00 that morning, but I did get to it later that night. I sat down with a bowl of grapes and orange juice and said to myself this is the most perfect snack for a movie. Except not really.
Hopefully, you remember Legally Blonde. My generation might be more attached to it then others. Reese Whitherspoon is in the lead. Everyone loves it. There was a musical. A sequel we don't need to talk about. The premise is that a beautiful blonde goes to law school to win her boyfriend back. When it's laid out like that it doesn't sound quite as amazing as it is. I guarantee you need to watch it. Forewarning that I took notes while watching this movie and that there will be spoilers.
Warner is Elle's horrible, but reasonably hot boyfriend. Who dumps her and leaves her for icky Vivian Kensington. Who despite being in need of some mascara is not deformed. My favorite part of Warner breaking up with Elle is all the reasons comes up with him for leaving her. “Are my boobs too big?” “Am I too blonde???”
Warner is an ass and thank God, Elle realizes that she will never take him back. That said she does force her way into Harvard Law to get back with him. The best part is the video she filmed for it. If you've seen the movie, you remember the part where she objects to someone objectifying her and she says “I feel comfortable using legal jargon in every day life.”
The manicurist also makes the movie. She's played by Jennifer Coolidge who was also in A Cinderella Story (the one with Hilary Duff). She's so funny. This is also where the iconic “bend and snap” came into pop culture. There is literally nothing about this role I don't like.
There is also so much good cleavage game. Reese Whitherspoon kills it in that bunny suit. Ali Larter also nails her cleavage. Like god damn. Racquel Welch also makes an appearance and I don't particularly remember her cleavage, but Racquel has amazing cleavage so I'm sure it's probably in there at some point.
Elle also solves a law case. Proving that you can be both smart and beautiful. And, that they are not mutually exclusive. Never forget the wise insight that “happy people just don't shoot their husbands”.
Legally Blonde is really just my childhood and it came to me in a time of need. When I needed guidance. When I needed someone to point out to me that I was not feeling good about myself. Elle Woods spoke to me and I just understood. Elle becomes valedictorian at the end and she says “you must always have faith in yourself”. I forgot that. I'm awesome and I let someone make me feel like I wasn't. If you have a person like that. This is my wake up call to you. Drop them. Fuck them. They are not worth it. You are fucking awesome and you don't deserve to have to put up with someone who brings you down.
Greta Garbo, and Monroe