Category: Culture

Paris Is Burning

6/22/2017

Paris Is Burning is one of the defining documentaries of the 1980s. It brought vogueing to the mainstream from the underground black and gay communities of New York City. It's been highly influential in exposing a part of society that was neglected for the better part of the 20th century.

RuPaul's sole hit “Supermodel (You Better Work)” cites “Shantay! Sashay!” His TV show Drag Race dedicates a portion to “reading”. Because, reading is what? FUNDAMENTAL! RuPaul would even airlift one of Venus Xtravaganza's read into his single “Looking Good, Feeling Gorgeous”. Venus declared, “your just an overgrown orangutan!”

Venus Xtravganza famously said, "I would like to be a spoiled rich white girl. They get whatever they want."

The documentary includes nuggets of wisdom from all walks of life. Octavia Saint Laurent said, “I think all men are dogs (…) they all start barking sooner or later.” Or take Eileen Ford's advice when it comes to modeling, “when people ask you how you feel don't tell them your sick, because they don't really care.” Paris Is Burning is the kind of gem that has to be watched at least once.

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She's Sooo Rock N Roll

8/11/2016

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Avril Lavigne's decade plus career in the music industry has yielded hits, multi-platinum albums, and iconic pieces of pop culture.

Since, the eighties and the invention of the music video, an artist has been revealed and proliferated through what they can convey through a TV screen. Madonna and Michael Jackson mastered this art of communication, while others have slipped. Avril Lavigne with her anti-commercial stance has fumbled in her “I'm not like other girls” image.

This is a list of her 5 Worst (Best?) music videos, one from each Avril Lavigne era, that visually guide us through her punk rock reveling image.

Buy "Complicated"

Let Go (2001)
“Complicated”
Avril Lavigne's breakthrough hit was accompanied by a video that introduced her to pop fans. The video may have been good for it's time, but it certainly hasn't held up. See this along with “Sk8r Boi” for the template of social rejects who didn't fit into the Britney/Christina mold.

The video finds Avril hanging out with her boys. She's too cool to have girlfriends after all. She's not the kind of girl who talks about lip gloss. It poignantly starts with her asking her skater friends, “Dude you wanna crash the mall?” Someone had to shoplift the Hot Topic on Tuesday and Avril Lavigne's schedule was free.

Buy "Don't Tell Me"

Under My Skin (2004)
“Don't Tell Me”
This album was an attempt to make Avril more “mature”. A look that decidedly hasn't worked for her. It produced a number of hits and the music video's were more palatable then it's predecessor. Still it's a toss up between “Don't Tell Me” and “He Wasn't” for worst visual treatment.

Where “He Wasn't” revels in it's parody status of a garage band filming it's low budget video, the stalker theme of “Don't Tell Me” isn't so self aware. Avril finds herself following her low rent boyfriend, an anonymous goth. She's a child of the streets after all. It's a painful trip of angst. Fist to broken mirror included!!

Buy "Girlfriend"

The Best Damn Thing (2007)
“Girlfriend”
Avril Lavigne finally caught onto the game she was playing. “Girlfriend” was her knockout cheerleader rant hit and the video is a sticky guilty pleasure. It was once the most viewed video on YouTube and for good reasons. It's easy to make fun of, but that's what we were supposed to do. There's a cute dark haired boy. There's two girls. One who has him and one who “deserves” him. Avril Lavigne is the protagonist and antagonist ala Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”. AND, it all takes place at a Golf N Stuff (Family Fun Center).

Buy "What The Hell"

Goodbye Lullaby (2011)
“What The Hell”
You can argue this song parodies the Avril Lavigne sonic sounds and lyrical content she's made her brand off of. It does, all in a tongue in cheek way. It makes sense that the video follows suit. You see Avril Lavigne being a bad girl, stealing taxi cabs. You can even find her mother making a cameo as a store clerk.

Buy "Rock N Roll"

Avril Lavigne (2013)
“Rock N Roll”
Say what you want about the visual for “Here's To Never Growing Up”, it was fun, candy coated, and predictable. And, arguably “Hello Kitty” was the worst, but nothing was more middle finger raising about expectations for an Avril Lavigne video then “Rock N Roll”. There's product placement (Can I make it any more obvious?). Cartoon graphics circa the campy Batman in the sixties and some Katy Perry kissing girls action. It has it all and exactly what you would want from Avril Lavigne a decade after her foray into the music industry.

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My Little Blue Dress

6/30/2016

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With Hilary Clinton clinching the Democrat nomination over presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders a few weeks ago, I thought it was time to reminisce. I have limited knowledge about Hilary's politics beyond her grandstanding this year. Of course I know she was a senator in New York and that she was a Secretary of State for Obama, but that's just visceral wikipedia knowledge.

Truly the only thing I know about the Clintons, beside their support of the racially charged “super predator” concept is the Monica Lewinsky scandal.

It was the biggest thing to rock the nineties after Kurt Cobain's death. It was the pop culture phenom of the century. Their were SNL skits and if the internet was functioning they way it was now we would have had memes referencing Bill's infamous, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

By this point we all know Bill Clinton did have sexual relations. I've always found it rather uncessary how we've expected Hilary to answer for Bill's scandal during his presidency. Her moral actions weren't involved when any of this went down.

I've always thought that the Clinton's had a loveless marriage. As every great political couple should be, it needs to be all about power and gain. Love is a frivolity in politics. Maybe I've been watching too much House of Cards.

I personally love Monica Lewinsky. She's honestly a role model to me. This woman picked herself back up and she's led her life despite all the public scandal and ridicule she faced. Praise her. It's must have been so traumatic being the center of such a political scandal. She was the “home wrecker” who led Bill on.

Now, I'm not sure who actually believes that. Bill Clinton's the kind of man who's very charismatic. You know I don't blame her. If the president wanted me to suck his dick, I would probably do it.

Hopefully, I would be experienced enough to swallow and not let it get all on my blue dress, but she was young. She must have been so flattered, that one of the most powerful men in the world was interested in her. I know I would have been. I feel like she was completely manipulated in this situation. We're her actions less then smart. Of course, but I don't blame her. She was young and you got to make mistakes.

I can't express enough how much of an inspiration she is too me. America bullied Monica and she's hear being this positive ray of light in the world and I just love her. I'm a fan.

I don't want this scandal to be what defines her. I think she deserves better then that. I hope she makes a name for herself outside of her niche of pop culture phenom. They say that all press is good press, but I don't know if that was the case for her. She should not be defined by something that was five minutes of her life. It's not fair to degrade someone to one action.

You can hate on Monica Lewinsky all you want, but not many people can say they've been name checked by Beyonce. According to the New York Magazine she's been named checked in 128 different songs. Choke on that America.

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The Duke is Dead

4/21/2016

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Former living legend, Patty Duke has passed away at the young age of sixty nine. The exact cause had something to do with “sepsis”. A particularly nasty word for when the body attacks itself in response to an affection.

Patty Duke was an actress of the golden age. Not that she was an Elizabeth Taylor by any stretch of the imagination. Instead she was a Ricky Nelson. A teen idol. A blonde cornerstone of American youth.

I actually have such a relationship with Patty Duke. She's been apart of my life. I always used to watch The Patty Duke Show with my great aunt. It was our thing along with The Price is Right and The Dick Van Dyke Show.

I used to catch up with The Patty Duke Show in high school. I would have it on the TV in the morning. It came on at 5:30. I would get dressed and blearily watch it. Patty Duke was my bitch.

The Patty Duke Show was a good sixties sitcom. It was in black and white. Patty Duke pulled some Haley Mills, Parent Trap voodoo, she played two identical cousins. They were Patty and Cathy. It was full of innocent, heterosexual reassuring past times. The comedy was classic and pure and child friendly. The show only had 3 seasons, but they packed in over a 100 episodes. It was a time to be alive.

This show was the foundation of her career. It's her namesake and what she is more then likely most well known for.

She did a lot of stage acting later in her career, but she also played Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker. That's an iconic movie. It had Anne Bancroft in it. The movie dealt with Helen and Anne Sullivan helping her come to terms with and deal with her physical impairments. It's classic viewing if you have a love for Helen Keller.

Patty Duke had other mature roles, but none that are truly noteworthy.

Except, for her turn as Neely O'Hara in Valley of the Dolls. The movie is kind of shit if we're being real, but it's some good shit. It's trashy fun. I live for it.

The movie does not do justice to the pop culture classic that was the book of the same name by Jacqueline Susann. This movie has it all. Pill popping, big boobs. It also had Sharon Tate in it. One of the many Charles Manson murder victims.

Patty Duke also had a singing career. She only had one sizeable hit, but it hit the top ten so that's nothing to scoff at. “Don't Just Stand There” hit number eight and she also had a top forty hit with “Say Something Funny”. Her albums didn't sell, but that's okay. She's a culture icon.

Buy "Don't Just Stand There"

I know Patty Duke hadn't been doing anything recently, but it's sad to see her go. She was a cultural staple of an earlier more racist, homophobic society. And, I for one loved Patty Duke. She will be missed.

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Hard Nipples & Crime Fighting

4/7/2016

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One of the reasons I've wanted to grow up in the seventies was not only so I could have lived through Donna Summer's artistic and commercial peak, but so I could have caught Charlie's Angels every night it came on ABC.

Charlie's Angels is the kind of rerun I like to catch on TV. It has it all. Sex. Violence. A mysterious wealthy benefactor. It was a massive ratings success, even if it only lasted for 5 seasons. More a result of the ever changing cast, then an actual dip in quality.

There are so many criticisms of Charlie's Angels. All of them well founded. They said people only watched, because of the sexy female leads. Their not wrong, but it's not as if there was anything better to watch. And, Farrah Fawcett's nipples were amazing. May she rest in peace. Charlie's Angels in truth was good mindless filler TV.

It was also the launching pad of it's three main stars. The original trio: Farrah Fawcett, Jaclyn Smith, and Kate Jackson.

Farrah was the true star. Sexy. Blond bombshell. She had that amazing smile. She was friendly and personable. I cried when she passed away from cancer. She was my childhood and even though she was only a series regular for one season, I feel like she's the trademark blonde angel.

Jaclyn Smith was the only one who made it for all 5 seasons. She knew a good thing when she had it. This girl got shot so many times. She was tall, dark, and glamorous. I don't think she was “fun”, but she was very serious. And, such a classic beauty. Charlie's Angels would be lost without her.

Farrah Fawcett

Jaclyn Smith

Kate Jackson

Shelley Hack

Cheryl Ladd

I LIVE for Kate Jackson. Her personality was spunky and sparkly. She's one of my favorite angels. Not the most traditionally pretty, but she was sentimental and necessary. It still hurts that she left after season 3. Even if that did open up a spot for one of my personal favorite angels.

Shelley Hack was a supermodel. Gorgeous. Stunning. She only lasted for one season, maybe it was one, two many blondes in a season. But, season 4 had the sharpest writing out of all of them. Charlie's Angels was elevated to true quality television. Shelley Hack has a solid place of pure unconditional love in my heart. Forever and always

Cheryl Ladd was Farrah Fawcett's replacement for season 2. She made it all the way until the end. She was Jill's (Farrah Fawcett) sister, but she didn't have the bright star quality that Farrah did. Farrah Fawcett was a one in a million. Cheryl Ladd was pretty, but boring. Honestly, she was never one of my favorites and that's not a bad thing. She just didn't grow on me.

Tanya Roberts was the final angel. She did little for me, but she was pretty. Season 5 was the place to end it.

Charlie's Angels lives on as a pop culture phenom. It had that horrible reboot a few years ago. Those wonderful movies with Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, and Lucy Liu fucking shit up. They were amazing. Despite what anyone will tell you, this show and everything connected to it was golden, and God truly blessed us when he gave us Charlie's Angels.

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Gucci, Gucci, Fendi, Fendi, Prada

9/22/2015

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Guess who's birthday it is?

A few million people, but today I'm specifically referencing everyone's favorite female rapper: Kreayshawn. She might not be everyone's favorite. Most would say Nicki Minaj or if they wanted to go old school, Missy Elliot or Lil Kim. Some obnoxious middle schoolers from the suburbs of Sydney might say Iggy Azalea.

Years ago in the world of pop domination, Kreayshawn released the immortal “Gucci, Gucci”. It's the hip hop song of 2011. This song may not have made the top 40, but everyone knows some Kreayshawn.

Buy "Gucci Gucci"

I was first introduced to Kreayshawn and her world of misdeeds by J Lo and Thunder. Back in the good old days when J. Lo and I were still friends and Thunder hadn't moved cross country to Georgia. These are the two whitest bitches I know.

“Gucci Gucci” is the only hit that dear Kreayshawn has ever had. Although, personally I enjoyed both “Breakfast (Syrup)” and “Go Hard (La La). One of these songs had 2 Chainz on it and when you get Kreayshawn and 2 Chainz together, you know that's some good stuff.

Buy "Breakfast Syrup"

Buy "Go Hard (La La)"

Maybe America just wasn't ready for a white female rapper at this time. Kreayshawn's flows might not be the best, but their infectious. She's basically the female Juicy J and I mean that in the highest regards.

Her debut album Something 'Bout Kreay was quality. That is if your invested in the brand that is Kreayshawn. If you're not feeling “Gucci Gucci” you can't take a full length of this.

Buy Something 'Bout Kreay

My personal favorite is the album only “Left Ey3”. Some throwback background reference on this song. The title of this song is in reference to the late Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes. She was the rapper in the female lead R&B girl group TLC

Now way back when in 1994 she burned her boyfriend's house down. The chorus to this Kreayshawn song is “I'm going to burn this house down like I'm fucking Left Eye”. I don't know what more quality lyric you want in your life. But, that's just my kind of pop culture rap right there.

Buy "Left Ey3"

You should read up on Left Eye. She's fascinating. In fact I should do a Throwback Thursday on her, but that's neither here nor there.

Now that's it 2015 and Kreayshawn is a footnote, what has she been up to. No new singles have been released for a follow up album to Something 'Bout Kreay.

She has released new music with Australian electronic duo Nervo. The single is called “Hey Ricky” and it was featured on their album Collateral that came out in July. And, just to remind us what a classy sophisticated broad she is, her radio show on The Cut is called “Lost in Thot”.

Buy "Hey Ricky"

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Video Games Are Art

8/27/2015

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I went to an art exhibit with Boomer recently. The question posed was “Are video games art?” The point of the exhibit was to convince you that they are.

I dragged Boomer along, so we could get some culture in and because he's obsessed with video games. I am not so. One time a boy asked me if I played video games. I said no and then I was like well... And, he said to me that whenever people say that it means that they have a Wii.

He was right.

Now the exhibit was interactive. You could actually play some of the games. It was really cool. Boomer did not let me read most of the information despite the fact that I was blogging on the material. He already knew most of it. Still, it was amazing.

The very first home gaming system was the Odyssey. Yes, I had to google that. I didn't remember. I can't tell you much about it other then it's old as hell. This gaming system was released in 1972. I was unaware that these things existed outside of arcades until the nineties. The flagship game for this system was the immortal pong.

Now I learned something crazy about Pac-Man. So, Pac-Man is actually based off a Japanese story. The story is that this creature eats children in order to protect them from monsters. It really begs the question of who's the villain in this story. Now, I don't know about you, but I've never been good at Pac-Man. Or any video game.

One of the most interesting games I learned about was 1943: The Battle of Midway. The concept is that your this fighter jet attacking Japanese planes in order to sink one of the Japanese ships. It was one of the most successful shoot em up games. But, the crazy part to me is that this was created by Japanese developers. I find that to be an interesting choice. I don't know how I as Japanese person would have felt about creating a video game where the goal is for Americans to kill the Japanese. It's a little unsettling.

This game was even on the immortal Commodore. A gaming system I'd never heard of until this exhibit.

During the nineties video games really hit their stride. Sega released their console Genesis with their incredibly successful Sonic franchise. Did you know that Sonic only has one eye and that the character Tails was originally supposed to be based off of Madonna? It's crazy.

The exhibit also discussed computer games. The only one it really focused on was Myst. I knew of this game. It was an adventure puzzle game. It pioneered computer video games. My aunt loves this game. It's supposed to be incredibly difficult. You don't know what's happening. Your just this unnamed character exploring this island The only kind of puzzle games I ever played were the Nancy Drew ones. I'm just a dork enough to love them.

The craziest thing that happened is how upset Boomer was that Halo 2 was featured instead of the original Halo for X-Box. He was so mad. I even sparked a debate at my work over this very topic. Something was said about the multiplayer online function or something like that. Either way I didn't understand any of the anger. The only time I ever played Halo they had to turn off the friendly fire option, because I kept killing my partner.

Now the game I truly consider art was Flower. It was released on one of the Play Station systems and the entire point is to move flowers. You play the wind and you traverse this terrain. It's soothing and beautiful. Absolutely amazing. Now, I wouldn't have spent fifty dollars to play the wind, but I most certainly see the artistic merit of this game. It was visually stunning. The entire thing.

The final game I saw that sparked my interest was released a few years ago. It's called Heavy Rain. Boomer had never played it, but he had heard of it. It's the kind of game where you can make moral choices that effect the game play. You can kill people.

There's a serial killer who drowns people during heavy rain. It's intense. There's a cop. There's children. Multiple ways to get to the end of the story and different ways to act out the scenario. Your basically living this story. It would be too much for me, but I digress.

I don't know if I've done an accurate job of relaying the history of video games or convinced you that their art. But, no one can ever tell me that there isn't artistic merit to these games. Creating these worlds with computer models instead of a paint brush doesn't diminish their creativity.

Although, Halo is not art. It has the merit of a Kids Bop CD.

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The Feminist Manifesto

5/7/2015

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Picture it.

It's 3:00 in the morning, I've just woken up from when I crashed at 8:00 the night before and the first thing I think of is Legally Blonde. Specifically the part where Elle says to Warner, “I'm never going to be good enough for you am I?”

I needed that. There's someone who's been making me feel really shitty recently. I feel like I'm not good enough or that I'm just this prop that they use when they're bored. I was even going through my twitter feed and I saw something I said. It was something along the lines of 'never try to convince someone of how fabulous you are'. And, I don't know if that's what I was doing, but I really needed Elle Woods to make me realize. That I am never going to be good enough for this person and that they don't care about me.

After this realization the only thing to do was to watch the movie. I didn't actually get to it at 3:00 that morning, but I did get to it later that night. I sat down with a bowl of grapes and orange juice and said to myself this is the most perfect snack for a movie. Except not really.

Hopefully, you remember Legally Blonde. My generation might be more attached to it then others. Reese Whitherspoon is in the lead. Everyone loves it. There was a musical. A sequel we don't need to talk about. The premise is that a beautiful blonde goes to law school to win her boyfriend back. When it's laid out like that it doesn't sound quite as amazing as it is. I guarantee you need to watch it. Forewarning that I took notes while watching this movie and that there will be spoilers.

This is the movie that decided the sorority I wanted to join. I wanted to be a Delta Nu just like Elle Woods (Reese Whitherspoon) and Brooke Taylor-Windham. Even if Brooke did get liposuction. Those hopes and dreams were ruined when my school didn't have a Delta Nu chapter among other inconsequential problems.

Warner is Elle's horrible, but reasonably hot boyfriend. Who dumps her and leaves her for icky Vivian Kensington. Who despite being in need of some mascara is not deformed. My favorite part of Warner breaking up with Elle is all the reasons comes up with him for leaving her. “Are my boobs too big?” “Am I too blonde???”

Warner is an ass and thank God, Elle realizes that she will never take him back. That said she does force her way into Harvard Law to get back with him. The best part is the video she filmed for it. If you've seen the movie, you remember the part where she objects to someone objectifying her and she says “I feel comfortable using legal jargon in every day life.”

Some of this movie is questionable.

Elle's dog is definitely a fave. He is a chihuahua. He wears a suit and tie at one point. His name is Bruiser. Which if that is not ironic, I don't know what is. He's basically the equivalent of Paris Hilton's Tinker Bell, except with a more masculine name. That dog is everything.

The manicurist also makes the movie. She's played by Jennifer Coolidge who was also in A Cinderella Story (the one with Hilary Duff). She's so funny. This is also where the iconic “bend and snap” came into pop culture. There is literally nothing about this role I don't like.

There is also so much good cleavage game. Reese Whitherspoon kills it in that bunny suit. Ali Larter also nails her cleavage. Like god damn. Racquel Welch also makes an appearance and I don't particularly remember her cleavage, but Racquel has amazing cleavage so I'm sure it's probably in there at some point.

Elle also solves a law case. Proving that you can be both smart and beautiful. And, that they are not mutually exclusive. Never forget the wise insight that “happy people just don't shoot their husbands”.

Legally Blonde is really just my childhood and it came to me in a time of need. When I needed guidance. When I needed someone to point out to me that I was not feeling good about myself. Elle Woods spoke to me and I just understood. Elle becomes valedictorian at the end and she says “you must always have faith in yourself”. I forgot that. I'm awesome and I let someone make me feel like I wasn't. If you have a person like that. This is my wake up call to you. Drop them. Fuck them. They are not worth it. You are fucking awesome and you don't deserve to have to put up with someone who brings you down.

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The Poncho From Guadalajara

4/9/2015

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Hopefully, you remember the show on ABC known as Ugly Betty. I love it. Of course I do, I wouldn't be writing a Throwback Thursday on it if I didn't have a little part of me that was attached to it. I've been rewatching the show and I made strong headway over spring break. I planned on watching all four seasons, I barely made it through season one, so much for that plan.

The basic premise of this show is that Betty Saurez (played by America Ferrera) is not traditionally attractive. She has an average body type, braces, with no taste in clothes and unflattering glasses frames. And, of course she works as the secretary to the editor in chief of a fashion magazine. It's all loosely based off of Vogue.

The first season starts with the new editor in chief (Daniel Meade) taking the place of Fey Summers. The former editor in chief who died in a horrible car crash after her brake lines were cut. We see glimpses of Fey Summers with her bob and prim attitude, reminiscent of current Vogue editor, Anna Wintour.

Fey Sommers

Anna Wintour

This show is built off of drama. The bitchy secretaries (Amanda and Mark), the woman plotting to take over the magazine (Wilhemina Slater), the tumultuous Meade family, and the daily struggles of the Suarez household. That include, but are not limited to: Betty's boyfriend she doesn't love but doesn't know how to break up with, Hilda's love for the man who knocked her up, Betty's father being deported, Betty's nephew Justin dealing with the problems of choosing not to conform to adolescent standards, shady lawyers, case workers, and a slutty neighbor.

Amanda and Mark

I might have missed something. Sometimes I forget that this show is based off a telenovela. I have never seen a telenovela, but from what I understand their like our soap operas, times ten. I was informed by someone I sit with at lunch not to judge Hispanic culture by this and I told him who am I to judge. What really is American culture? Throwing tea into the ocean and baseball. We are not the ones to judge.

I do have a dirty secret about Ugly Betty. I actually hate Betty. The titular character, the reason we tuned in every week. She is just so annoying. She tries so hard to be nice and good. She is constantly having all of these unnecessary moral dilemmas. Come on Betty, don't sell your soul to the devil (Wilhemina) but you don't have to be so clingy and an upright pillar of the community. Live.

Honestly, I love everyone who isn't, Betty. Although, I do hate all of Betty's boyfriends. They just reinforce the fact that men are shit. Wilhemina is probably my favorite. Vanessa Williams killed this role. She is bitchy and in command and me. Her assistant Mark is adorable and equally bitchy as is his assistant friend Amanda. She's my queen. Claire Meade, wife of Bradford Meade, is queen bitch. Slay mama Meade. I love all of Betty's family. Her sister can be annoying. Her father is everything and 12 year old me totally had a crush on Justin.

Claire Meade

Hilda Suarez

Bradford Meade

Ignacio Suarez

It's really weird looking back on this show at 18 and realizing I had a crush on him. I feel really pedophilic. It was age appropriate at the time and now I'm just like I can't take back these feelings. Grown up Justin has moments where he's really cute.

Justin is probably one of my favorites. I especially like his relationship with Mark. Mark is like his guardian gay. He's always there to mentor him and I just love it. When the two of them are together it's everything. Justin is also not openly gay until the last season. It's coming to terms with it and I love how his family is just always there being supportive. Even, his biological father gets on board eventually with letting Justin be Justin. It's just really nice. It's how it should be. My parents died, because in the last season Justin finally kisses this boy he likes. They saw it and they were like that's disgusting. And, I was like this is the best part of Ugly Betty.

I definitely think you should watch it. I want to tell you more, but I don't know how much I can tell you without giving away the entire plot of the first season. Make sure whatever you do, though, that if you watch the first season that you have access to the second season. The season finale of season one was everything. If you were a character on Ugly Betty at that point you were either in some state of moral peril or your world was literally falling apart. There was no in between. It was awesome.

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It's The Girls!

2/12/2015

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Not only is It's The Girls! the title of Bette Midler's fantastic new album. It's also representative of what today's Throwback Thursday. Girl groups. The doo wop and the rock n roll and the shimmying and sashaying of women all around the world.

What really started this was Fifth Harmony. You should know about them. They've been gaining a steady little fanbase. They had that one song “Boss” people really got into. They performed it on the New Year's Eve ball. Is was so funny. They were all lip syncing. It was beautiful.

It's there newest song “Sledgehammer” that's been gaining some traction. I think it's bland and completely basic, but I love it. If you could feel my pulse it would hit you like a sledgehammer. I would completely understand the inability to remain calm around your crush if I wasn't soooo cool and collected.

Buy "Sledgehammer"

Needless to say I've been jamming out to it. It got me thinking about whether girl groups were coming back. We shall see. Fifth Harmony hasn't been the success story of One Direction as of yet. And, even with the success of One Direction we've only had that 5 Seconds of Summer group make any real headway.

Girl groups were huge way back when in the fifties and sixties. I'm just going to be lazy and use Bette Midler as my jumping off point on this. You've got The Ronettes, The Chiffons, The Andrews Sisters, The Chordettes, The Crystals, The Angels. Basically if you start a girl group you have to start it out with 'the'. Of course I casually forgot to mention The Supremes. You know only one of the most successful girl groups of all times.

The Ronettes

The Andrews Sisters

The Crystals

The Chiffons

The Chordettes

The Angels

I would tell you the songs all these groups sing, but I just don't know how well up you are on your fifties culture. It was songs like “Mr. Sandman”, “Stop! In The Name of Love” and “My Boyfriends Back” that defined a generation. Or more accurately defined the aging patriarchs of my family's childhood.

Buy "Mr. Sandman"

Buy "My Boyfriend's Back"

Buy "Stop! In The Name of Love"

After the sixties. Girl groups died. I'm sure they had some, I'm just not sure what they are. The nineties were when they really picked back up. However, if we skip two decades, I wouldn't be able to mention how Joan Jett (singer of “I Love Rock n Roll”) was part of this very well received all girl rock band called The Runaways. The most successful song they had was called “Cherry Bomb”. That being said, most people don't know it.

Buy "Cherry Bomb"

Left Eye

There were two girl groups who defined the 90's. TLC and The Spice Girls. More then likely we would be hardcore fan girling over TLC if rapper Left Eye hadn't died tragically all those years ago.

Speaking of this new TLC project. I honestly don't want to hear it. I love TLC. I don't want new TLC music without Left Eye. I won't be buying it. I hope it does well for them, but I have no interest.

When it comes to The Spice Girls, this is age appropriate at this point. If all there remembered for is “Wannabe” that's all they need. That song is so iconic it hurts. And we still know who Victoria Beckham is. They may have only had three albums, but Lord knows that they are icons.

Buy "Wannabe"

You may be saying to yourself how could you forget about Destiny's Child. Because, if we're all being honest Destiny's Child is really just another name for Beyonce. Love them and all, but it's about Beyonce.

Destiny's Child

I suppose that's the question with the new girl group of Fifth Harmony. Which, one is the Beyonce? That I don't know. Time will tell. There all kind of boring. Sure their pretty, but not anything amazing. I don't know. I like that one Fifth Harmony song, but as a group they're dull. They don't have half of what The Spice Girls did.

That said wishing them luck in 2015 right along with TLC. Dominate the world. Shut it down.

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