Category: Demanding

Great Dane Problems

11/7/2015

My baby's birthday is coming up. I have not given birth recently. My loveable if annoying creature is turning eight tomorrow. Strangely enough he shares a November 8th birthday with one of the Scorpio's I'm closest to. I think it's fate.

The only dogs my family have ever bought have been Great Danes. I cannot tell you how many times I've been told that I'm walking “a horse.” The neighbors refer to me as “the boy with the big dog”. They also know his name some how, but they don't know mine. I don't know how they learned his name, so there's that.

It's been said that Great Danes are gentle giants. I suppose that's true. They did used to hunt boars way back in the way back. In case you didn't know. Boars are nasty mother fuckers not to be messed with.

They really are sweet. Although, the drool is a little much to deal with as is. I think a big dog problem is their inability to not step on your feet. I used to have beautiful feet and then we got this dog. I'm fairly sure their the second biggest dog in the world next to the Mastiff. Please do not quote me on that. And, I actually think that their taller then them.

Great Danes are one of the most beautiful breeds of dogs. Although, they have yet to win overall at the Westminister Dog Show. So, I'm not mad about that. They've been the inspiration for multiple cartoon dogs. See Scooby Doo and Astro from The Jetsons.

My brute is definitely my dog. He likes my mother better, but we're very similar. He's demanding. He wants what he wants. He is pushy. He's annoying as fuck actually. But, still deep in the recesses of my cold heart, he's the only thing I actually care about.

I realized when I was trying to decide if I should study abroad for a semester that there are two things I would miss. 1) I would miss taking two hour long showers and not being judged for it. And, 2) I would miss that big beast with all of his claws. When the parents leave as they often do. I stay at home with him and we bond. Often in separate rooms. I think he has a problem with all the Lady Gaga I listen to.

The most embarrassing thing I do is sing Linda Ronstadt's “Angel Baby” to him. He consistently looks at me like I'm dumbest human alive, but it's fine because this is the same dog that doesn't understand he can walk through an open door.

A fun fact about Great Danes is that they were a favorite in Germanic courts. What I'm trying to say is that this dog is essentially royalty. His ancestors used to guard the royals. Although, he's a punk can't handle the fifty degree weather of October.

I'm going to attempt to take a picture with him to include. We'll see how well that goes. If not at least I have my video that he interrupted. Someone told me to be nice to my dog and I was like bitch, he is in the way.